# Arrrghhh ....taxes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625 "2000-03-11T23:42:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/1 "2000-03-11T23:42:00Z")
Could they make this more complicated? It isn’t bad enough that I end up paying them more, but to have to put in extra hours trying to figure out wtf they mean by by add this number and take the larger of the two, and then subtract is by whichever is smaller… Sure I could pay someone else to do them, but then I would be forking out more money for the purpose of paying taxes. Sorry… just had to vent! * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/2 "2000-03-11T23:48:00Z")
## I’ve only had to pay once in my life. That was enough for me to make sure that it didn’t happen again. Now I have them take out extra so I don’t pay. Plus having a mortage helps with the interest. I roll all my stock dividends back into stock so I don’t have to claim that. All year I keep the things I know I need. All donations like for church and shelters. And what interest I can list. I pay a lady $10 and she just plugs all the numbers in on her computer program and I’m outta there with taxes in hand in 15 minutes. Makes like easy and I have something to look forward to in spring, my refund. _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![JustDucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f14d63/32.png) [@JustDucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustDucky)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/3 "2000-03-11T23:55:00Z")
There are pretty inexpensive programs you can buy to do all that for you. One is called Tax Cut. I know there are others but I can’t think of them. Should be getting our refund early next week. I can’t wait! Finally going to get a new stove. 😃 Hope you get through taxes with your sanity intact. 😉 Ducky * * * Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/4 "2000-03-12T00:03:00Z")
thanks… unfortunately I have a Mac and the software programs written for taxes are pretty lame. I don’t have a mortgage or kids, so not much to use as write offs either. I had them take more out last year when I had to pay but evidently the way they have you figure it out isn’t simple either. That coupled with the fact I am now single instead of married complicates it. I just wish they would make it simpler. You made this amount… you pay this amount. Why does it have to be so complicated? * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/5 "2000-03-12T00:17:00Z")
Ducky, I am soooo envious! 1. you have your taxes done. 2. you’re getting a new stove. When were you expecting us for dinner? (Actually, this crew is thrilled silly with Cheese Doodles, jerky and dip–but if you’d _want_ to whomp up a real meal…well–_party at Ducky’s place!!!_) It’s slightly better now that tax forms are available online, but it is so $&@\*&% aggravating when you get partway down the form and find out you have to fill out another obscure form to get a subtotal. Finding a paper copy of the form and instructions is impossible, and the IRS “help lines” (HA!) are about as accessible as the Mars probe. Every time they simplify this, the worse it gets. And the worst is the crawling paranoia. The spectre of an IRS audit nests on your shoulder like a damned vulture. So much fun, sweating, swearing and punching calculator buttons, muttering “hope to hell I’m doing this right” while visions of zombie accountants dance in your head. Hey, non-US Dopers, is it this dreary elsewhere? Veb ---
**Author:** ![JustDucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f14d63/32.png) [@JustDucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustDucky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/6 "2000-03-12T00:23:00Z")
I guess if they made it more simple, we wouldn’t think they are really smart like they want us to. 😉 Sorry, I’m not much help. I got the Census in the mail today and was looking it over, I think it could be less complicated also. Or at least less time consuming. Good luck Ducky ---
**Author:** ![JustDucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f14d63/32.png) [@JustDucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustDucky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/7 "2000-03-12T00:27:00Z")
Veb, LOL! Having enchiladas tonight, come on over! 😃 You too PCW! * * * Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/8 "2000-03-12T00:41:00Z")
Sounds great! Should I bring the margaritas? I am gonna need alcohol after all this math! * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![JustDucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f14d63/32.png) [@JustDucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustDucky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/9 "2000-03-12T01:08:00Z")
😉 Are you sure margaritas are gonna be strong enough? Maybe we should drink some shots and I’ll help ya with your taxes. 😃 Boy, talk about a mess! They **would** have to be really smart to figure your forms out after we got thru with’em. LOL! * * * Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/10 "2000-03-12T01:24:00Z")
Most Definitely! The IRS has a hard enough time trying to translate mules into dollars and cents. * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/11 "2000-03-12T01:55:00Z")
Yes!! SDMB Tax Help! The math is shaky but we have maragritas, nachos, enchiladas–I make a coupla salsas that have reduced strong men to quivering, slavish jelly–and we haven’t even gotten to the pork rinds, hot sauce, shooters and Turbo Tax. Gotta love this place. It’s so…so…to the gut basic! (Don’t anybody hand me tequila w/ lime and salt and say “Schedule C”: I turn into an animal.) Never had this much fun at tax time, Veb ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/12 "2000-03-12T02:04:00Z")
Old joke about the new simplified tax form: 1. How much money did you make last year? 2. Send it to us. * * * “You have no choice but to be impressed.” Tony Rothman and George Sudarshan _Doubt and Certainty_ ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/13 "2000-03-12T02:44:00Z")
I say we 86 the tax stuff and bring the whole enchilada over to silo’s hello thread for a welcome to the board party. =) * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/14 "2000-03-12T02:45:00Z")
Did I hear someone say “Schedule C”? Damn yer eyes woman! Another perfectly good evening in paradise ruined by a stray reference . . . (If you need paper copies of the forms, most public libraries have a binder with master copies of nearly every form and instruction sheet available for copying.) I should also mention here that maybe I should do the cookin’ – not that pan-fried margaritas in tequila/lime sauce don’t sound appetizing . . . Dr. Watson “Lying to the IRS is not only a crime, it’s a duty.” ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/15 "2000-03-12T14:01:00Z")
This was the best year I’ve ever tax wise. I got to claim Head of Household plus my 2 kids. Got back about $4500 between State and Federal! I still think it’s stupid that the forms are so complicated. I always have to go to H&R Block because I’m afraid of f\*\*king something up and getting audited! * * * That John Denver’s full of shit man! ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/arrrghhh-taxes/14625/16 "2000-03-12T15:01:00Z")
**JustDucky** writes: > [@](#): > > There are pretty inexpensive programs you can buy to do all that for you. One is called Tax Cut. I know there are others but I can’t think of them. Another is Intuit Turbo Tax (the Intuit line of software is now owned by Quicken), which I find eminently suitable. Shop around; YMMV. **PurpleCrackwhore** complains: > [@](#): > > thanks… unfortunately I have a Mac and the software programs written for taxes are pretty lame. That debate is going on over in GD 🙂 > [@](#): > > I just wish they would make it simpler. You made this amount… you pay this amount. Why does it have to be so complicated? Well, that’s another GD topic. To simplify and sanitize it for MPSIMS, the tax code is used as a tool of social policy rather than just as means of raising revenue (Want to promote home ownership? Make mortgage interest dedeuctible). A good tax program, and keeping the received items such as W-2s, 1099s, and the like (and _knowing where they are_; I was held up for a week this year waiting for two 1099s that, in fact, I had already received and that were in my (physical) tax folder), will do just fine for even a moderately complex tax return (as a rule of thumb, if your tax return is _so_ complicated that a good software package won’t handle it, you can almost certainly afford to have it done for you). Don’t sweat too much over audits, either. _Don’t_ try to conceal large amounts of money from the IRS (not, of course, that _you_ would :)), _don’t_ try to squeeze out every last penny in deductions (nothing will trigger an audit faster than a Schedule A that looks like _War and Peace_ in the original), _do_ have a printed copy of your tax return and supporting documents with you if get audited, _do_ pay up if looks like you’ve made a mistake (OTOH, be willing and prepared to go to the mattresses if it looks like the mistake is on the other side). * * * “I don’t just want you to feel envy. I want you to suffer, I want you to bleed, I want you to die a little bit each day. And I want you to thank me for it.” – What “Let’s just be friends” _really_ means