# Armageddon: Good lord what a turkey! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 20, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182 "2006-03-20T19:29:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crandolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Crandolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crandolph)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/1 "2006-03-20T19:29:04Z")
Last night ata friend’s place I finally saw the movie Armageddon. It has [some real problems](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120591/goofs). The ones listed there just scratch the surface. Movies don’t usually rile me enough to post about their goofs, but is Hollywood really this incredibly idiotic that a major, major budget film like this can’t get some basic plot points and science correct? The movie just plum doens’t make any sense. Things I noticed not listed on that Goofs list: So… you’ve planned ahead to have an emergency backup detenator which a person has to stay behind and manually push. And you have a system for blowing up the nuke weapon from Earth. But… you don’t have a backup plan to set off the nuke frome the shuttles?! WTF?! And once the countdown is started to blow the nuke from Earth, why is cutting off the signal going to _stop_ it? Wouldn’t you want the default to be “if no signal, still blow?” Isn’t this the _whole idea_… to be able to set off the bomb if things are _going wrong_? What manner of intelligent meteors are these that seek out NYC, Hong Kong and Paris?! And take out a space shuttle! What are the odds?! How is it that the early meteor showers are wrecking cities but after the Texas-sized meteor is split in half (less said about the physics of that the better) nothing of size is going to hit? How is it that the big meteor isn’t spinning 3D until the crew is damn near on it, yet they show up on the surface with detailed survey photos of the darn thing? Why aren’t these people quaranteened when they return? How can the cosmonaut wlak normally on Earth after 18 months in space? Why is he wearing Soviet gear in or after 1998?! Why is he such a stereotype? (Actually every ethnic charcter or their montage equivalents in the whole damn thing are ethnic stereotypes.) How does the AJ character survive a rocket fuel fire? Why do guys who just got off of a long-term oil rig stint need to borrow money from a loanshark to hit a strip club for a few hours? Why is one of the only two people who can fly the shuttle drawing straws to stay behind? Why does it have ski landing gear in space and wheels on Earth?! How does the whole oil rig crew leave after the Willis character, take commercial flights from the South China Sea to different parts of the US & immediately begin doing strenuous activities BEFORE Willis gets to NASA with a military escort?! In short… W… T … F?! I’m so happy I spent not a penny to see this flaming turd. I’m just a dude with a liberal arts degree, no science background, but the while thing pretty much had me laughing and screaming at the screen. Jerry Bruckheimer must be an idiot. Anyone else have a similar reaction? ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/2 "2006-03-20T19:35:12Z")
You forgot the Unobtainium armor coating the super-dooper space shuttles. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/3 "2006-03-20T19:41:55Z")
Worst. Movie. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/4 "2006-03-20T19:49:30Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Worst. Movie. Ever. No, that (dubious) honor still belongs to [_Nightfall_](http://imdb.com/title/tt0206974/), which managed to absolutely butcher a classic Asimov short story. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/5 "2006-03-20T19:59:16Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > No, that (dubious) honor still belongs to [_Nightfall_](http://imdb.com/title/tt0206974/), which managed to absolutely butcher a classic Asimov short story. I thought we had all settled on \*Battlefield: Earth \* as Worst. Movie. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/6 "2006-03-20T20:04:22Z")
It’s actually not bad, if you watch it expecting the right thing. I like picking apart the science in movies. I watched it for that purpose, and it was fun, in a shooting-fish-in-a-barrel sort of way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/7 "2006-03-20T20:11:33Z")
Ooh, I get to be the first one to link to [Bad Astronomy](http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/movies/armpitageddon.html)’s Armageddon page! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/8 "2006-03-20T20:17:33Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > I thought we had all settled on \*Battlefield: Earth \* as Worst. Movie. Ever. I actually kinda liked that film. Yeah, the dialogue was cheesy and the plot points were ridiculous, but it was entertaining in a mindless sort of way which is pretty much what you expect from a John Travolta film based on an L. Ron Hubbard novel. But _Nightfall_ was just jaw-droppingly awful. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/9 "2006-03-20T20:29:36Z")
LOOK, THEY HAVE TO DRILL TO 800 FEET!! They don’t have time for your stupid nitpicks. I actually kind of like Armageddon, though I’m also glad I never paid money to see it. True, it’s somewhat the lesser of the two movies with Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare, but it does have them. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/10 "2006-03-20T20:46:00Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Worst. Movie. Ever. I don’t know about that, but I saw the first part in the dentist chair while getting a root canal. The movie was far more painful. I’m not making this up. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/11 "2006-03-20T20:47:08Z")
> [@kelly5078](#): > > True, it’s somewhat the lesser of the two movies with Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare, but it does have them. Are you thinking of _Fargo_, or _The Big Lebowski_? Because we have three right now, off the top of my head. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/12 "2006-03-20T20:51:14Z")
While I intensely disliked _Armageddon,_ I do have to admit the commentary track with Ben Affleck was pretty damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/13 "2006-03-20T20:54:27Z")
You might enjoy the review of the movie over at [The Agony Booth](http://www.agonybooth.com/armageddon/). ---
**Author:** ![Illinois\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Illinois\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illinois_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/14 "2006-03-20T20:58:10Z")
What I can’t believe is you wrote a 1/2 page list of terrible awful things in the movie and not once did I read the words “Affleck” and/or “animal crackers”. Inconceivable. Having said that… I love this movie. It’s in my Top 5 Guilty Movie Pleasures. The wife and I will watch at least some if it every time we stumble across is. Every. Damn. Time. Sure it’s got questionable science, and stereotypical characterization, and comes across like ADD on film. But … brave men die heroically, flags flap in slow motion, they blow up a big ass meteor, and the Earth is saved. What’s not to love. Besdies, Bruce Willis makes my cry (and I mean that in a good way). ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/15 "2006-03-20T21:07:36Z")
> [@Crandolph](#): > > Last night ata friend’s place I finally saw the movie Armageddon. It has [some real problems](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120591/goofs). The ones listed there just scratch the surface. Movies don’t usually rile me enough to post about their goofs, but is Hollywood really this incredibly idiotic that a major, major budget film like this can’t get some basic plot points and science correct? > > The movie just plum doens’t make any sense. Things I noticed not listed on that Goofs list: > > So… you’ve planned ahead to have an emergency backup detenator which a person has to stay behind and manually push. And you have a system for blowing up the nuke weapon from Earth. > > But… you don’t have a backup plan to set off the nuke frome the shuttles?! WTF?! > > And once the countdown is started to blow the nuke from Earth, why is cutting off the signal going to _stop_ it? Wouldn’t you want the default to be “if no signal, still blow?” Isn’t this the _whole idea_… to be able to set off the bomb if things are _going wrong_? > > What manner of intelligent meteors are these that seek out NYC, Hong Kong and Paris?! And take out a space shuttle! What are the odds?! How is it that the early meteor showers are wrecking cities but after the Texas-sized meteor is split in half (less said about the physics of that the better) nothing of size is going to hit? > > How is it that the big meteor isn’t spinning 3D until the crew is damn near on it, yet they show up on the surface with detailed survey photos of the darn thing? Why aren’t these people quaranteened when they return? How can the cosmonaut wlak normally on Earth after 18 months in space? Why is he wearing Soviet gear in or after 1998?! Why is he such a stereotype? (Actually every ethnic charcter or their montage equivalents in the whole damn thing are ethnic stereotypes.) How does the AJ character survive a rocket fuel fire? Why do guys who just got off of a long-term oil rig stint need to borrow money from a loanshark to hit a strip club for a few hours? Why is one of the only two people who can fly the shuttle drawing straws to stay behind? Why does it have ski landing gear in space and wheels on Earth?! How does the whole oil rig crew leave after the Willis character, take commercial flights from the South China Sea to different parts of the US & immediately begin doing strenuous activities BEFORE Willis gets to NASA with a military escort?! > > In short… W… T … F?! I’m so happy I spent not a penny to see this flaming turd. I’m just a dude with a liberal arts degree, no science background, but the while thing pretty much had me laughing and screaming at the screen. Jerry Bruckheimer must be an idiot. Anyone else have a similar reaction? Personally its was the endless appaulingly overdone sacarine-sweet Aerosmith-backed romantic and faux-patriotic scenes with Ben bloody Afflect that made it unwatchable to me. You cut those out (and replace Ben Afflect with someone who can act) and it would have been a half decent brainless sci-fi romp, worth watching if not actually paying to watch. I take it for granted that any hollywood sci-fi film (indeed any Hollywood film period) will make no sense what so ever… And you missed the most obvious clanger, why when you are going to space, and every kilo is vital do they have moon buggies with full loaded machine guns on them !!! I mean even if they had payload weight to spare why would they put a machine gun inside a space craft (i.e. a big cylinder of highly flamable gases waiting to explode if say a machine gun bullet hit it). ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/16 "2006-03-20T21:12:02Z")
I like it. It’s a fun movie to introduce somebody to the fine art of film-nitpicking (it is also an ideal movie to introduce somebody to MST3K-ing movies). ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/17 "2006-03-20T21:17:48Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Are you thinking of Fargo, or The Big Lebowski? Because we have three right now, off the top of my head. I was thinking of Fargo; I’d forgotten about TBL. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/18 "2006-03-20T21:24:22Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > No, that (dubious) honor still belongs to [_Nightfall_](http://imdb.com/title/tt0206974/), which managed to absolutely butcher a classic Asimov short story. Horrified as I was to find that they made a movie of Nightfall - which I had been hoping for, and never knew about it - and completely butchered it, I was equally flabbergasted to find, on that page, that they had made a Pink Panther after Pete Sellers was dead. :: shakes head :: The \*greed \* of Hollywood! ---
**Author:** ![Crandolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Crandolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crandolph)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/19 "2006-03-20T22:02:27Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > You might enjoy the review of the movie over at [The Agony Booth](http://www.agonybooth.com/armageddon/). Thanks - funny! ---
**Author:** ![Crandolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Crandolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crandolph)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182/20 "2006-03-20T22:08:23Z")
I forgot to mention that everyone can \*hear noises \* like the drilling in _no atmosphere_… and again, I’m a layperson who hasn’t even hit the Bad Astonomy site yet… which I feel I now need to in order to unlearn anything I might have had reinforced by this movie, which can actually \*make a person dumber \* by watching it… I like sci fi, not a huge fan but I like it. But what I need out of it is cohesion in order for me to suspend belief. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/armageddon-good-lord-what-a-turkey/349182.md?page=2)