# Aren't insults towards a poster's family off limits? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 5, 2011, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249 "2011-04-05T08:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/1 "2011-04-05T08:24:00Z")
I’m thinking about this post reprinted below. I could understand it not rising to the level of a warning, but surely such things should be specifically discouraged, rather than just getting a [“not pointing fingers”-style post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=13650996#post13650996). > [@When to tell the kids we're going to Disney](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-tell-the-kids-were-going-to-disney/577144/38): > > > [@When to tell the kids we're going to Disney](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-tell-the-kids-were-going-to-disney/577144/31): > > > > From the day we tell them to wheels down in Orlando, I expect a non-stop stream of “How much longer?” > > I’d expect even the 6 year old to be able to make sense of a calendar. > > > [@](#): > > > > If we tell them today, the youngest will probably gnaw a hole in the wall by July in frustration, and the 8 year old will have her hair fall out from stress.. > > Ah, special-needs children. You should have mentioned this in the OP. Also, a related question: in my old days, I would respond to this post in thread, but that seems to be being discouraged by the mods. Would it be okay for me to post something about it in the mini-rants threaqd? I’d feel weird making a whole Pit thread on behalf of someone else (That’s why I always posted in-thread before.), but I do think this post deserves being called out a little more harshly than was already done in thread. In fact, I had a post all ready to throw in the minirants thread before I thought it might not be kosher. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/2 "2011-04-05T12:04:53Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’m thinking about this post reprinted below. I could understand it not rising to the level of a warning, but surely such things should be specifically discouraged, rather than just getting a [“not pointing fingers”-style post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=13650996#post13650996). > > Also, a related question: in my old days, I would respond to this post in thread, but that seems to be being discouraged by the mods. Would it be okay for me to post something about it in the mini-rants threaqd? I’d feel weird making a whole Pit thread on behalf of someone else (That’s why I always posted in-thread before.), but I do think this post deserves being called out a little more harshly than was already done in thread. In fact, I had a post all ready to throw in the minirants thread before I thought it might not be kosher. Let me get this clear. You want the mods to discourage snark? On the SDMB? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/3 "2011-04-05T13:38:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Also, a related question: in my old days, I would respond to this post in thread, but that seems to be being discouraged by the mods. Would it be okay for me to post something about it in the mini-rants threaqd? I’d feel weird making a whole Pit thread on behalf of someone else (That’s why I always posted in-thread before.), but I do think this post deserves being called out a little more harshly than was already done in thread. In fact, I had a post all ready to throw in the minirants thread before I thought it might not be kosher. What do you think that will accomplish? You’re certainly not in it for the discourse - you have a long history of tucking your tail between your legs and running away every single time someone responds to your posts in the Pit. If you’re completely unwilling to receive criticism, why in the world do you think it’s appropriate to give criticism? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/4 "2011-04-05T14:16:15Z")
As far as I know, the only time that snarking on someone’s relatives has been prohibited was a one-time, special case thing involving (I think) Dio’s(?) dad being called a liar in GD and the mod prohibition was a special one-time thing, not a general case. I would strongly oppose such a rule “specifically discouraging” anything of this nature. Also, may I suggest to the OP not everyone is as fragile as him about inter-poster friction and that trying to constantly get the mods to stamp out any sort of conflict and non-hearts & rainbows conversation so as to protect you is trying to change the character of the entire board. A character which I suspect most of us do not want changed. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/5 "2011-04-05T14:31:55Z")
[Foghorn] That’s a joke, I say that’s a joke, Son.[/Foghorn] ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/6 "2011-04-05T17:25:13Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > [Foghorn] That’s a joke, I say that’s a joke, Son.[/Foghorn] Winner!! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/7 "2011-04-05T17:32:27Z")
Yo mamma! [sub]If only there was a way to contact the mods if you felt a post was out of line. Gee, too bad, huh?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/8 "2011-04-05T17:34:20Z")
“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/9 "2011-04-05T19:11:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Also, a related question: in my old days, I would respond to this post in thread, but that seems to be being discouraged by the mods. Would it be okay for me to post something about it in the mini-rants threaqd? I’d feel weird making a whole Pit thread on behalf of someone else (That’s why I always posted in-thread before.), but I do think this post deserves being called out a little more harshly than was already done in thread. In fact, I had a post all ready to throw in the minirants thread before I thought it might not be kosher. If you really feel a post is a significant problem, the best thing to do is to report it and let the mods deal with it. If you feel it’s important enough to deserve some other comment by you, then Pit them. Of course others may not agree with you (and they’ll be sure to let you know it). It would not be against the rules to post something in the minirants thread. However, I’m not sure what you think the point of this would be, unless it is just to get it off your chest. If you want to communicate your opinion to the other poster, it will be more effective to post an independent thread. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/10 "2011-04-05T19:32:03Z")
You know what else is off limits? YOUR MOM is off limits! To insult, I mean. I would never insult your mom. She’s a nice lady. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/11 "2011-04-05T23:27:22Z")
This is the same crap that got you Pitted the last time, dude. Maybe if you had actually read it, you might have learned something instead of worrying how you may have “hurt someone”. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/12 "2011-04-05T23:31:59Z")
Weren’t you the one who said that jokes about a [guy’s sister were pretty standard](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13317943&postcount=83)? Though I have a hard time picturing you in a situation where face to face jokes actually get made… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/13 "2011-04-06T11:20:52Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Weren’t you the one who said that jokes about a [guy’s sister were pretty standard](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13317943&postcount=83)? Though I have a hard time picturing you in a situation where face to face jokes actually get made… Good detective work. **BigT** , you seem pretty inconsistent in regards to what you think is hurtful. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/14 "2011-04-06T11:24:00Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > you have a long history of tucking your tail between your legs and running away every single time someone responds to your posts in the Pit. If you’re completely unwilling to receive criticism, why in the world do you think it’s appropriate to give criticism? Looks like its happening here too. Come on **BigT** , you have posted plenty on the board since starting this thread. Feel like responding to anybody here? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/15 "2011-04-06T12:07:27Z")
I had a response I’ve been working on for hours. I’ve not had a good weekend, and didn’t want to touch this thread until I had time for a good response. Unfortunately, I got up to clear my head before one last reread, and my computer freaked on me while I was gone. I’m not sure how much time I’ll be able to put into a new response, but you’ve called me out, and I will respond. Forgive me if it is more terse. I may have to respond post by post as I can think of it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/16 "2011-04-06T12:21:08Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Weren’t you the one who said that jokes about a [guy’s sister were pretty standard](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13317943&postcount=83)? > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Good detective work. > > **BigT** , you seem pretty inconsistent in regards to what you think is hurtful. What you do in real life and what you do on the Dope are two different subjects. I’m discussing rules here based on what I understand. And, yes, the **Diogenes** thing that **Fenris** mentions is probably where I got the idea that this was a rule. Plus, I said it was standard, not that I actually think it’s okay. > [@Freudian Slit](#): > > Though I have a hard time picturing you in a situation where face to face jokes actually get made… I could say the same thing with you and your feminist posts. Or maybe how your respond here is not how you respond in real life? I just expect the Dope to be consistent. That said, I don’t really tend to associate with people who think it okay to joke disparagingly about family (other than the yo mamma jokes that no one actually thinks are about your mother.) Plus, **RTFirefly** wasn’t making a joke, as evidenced by his later posts. And, yes, an agoraphobe can have real life friends. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/17 "2011-04-06T12:34:30Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > This is the same crap that got you Pitted the last time, dude. Maybe if you had actually read it, you might have learned something instead of worrying how you may have “hurt someone”. No it isn’t. I read the OP. I was pitted for my post to **lorene** , nothing more. Anything else happened way before, and if it actually upset people, they could have pitted me for it. No, these people were just jumping on me. I’m sorry, but I don’t take jumpers-on seriously. I specifically asked people who had a problem other than the one in the OP to PM me, and I got exactly two posters. (Plus **Fenris** who responded in another thread.) One was a sympathetic person who just wanted to explain the problem to me. The other was a noob who was upset at posts I’d made a long time ago. 😕 Both of them got a response. I cannot completely stop calling people out for crap, even if that crap is a crappy moderating decision. But I did promise to be more careful and less of a jerk about it. I said that, if a post made me angry, I would consider whether it was right or wrong, and how important it was. If I am wrong to be upset, I would say nothing. If it’s debatable, I’ll throw in some snark if I can. If it’s truely wrong, I’ll say something, but still try to be nice about it. My contention in this thread has nothing to do with wanting this place to be ubermoderated. It’s a question about a ruling (and about the proper place for a certain type of post), nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/18 "2011-04-06T12:42:16Z")
> [@alan smithee](#): > > you know what else is off limits? > > Your mom is off limits! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Being funny is never off limits, friend! Yeah, it’s a lame joke, but a lame joke can be hilarious in the right context. If **RTFirefly** ’s comment had been a joke, I wouldn’t have said anything even if it were against the rules. Based on the response of the person he was talking to, his subsequent response, and others’ later responses, it was not received as a joke. If you make a joke, the onus on you to make sure people understand it as such. That is a rule. I don’t think **RTFirefly** was joking. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/19 "2011-04-06T12:48:47Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > If you really feel a post is a significant problem, the best thing to do is to report it and let the mods deal with it. > > If you feel it’s important enough to deserve some other comment by you, then Pit them. Of course others may not agree with you (and they’ll be sure to let you know it). > > It would not be against the rules to post something in the minirants thread. However, I’m not sure what you think the point of this would be, unless it is just to get it off your chest. If you want to communicate your opinion to the other poster, it will be more effective to post an independent thread. That is exactly what I wanted to accomplish. If I needed to, I could make sure RTFirefly knew it was there via a post in the thread or a PM. I knew that, once I knew he had read it, my anger would subside and I would have no other reason to talk to him. I get hot under the collar about small things, but it tends to resolve rather quickly. I am loathe to start a Pit thread over such things because, once I’m no longer upset, I no longer have any interest in continuing. Because, if I do, I’ll just get upset again for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249/20 "2011-04-06T13:05:27Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > What do you think that will accomplish? You’re certainly not in it for the discourse - you have a long history of tucking your tail between your legs and running away every single time someone responds to your posts in the Pit. If you’re completely unwilling to receive criticism, why in the world do you think it’s appropriate to give criticism? There’s criticism, and there are superfluous attacks. I don’t mind the former even when directed towards me, but I hate the latter. Even the first post of the BigThanks Pit thread had someone having no problem attacking me for my agoraphobia, which is both irrelevant and way over the pale. Yeah, I read the first post. I said I wouldn’t read the thread. Anyways, my post would only be to tell him that calling a rambunctious kid “special needs” is insulting to the kid, the parent, and the any one with actual special needs. It’s a pet peeve of mine. I couldn’t respond in the thread because the mod note had declared it a hijack. The idea that it was an insult of a family member is somewhat separate, and is only relevant because I thought there was a rule. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arent-insults-towards-a-posters-family-off-limits/577249.md?page=2)