# As a father, am I allowed to do whatever I want on Father's Day? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165 "2006-05-25T14:36:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/21 "2006-05-25T19:06:19Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] No, it’s not “guy” day, it’s “Father’s” day. You’re only a dad for (at least) one reason - Be a dad and spend _your_ day with the reason _for_ the day. [/QUOTE] Can’t - I threw the broken condom out years ago… ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/22 "2006-05-25T19:14:22Z")
Eh. My parents both refused to celebrate either assigned day, and I tend to feel that each individual family ought to be able to sort out whether it is appropriate in their personal family tradition/whether it is possible to meet everyone’s emotional needs for Dad to compromise and play nice with the family or for him to go fishing. I can’t imagine how public opinion would come into it. Just because a day is decreed to be a holiday shouldn’t dictate how families choose to spend it. (I miss Mothering sunday… we got cake!) ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/23 "2006-05-25T19:32:55Z")
Observing Fathers’ Day by taking a break from your wife and kids is like celebrating Arbor Day by burning down a forest. There is room for gifts that are for Dad to enjoy on his own, much like Mom might get a gift certificate for and appointment at the day spa/salon/Mommy-pampering plant of her choice. But these gifts should be enjoyed another time, when the contrast between “how much do we love Dad?” and “how far away can he get?” isn’t quite so stark. Fathers’ day means your chores get done by someone else (not merely deferred to be done by you another day), that your kids get to tell you they love you in full vibrant Crayola color and give you a gift that says at the very _least_ how much candy you’re better than, that just this once you can pretend bacon has as much fiber as oat bran and that marshmallow and nuts render ice cream healthy, and that you get to fall asleep in front of the ball game without someone changing the channel until it’s over. Fathers’ Day means playing basketball with one kid and crazy eights with the other and losing at both because you’re laughing too hard to concentrate much on the game, and it means a day when you don’t have to argue with or instruct or correct or punish _anybody_. Fathers’ Day is a day right smack in the middle of the year when you can stop being so angry and afraid that you don’t know what you’re doing, that you’re not good enough or smart enough or responsible enough to care for and guide these small fragile people who so foolishly trust and believe in you. In this one day, their faith and love is there for the taking, so that Dad’s strength and confidence can be replenished and he can be Dad for another year. Shame to miss it, really. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/24 "2006-05-25T21:33:29Z")
Wow, **King of Soup** , you just really nailed it. Thanks. :wipes away a tear: ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/25 "2006-05-25T22:19:13Z")
Hey, if the family decides that what they want more than anything is for Dad to go fishing that day, then great. Get up early, make a Dad breakfast, pack a special lunch, fill the cooler with beer, send him off with some worms, and have a dinner ready that works with or without the fish he’s caught. And if after repeated hints, the family decides Dad can do that some other weekend but on Father’s day there’s special family stuff planned. Well, then, Dad had best suck it up, put a smile on his face, and say “there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing in the whole wide world than going to the park with my family.” ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/26 "2006-05-26T04:38:55Z")
You CAN do whatever you want to do on Father’s Day. Your choices are 1. What the wife wants to do & 2. What the kids want to do Which of these do YOU want to do? hh ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/27 "2006-05-26T13:24:28Z")
[QUOTE=Uncommon Sense] Should I, as a Father of four with a current wife, be able to do whatever I want on Father’s Day? [/QUOTE] No. It’s _not_ all about you. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/28 "2006-05-26T14:03:25Z")
[QUOTE=CookingWithGas] No. It’s _not_ all about you. [/QUOTE] I know, read post #15. Unless you meant the universal _you_, then nevermind. But still read post #15 anyway 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/29 "2006-05-26T14:26:37Z")
**Mother’s Day** : A day for doing whatever Mother wants to do, a day for her to kick back and take a break. **Father’s Day** : A day for doing whatever Mother (or kids) wants to do, a day to spend with the family. I would love to get up early and try to play 36 holes of golf, come home tired, sweaty, a little buzzed but extremely happy. Never going to happen though, oh well. ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/30 "2006-05-26T15:16:34Z")
At the house of Schen, Mother’s/Father’s Day involves reduction/elimination of parenting duties. What that actually means is no diapers, no making meals, no cleaning up after or chasing after small children. What a joyous occasion! I don’t need a card to make me happy unless it’s hand-drawn by my 4 y/o. I do however crave some solitude and silence. If just for a moment… ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/31 "2006-05-26T20:45:30Z")
After **The King of Soup** ’s post, this is probably superfluous, but… Father’s Day is about being a father. It’s not about getting a day off. How can you be a father away from your family? How would you have felt as a child if your dad had elected to be gone for the day? To directly answer the question: as a father, you are allowed to do whatever you want _ **as a father** _ on Father’s day. If spending the day on a lake away from your kids is “fathering” to you, that’s pretty damn sad, but it’s your life. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/32 "2006-05-26T22:58:56Z")
[QUOTE=nd\_n8] **Mother’s Day** : A day for doing whatever Mother wants to do, a day for her to kick back and take a break. **Father’s Day** : A day for doing whatever Mother (or kids) wants to do, a day to spend with the family. I would love to get up early and try to play 36 holes of golf, come home tired, sweaty, a little buzzed but extremely happy. Never going to happen though, oh well. [/QUOTE] Part of the discrepency here is that _historically_ (and often currently, too) mom tends to shoulder a disproportionate amount of child rearing duties, so Mother’s day was about giving her a break. While _historically_ dad is gone much of the time at work, Father’s day is chance to _reconnect_ with his family. My $0.02 ---
**Author:** ![Kiminy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Kiminy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiminy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165/33 "2006-05-28T05:07:02Z")
My husband spends a lot of time with his/our kids. We do things together fairly frequently, usually without any kind of special occasion to make it happen. For that reason, in our house, Father’s Day is a day where he gets to decide what he wants to do, with us or without us. (Well, most of the time, anyway. I gave birth to our first child on Father’s Day, so he didn’t have much say in what he did then.) When I was growing up, I had a workaholic father who spent very little time with his kids. Father’s Day was a day for him to spend with us–when he didn’t have to work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-father-am-i-allowed-to-do-whatever-i-want-on-fathers-day/358165.md?page=1)