# Artoo vs. Twiki **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 10, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435 "2005-02-10T18:01:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/21 "2005-02-11T04:39:44Z")
[Twiki] beedy - beedy - beedy - beedy R2 sucks [/Twiki] ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/22 "2005-02-11T04:50:24Z")
[Huer] Twiki! What on earth do you mean? [/Huer] [Deering] Don’t I look good in a skintight jumpsuit? [/Deering] ---
**Author:** ![sweepkick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@sweepkick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweepkick)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/23 "2005-02-11T05:36:36Z")
I don’t recall… but if Twiki has opposable thumbs… R2 is hosed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/24 "2005-02-11T06:15:22Z")
You are all bastards, for now I have a mental picture of R2 chasing Twiky around with that cattle-prod like attachment out and shocking Twiggy in the butt occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/25 "2005-02-11T12:14:33Z")
And I have a mental picture of a young Erin Gray in a tight jumpsuit. mmmmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/26 "2005-02-11T13:16:41Z")
> [@sweepkick](#): > > I don’t recall… but if Twiki has opposable thumbs… R2 is hosed. Twiki does have opposable thumbs, but his hands are rather primitively articulated. It’s almsot as though his designers just put some poor shlub in a tiny suit of armor or something. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/27 "2005-02-11T14:56:51Z")
R2 is a badass. Ignoring the flight capability, he’s clearly capable of climbing stairs, as well as both desert and forest terrain maneuvering. No idea how, but he does it. He even powers through swamps, provided there’s a certain lack of swamp beasts. Hell, he kicked that critter’s tail, didn’t he? Built in tazer and buzzsaw, too, as I recall. And yes, he pretty much _is_ swearing through the original trilogy. Listen to 3P0’s reactions. He _might_ survive Marvin, as he has shown enough willpower to tell people to buzz off. Maybe. Marvin’s clearly smarter, but R2’s more stubborn. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/28 "2005-02-11T15:02:32Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > And yes, he pretty much _is_ swearing through the original trilogy. Listen to 3P0’s reactions. R2 has Tourette’s. :eek: Who’d thunk it? Of course, listening to C3PO’s jabber for a few decades might be the actualy cause… ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/29 "2005-02-11T15:08:13Z")
No contest. It’s Twiki. A little known fact is that Twiki’s main offensive weapon is his "[helmet" shaped head,](http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/twiki.jpg) and it’s built for ramming. Ramming long and hard, over and over. Plunging forcefully into his opponent’s armor again and again relentlessly until a crack appears, and then hammering that area until it widens and splits wide open. R2 would be a pile of debris after Twiki’s pounding assault. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/30 "2005-02-11T17:56:46Z")
Twiki rams R2, Twiki gets electrocuted as the main force of the blow slides But the stairs thing has made me think of the Daleks. (Who were shown floating up a set of stairs in one episode, though not, I’ll admit, in others.) What would happen if we threw Daleks into the mix? Would Marvin have any effect on them? Could R2 hack them? And, astro, is there any particular reason to put quote marks around “helmet”? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/31 "2005-02-11T18:52:57Z")
Twiki’s bulbous helmet is nothing compared to Artoo being slid rhythmically into the astromech socket of a X-Wing. Hey, Artoo’s armored, too. He’s taken blasterfire, and he’s fully spaceworthy. Heck, after taking 220 to his main data interface, he just needed a circuit breaker reset before he was up and running again. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/32 "2005-02-11T19:16:01Z")
R2 would take Twiki anytime, anywhere. Period. And anyone who doesn’t agree can bite my shiny metal ass! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/33 "2005-02-11T19:47:34Z")
Homer: Hey robot, get your fat metal ass down here! Bartender: First of all, I’m not a robot, and second, I got this metal ass in 'Nam, defending this country for lazy jerks like you… now what’ll ya have, partner? ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/34 "2005-02-11T19:49:30Z")
> [@Lazlo](#): > > And I have a mental picture of a young Erin Gray in a tight jumpsuit. > > mmmmmmmm. “Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think” -lv ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/35 "2005-02-11T19:54:48Z")
There’s nothing wrong with either bot that a cigarette-box sized chunk of C4 couldn’t cure. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/36 "2005-02-11T20:01:06Z")
> [@LordVor](#): > > “Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think Off-think” Bwahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435/37 "2005-02-11T20:06:45Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > There’s nothing wrong with either bot that a cigarette-box sized chunk of C4 couldn’t cure. Amen, brotherbot! I say we give’em each a quarter and point’em toward a Suicide Booth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/artoo-vs-twiki/289435.md?page=1)