# Article on Dating Warning Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840 "2013-04-04T17:38:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/1 "2013-04-04T17:38:56Z")
[http://www.mydailymoment.com/love/intimacy/5\_web\_sites\_that\_should\_never\_pop\_up\_in\_your\_man\_s\_browser.php?page=1](http://www.mydailymoment.com/love/intimacy/5_web_sites_that_should_never_pop_up_in_your_man_s_browser.php?page=1) The article starts by saying: > [@](#): > > Trust is an important part of any relationship. If you don’t have faith in your boyfriend or husband, the connection you share can’t help but feel hollow. > … > While it isn’t ideal, peeking at his Internet history may give you some insight into the true character of the man of your dreams. It then lists 5 types of websites that could be a warning sign and discusses. This, to me, is the hilarious part: > [@](#): > > You’ve been dating your life partner for a while and think you share a mutual trust. But everything changes in an instant when you discover he’s been browsing through sites that enable him to spy on your computer activity. Now that goodwill is out the window. > > The fact that he’s taken this extreme step to watch you online when you don’t have a clue he’s around brings up other disturbing questions. Where are his ethics? Does he have any? And if he is going out of his way to monitor you so secretively, what kind of information is he holding back from you? I’m going to go ahead and offer this without comment. Thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/2 "2013-04-04T18:14:38Z")
Uhhh, Woman/Women logic. Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/3 "2013-04-04T18:26:08Z")
What’s the sexist version of Godwin’s law? Whatever that is in one. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/4 "2013-04-04T18:31:50Z")
I got caught up in the _Dangerous Sex Positions_ ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/5 "2013-04-04T18:34:01Z")
Irony ain’t just a river in Egypt? Wait… I mean… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/6 "2013-04-04T19:21:14Z")
I thought it was usually the woman who did the snooping. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/7 "2013-04-04T20:50:22Z")
Isn’t this called “trust but verify?” ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/8 "2013-04-05T21:03:10Z")
It is my opinion that if you feel the need to snoop, there’s already an issue with the relationship, whether or not snooping finds anything. It means that whoever is doing the snooping doesn’t trust the other person. That said, the desire to snoop may arise for legitimate reasons, but just giving in to it without thinking about it doesn’t help. Consider why your trust isn’t where you think it should be, think about what it takes to fix it, God forbid you talk to the person, and then make a decision. Responding to your own lack of trust, which may or may not have legitimacy, with an absolute violation of the other person’s trust is just a recipe for disaster. The idea that an article first suggests, while not something I approve, isn’t terribly uncommon. But the idea that they suggest a woman should snoop, then take it as a warning sign if she finds out he’s been snooping on her, well… yeah, neither of you trusts the other, but somehow it’s worse because of his methodology or he started it first. That said, I don’t think the ideas are necessarily bad thoughts, it’s possible you accidentally come across a particular site because it’s been visited before or it comes up in the search history or whatever. Sure, if a guy is visiting lots of dating sites, that’s probably a sign that there’s a problem, but why are you looking at that sort of stuff without any other signs that something is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/9 "2013-04-05T21:27:06Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Uhhh, > > Woman/Women logic. > > Nuff said. God I hope that’s a joke. Literally everything about that article is awful. Literally. The ideas, the writing, the typing, the pagination, the unprecedented number of “One DUMB [noun] that fixes wrinkles/fat/joint pain/lupus” ads, everything. Your quote juxtaposition is good, but I also enjoyed this: > [@](#): > > But if you feel pornography shouldn’t be part of your man’s browser, use this topic as an excuse to have an open discussion about what you want from this relationship. It might take your bond in a new and important direction. I.e., him dumping you for someone sane. (I know in my life, nothing has said “stable, healthy relationship” like snooping on a guy’s computer for an \*excuse \*to discuss when he’s going to propose already!) I also enjoyed the author informing me that the way I should handle this is by drawing my own conclusions. Thank goodness they walked me through that! ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/10 "2013-04-05T21:37:39Z")
Complaining about shitty content on a website called “[mydailymoments.com](http://mydailymoments.com)” is kind of like building your summer home inside a truckstop bathroom and complaining that the locals are always sticking their cocks through your mailslot, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/11 "2013-04-05T21:53:34Z")
Timely advice! I had just been wondering if it was a good thing or a bad thing if your man is looking at gay porn and dating sites and shit, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out the answer. Now if only they’d tell me whether it’s good or bad if your boyfriend has been googling “how to kill your girlfriend”. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/12 "2013-04-05T22:02:11Z")
So, “spy sites” are a red flag that the man is undateable. As in, signs that he’s doing _the exact same thing that you are doing right now by snooping through his internet history without your knowledge or submission_. …I’m becoming increasingly more vindicated in my decision to die alone. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/13 "2013-04-05T22:35:34Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > …I’m becoming increasingly more vindicated in my decision to die alone. So you just gave up? Why? Do you think this article represents even a minute number of women out there? Or that women are more likely than men to do this? This is a stupid article for stupid people. Find a smart person, treat her right, and you won’t have these problems. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/14 "2013-04-06T00:01:57Z")
My browsing history is completely open to my Wife. And I told her that Imagefap is a work related site for clinical data, and she has never felt interested enough to go there. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/15 "2013-04-06T00:02:08Z")
If I were a woman, and if I found that “my man” had porn in his history, I’d consider dumping him. Not because I would hate porn, but because he should’ve learned to clear his damn history at 12 like the rest of us, and so it says things about his smarts. :dubious: A guy’s answer to being confronted about any of these is “it’s just research for a book I’m writing, baby!” aka the Pete Townsend defense. **DrFidelius** : how does she feel about the folder named “boring work stuff” that’s 200 Gb? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/16 "2013-04-06T00:35:15Z")
So what happens if you snoop on your lover and find out they haven’t been snooping on you? Now that they’ve proven themselves trustworthy, you should realize that they don’t deserve to have a sneaking rat like you in their life. So step aside so they can find somebody better than you. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/17 "2013-04-06T00:58:21Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > If I were a woman, and if I found that “my man” had porn in his history, I’d consider dumping him. Not because I would hate porn, but because he should’ve learned to clear his damn history at 12 like the rest of us, and so it says things about his smarts. :dubious: > > A guy’s answer to being confronted about any of these is “it’s just research for a book I’m writing, baby!” aka the Pete Townsend defense. > **DrFidelius** : how does she feel about the folder named “boring work stuff” that’s 200 Gb? “Boring work stuff, really” is kept on the removable hard drive. For security purposes. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/18 "2013-04-06T03:37:07Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Article on Dating Warning Signs Why would anyone date a warning sign? Is that even a real fetish? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/19 "2013-04-06T03:39:10Z")
No one’s asked the obvious question yet? What if your wife snoops and finds hundreds of links to pages with titles like “POLL: Would you spay or declaw your giant tarantula?”, “Is _TubaDio_ OCD or BFD?”, “Can’t help pitting ugly atheist women owning guns”… and “Why did my _Pranking My Wetback Skank Intern_ thread get closed?” I live in dread of the day my wife gets bored enough to check my history, and realizes how much time I’m spending on what she would charitably call ‘wasting time’. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840/20 "2013-04-06T05:23:11Z")
Everyone say hi to Mrs Digs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/article-on-dating-warning-signs/654840.md?page=2)