# Area picnic table totally asking for it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531 "2008-04-01T15:18:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/1 "2008-04-01T15:18:02Z")
[Huron county just doesn’t approve of furniture-fuckers](http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080401/NEWS02/804010396): > [@](#): > > BELLEVUE, Ohio - Felony indecency charges against a Bellevue man accused of lewd behavior on a deck behind his house were dismissed yesterday, but other charges may be filed, Huron County Prosecutor Russell Leffler said. > > Art Price, Jr., 40, was arrested March 20 after officials at a school near his home complained that he was engaging in lewd behavior with a picnic table on the deck - and submitted video evidence. Leave the guy alone. The splinters will be enough punishment, not to mention the inevitable distribution of the video evidence online. (Oh yeah, prepare to get deckrolled. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/2 "2008-04-01T15:36:01Z")
Just love the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/3 "2008-04-01T15:40:55Z")
[QUOTE=bbs2k] Just love the thread title. [/QUOTE] Me too. Sounds like an Onion article. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/4 "2008-04-01T15:46:41Z")
He was pine’n for the boards? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/5 "2008-04-01T16:03:01Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] He was pine’n for the boards? [/QUOTE] Then he hit it like a hammer. **mobo85** : I’ve been reading the archives a bit recently. Reality felt a bit outdone, so it hit me with this. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/6 "2008-04-01T17:08:26Z")
I bet he had a woodie. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/7 "2008-04-01T17:19:54Z")
Was the neighbor who created the obscene videotape charged? Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/8 "2008-04-01T19:42:56Z")
Looky here, Boo Boo! That’s got to be the ugliest pic-a-nic basket I’ve ever seen! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/9 "2008-04-01T19:52:48Z")
Makes me proud to be an Ohioan. I do want to clear a few things up. Apparently the picnic table was aluminum. (brrrrrrrrr) Also, whoever the a\*\*hole was that taped the guy also taped him in flagrant delicto with a table INSIDE the house. (I thought they arrested peeping toms?) And, the table wasn’t really asking for it, **it** came on to **him**. I’ve never understood the love between a man and his patio furniture but I just figure 'tain’t nun mah bidness. ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/10 "2008-04-01T20:06:44Z")
[QUOTE=The Chao Goes Mu] Apparently the picnic table was aluminum. [/QUOTE] Well, that ruins the crack I was about to make about hoping they can protect [Art Price, III](http://www.disneyanaexchange.com/Photobin/mkt-brendawhite.pinocchio.jpg) from this whole story. I’ll switch to suggesting that if anyone ever points and says to you, “Hey, is that a guy humping a picnic table over there?” that the proper response now is “Yes… but is it Art?” ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/11 "2008-04-01T20:07:39Z")
What a knotty man. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/12 "2008-04-01T20:08:04Z")
So if a man can screw a picnic table, what would that make screwing a coffee table? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/13 "2008-04-01T20:21:23Z")
…and, instead of getting crabs, he’s now suffering from a bad case of ants. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/14 "2008-04-01T20:23:48Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] So if a man can screw a picnic table, what would that make screwing a coffee table? [/QUOTE] A conversation piece? ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/area-picnic-table-totally-asking-for-it/443531/15 "2008-04-01T21:20:49Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] So if a man can screw a picnic table, what would that make screwing a coffee table? [/QUOTE] I guess that depends – was the picnic table monogamous? If so, he’d be cheating with the coffee table – the little slut!