# Art what point does genuine admiration/interest constitute as brown-nosing? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402 "2011-12-07T19:20:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/1 "2011-12-07T19:20:22Z")
I’ve been occasionally accused, jokingly (mostly) of brown-nosing in my professional career because when I like something, I don’t hesitate to say it. For example, if someone is a really good trainer, or maybe puts on an excellent presentation, I will tell them. Why not? I’m sure they like positive feedback; everyone is so eager to give negative feedback. My enthusiasm is genuine and I express it so, but people seem to assume I am just bullshitting to get some attention or whatnot. This hasn’t exactly stopped me from complimenting or admiring things about people I like but I do tend to do it more in private now. I just don’t believe merely complimenting what people do is brown-nosing but the selfsame people who don’t know how to take a compliment often think there are no real compliments, only bullshitters. So - what’s the fine line? How do you know when you’ve crossed it? And do you give compliments when it’s deserved or do you refrain? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/2 "2011-12-07T19:35:52Z")
It’s the difference between expressing genuine admiration and faking it for brownie points. It seems like a pretty broad line to me, but others might not be able to tell the difference. I’m wondering if those same people might be really cynical. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/3 "2011-12-07T19:40:34Z")
As long as you do it to people equally regardless if they are above you, below you, or don’t work on your team at all, it isn’t brown-nosing. It is brown-nosing when it is selectively given only to those that have an influence on your job. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/4 "2011-12-07T19:53:05Z")
Yes, I do it to everyone I admire, but of course the accusations of brownnosing only come when I do it to people above me in the foodchain. And this I don’t get either. if some upper management sort does something that comes across really well to us peons, why the hell shouldn’t I thank him for doing something constructive instead of wasting my time? ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/5 "2011-12-07T20:20:13Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Yes, I do it to everyone I admire, but of course the accusations of brownnosing only come when I do it to people above me in the foodchain. And this I don’t get either. if some upper management sort does something that comes across really well to us peons, why the hell shouldn’t I thank him for doing something constructive instead of wasting my time? I think the issue, which you addressed briefly in your OP, has more to do with doing it privately vs. doing it publicly. It sounds like you’re started doing it privately, which I think is a good thing. It accomplishes your goal but prevents people from getting the wrong idea. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/6 "2011-12-07T21:00:50Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I just don’t believe merely complimenting what people do is brown-nosing… Agreed. I’ve had people brown-nose me, I’ve had teachers/bosses who expected brown-nosing, I’ve given and received genuine compliments - and the brown-nosing and the real compliments are completely different. Most brown-nosers gush in a way that isn’t very coherent and may even be illogical; body language or phrasing will tell you they’re lying. Are the accusers coworkers? It may be more of a case of them being envious that you dare open your mouth In The Presence than genuinely thinking you’re brown-nosing. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/7 "2011-12-07T21:07:16Z")
Say, you went to an art exhibition of your boss, who recently developed a passion for art, but you, having studied art, honestly didn’t think he or she was any good at art: how would you greet him or her at the show? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/8 "2011-12-07T21:14:52Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > Say, you went to an art exhibition of your boss, who recently developed a passion for art, but you, having studied art, honestly didn’t think he or she was any good at art: how would you greet him or her at the show? Good question. I would try to give constructive cricitisms if I could. I never come right out to anyone in a professional capacity and say “You suck” - I don’t burn bridges. Worst comes to worst I’d feign polite interest - but I’d do that with people at my level, too. And hell, I’d probably cheer her on for actually getting an art exhibition and following her passion! It’s not my place to tell people they aren’t good at something, and the example you pick is particularly egregious in that it’s art and one person’s art is often another person’s garbage. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/9 "2011-12-07T21:38:26Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Good question. I would try to give constructive cricitisms if I could. I never come right out to anyone in a professional capacity and say “You suck” - I don’t burn bridges. Worst comes to worst I’d feign polite interest - but I’d do that with people at my level, too. And hell, I’d probably cheer her on for actually getting an art exhibition and following her passion! It’s not my place to tell people they aren’t good at something, and the example you pick is particularly egregious in that it’s art and one person’s art is often another person’s garbage. “Art” example because that’s what I encounter the most; but you can plug in other appropriate situations for the purpose of the question. BTW I learned any criticism at the show, no matter how constructive, is no-no; avoiding the issue does not work; only praises will not backfire. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/art-what-point-does-genuine-admiration-interest-constitute-as-brown-nosing/605402/10 "2011-12-09T03:43:03Z")
I’m all for giving kudos where they’re due but I think the doing it publically part is where you look like a suck up. I’m not working as I’m back in school, but for the professors I love, I always send a private email _after my final grades are already posted_ to thank them and tell them what I value about the education I received under them. To do so any sooner would be inappropriate in my eyes and reek of suck-up. That said, complementing a peer or underling publicly is always good. Not only does it make the other person feel good and valued, but it increases collaboration if you know people are going to give you credit for what you do rather than steal credit for themselves.