# As a gamer: why am I a loser who is wasting his life away? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923 "2014-05-21T13:59:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/41 "2014-05-21T18:31:24Z")
I enjoyed the Nerdist article on Wired, pretty funny and at least a little insightful. (yes, I realize it’s several years old) [http://www.wired.com/2011/10/mf\_hardwickexcerpt/all/](http://www.wired.com/2011/10/mf_hardwickexcerpt/all/) I’m not sure if I’ll grab the book, but he’s a somewhat interesting guy. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/42 "2014-05-21T18:33:18Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Oh really? There’s a big difference between a person that says, “I play video games” and a person that says, “I’m a gamer”. A lot of people that are specific about it tend to invest a lot of time and energy into the activity. I tend to agree. Now, usage may vary among groups, but the only folks I know who call themselves “gamers” are what apparently are known as “hardcore gamers” in other communities. Somebody who plays video games casually is not someone I’d call a “gamer,” nor someone that I know that self-identifies as a “gamer.” “Gamer,” in my understanding of the term, is not simply “one who plays video games.” It’s someone for whom video games are important in their identity. It’s kind of like “foodie” in that sense. Lots of people enjoy going out to eat. Lots of people enjoy fine foods. Most of those people are not “foodies,” though. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/43 "2014-05-21T18:34:09Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I agree that the stereotypical teenager who spends hours continuously in front of a ‘shoot -em up’ game, eating junk food and not bothering about hygiene, studying or getting a job gives a bad impression of gamers. > > However I’d like to present a gamer success story - why it’s me! :o > > I’ve played a LOT of chess, bridge, AD+D and computer games. > But I always made sure I passed my exams and got a job. I tore myself away from gaming for some decent meals and a bit of exercise. > > Then I struck gold. 🆒 > For the last 27 years, I’ve taught full-time at a private school. My subjects are: > > - chess > - roleplaying > - computer games > > So there you have it - a life full of fantasy, science-fiction and games. And it’s gone jolly well. 😃 I just had to stop here to say that you’re my hero 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/44 "2014-05-21T18:43:44Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > That applies both to the person with a house full of plates from the Franklin Mint and the person who has a handful of tchotchkes. That’s certainly not true. I wouldn’t consider someone with a handful of tchotchkes a collecter, and I doubt many people would. To really be a collector you have to put some serious time and effort into it. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/45 "2014-05-21T19:11:29Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > I dunno. Let’s say you got a job, and your new boss sends out a message to the team announcing the new employee. There may be a sentence about your personal interests, so the new co-workers can get to know you a little better. Which of the below would kinda be considered a “red flag” to your co-workers?: > > “Today we welcome Bob Bobsworth to the team as our new analyst. Bob has extensive experience in the areas that are important to us, and has a great track record for getting things done. In his spare time, Bob is interested in photography, Thai cuisine, traveling, running, soccer, and playing video games.” > > Hmm, which one does not quite fit? While “gaming” has become a more accepted type of hobby recently, it can also be seen as a face tattoo - not something you would really want to advertise if you want to be taken seriously. Wow, Bob sounds like a cool guy. Now if you substituted “watching TV” instead of “playing video games” that would send up a red flag. When’s the last time you heard about a study showing surgeons who watch TV perform better surgery? Never. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/46 "2014-05-21T19:15:45Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > WHAT. A. LOAD. OF. BULLSHIT. > > Did you look at the percentages of the population that play games that I listed above? Video games are more popular than all of the other activities you listed. > > It’s alright to get old, I think there are some clouds for you to yell at over there. Same percentage probably watches porn, but surprisingly no one brags about that either. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/47 "2014-05-21T19:58:45Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > WHAT. A. LOAD. OF. BULLSHIT. > \ > It’s alright to get old, I think there are some clouds for you to yell at over there. Lighten up, Francis. You’re the only one yelling in here. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/48 "2014-05-21T20:16:31Z")
> [@Sean\_Factotum](#): > > Lighten up, Francis. You’re the only one yelling in here. Fun fact, using all caps doesn’t actually mean I’m frothing with rage in front of my monitor and screaming as I type. And honestly, someone who is trying to peg something that ~65% of the population does regularly as a “red flag” is absurd. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/49 "2014-05-21T20:28:48Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Fun fact, using all caps doesn’t actually mean I’m frothing with rage in front of my monitor and screaming as I type. And honestly, someone who is trying to peg something that ~65% of the population does regularly as a “red flag” is absurd. It isn’t that they do it, it is that they are self-describing using that term. I’m pretty sure nearly 100% of guys masturbate … but I would not put it on a resume as one of my “hobbies”, nonetheless. 😃 I’m not ashamed of it, but it sends entirely the wrong message. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/50 "2014-05-21T20:35:22Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > Here’s how I see it: > > There are only three things in your life that should consume more than two hours a day of your time: … spouses… You can have more than one? Why didn’t anyone tell me? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/51 "2014-05-21T20:37:35Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I’m pretty sure nearly 100% of guys masturbate … but I would not put it on a resume as one of my “hobbies”, nonetheless. 😃 I’m not ashamed of it, but it sends entirely the wrong message. To who? I’m 32 years old. I supervise the teenagers who are employed at my library to shelve the books. I also (obviously) have an interest in video games. I have hired teens who share my interest because it’s nice to able to work with people who you have something in common with. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/52 "2014-05-21T20:47:41Z")
> [@Earth001](#): > > So I am 20 and I got a lot of interest like: science fiction, fantasy, movies, tv shows, technology, computers, and video games. But whenever I mention I like video games I always seem to get negative insults regarding my gaming hobby. Here we are a decade in the 21st century and I still get a lot of people saying negative comments about gamers and video games. Funny thing is when I mention that I like movies everyone seems to think its sweet and innocent that they like film. If I’m a hardcore film buff that’s perfectly acceptable. But if I tell people I like video games than I’m a loser with no life or wasting my time. Why does society have a negative view for video games? But other forms of entertainment don’t carry this sort of thing like movies, books, or in some cases watching TV? So [giving up on video games](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=717226) only lasted a couple of months, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/53 "2014-05-21T20:51:58Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > I’m pretty sure nearly 100% of guys masturbate … but I would not put it on a resume as one of my “hobbies”, nonetheless. I’m not ashamed of it, but it sends entirely the wrong message. > > To who? I’m 32 years old. I supervise the teenagers who are employed at my library to shelve the books. . Heh, on initial read it looked like you were saying you employed teenagers with a mutual interest in masturbation! :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/54 "2014-05-21T21:06:48Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Heh, on initial read it looked like you were saying you employed teenagers with a mutual interest in masturbation! :eek: 😃 That’s how I read it too. But what I’m also reading is that one is a ‘gamer’ (versus someone who plays video games) and wants to be in the company of like minded people, certainly put it down. It will self-select for you. For the record, I like to play computer games, but I, in no way, shape, or form, consider myself a ‘gamer’. If you see the terms as interchangeable, then get up on the mountain and stake your claim. Not that this thread is statistically valid, but I think you can see you won’t have as many people up there as on the mountain that views them differently. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/55 "2014-05-21T22:19:51Z")
If we’re going to get all gatekeepery about the term, I’m going to go ahead and suggest that a “real” gamer needs to be interested in more than just _video_ games. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/56 "2014-05-21T22:30:48Z")
I see “gamer” a little like “movie buff” or “bookworm.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/57 "2014-05-22T23:28:11Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > I see “gamer” a little like “movie buff” or “bookworm.” That rings right to me. I like video games, so I might identify as a “casual gamer,” but just identifying as a “gamer” sounds too strong to me. In my crowd, most people play video games from time to time, but only a small segment would identify as “gamers” and I would only identify that same small segment as “gamers.” There’s nothing naughty or dirty about the word. It’s just that to use it to refer to anybody who ever plays video games is not an accurate representation of the way the word is used in my experience. Maybe in **Justin Bailey** ’s peer group, the word has a much wider meaning and simply means “one who plays video games,” but in my peer group, the meaning is closer to “one who plays video games as a real hobby, the way a movie buff, bookworm, or foodie would treat their respective interests, as opposed for casual entertainment/enjoyment.” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/58 "2014-05-23T15:11:58Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > That rings right to me. I like video games, so I might identify as a “casual gamer,” but just identifying as a “gamer” sounds too strong to me. In my crowd, most people play video games from time to time, but only a small segment would identify as “gamers” and I would only identify that same small segment as “gamers.” There’s nothing naughty or dirty about the word. It’s just that to use it to refer to anybody who ever plays video games is not an accurate representation of the way the word is used in my experience. Maybe in **Justin Bailey** ’s peer group, the word has a much wider meaning and simply means “one who plays video games,” but in my peer group, the meaning is closer to “one who plays video games as a real hobby, the way a movie buff, bookworm, or foodie would treat their respective interests, as opposed for casual entertainment/enjoyment.” THAT. IS. TOTAL. ABSOLUTE. POOPY. KAKKA. MUSHY. MUSH! Kidding, I totally agree with you. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/59 "2014-05-23T18:47:57Z")
As I see it, “gamer” is a word that it seems society hasn’t quite narrowed down whether it refers to someone who just enjoys games or whether it’s someone who has a pretty narrow focus or even an obsession with them. For instance, I play World of Warcraft and some people think that just playing it makes one a loser. I raid for about 9 hours a week, and yet I spend more time at the gym (about 10-11 hours a week), about equal time watch TV shows and films (typically about 2 new films a week, plus 2-3 hours of shows), and I spend considerably more time listening to, composing, and performing music, yet none of those other activities are looked upon as obsessive activities even though I spend as much or more free time on them. Part of that, though, is who one’s peers are. Most of the people who comment negatively about playing games are people older than me, typically mid-40s and up, as most younger probably have fond memories in their youth of playing Nintendo or whatever. There are also others who just see games as less cultured or whatever, but that’s just a matter of time, as pretty much every form of entertainment that is popular and well accepted now wasn’t some time ago. On the other hand, even as someone who sees gaming as not meaningfully different from another hobby or interest, as many of them, it can reach obsessive levels. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an ocassional gaming binge, perhaps when that one bad ass game comes out and you spend 10 hours playing it one Saturday, that’s one thing. But if you regularly binge game, and play for hours each night, perhaps forsaking other hobbies, social invitations, or obligations, it’s a bad thing. But that’s not something specific to games, it can happen with any other hobby. For instance, you find a new show and you want to catch up and spend a day on the weekend catching up on last season, that’s one thing, but if you regularly spend your weekend looking for any bit of anime or crime drama or whatever the obsession is, then it’s bad. Hell, I’d make the same argument about even generally socially acceptable obsessions. If you like to have an ocassional drink, or even go out and party and get a little drunk now and again, that’s one thing, but if you get drunk EVERY weekend, how is that really all that different from any other obsession, other than that it involves being social. To a certain extent, more non-social activities, like reading, films, TV, and games are becoming more acceptable, but we still tend to favor physical and social activities over non-physical and solitude activities. But still, there’s a bit more yet to come with that, and obsession, no matter what the activity, is still bad and needs to be tempered. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923/60 "2014-05-23T21:02:35Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > I see “gamer” a little like “movie buff” or “bookworm.” You don’t hear about too many movie buffs and bookworms neglecting their hygeine and starving nfants with their hobbies, though. I’m sure there are people who ARE addicted to movies and books, but these people don’t make the news in the way that gamers do. I have a coworker (a 50-something woman) who is a gamer. Whenever we talk privately (no one else is around), she’ll tell me about the games she’s playing. I’ve never played a game, so I’ve always got easy questions to ask her to keep the conversation going. I don’t think she’s a loser. Yet, I can tell she feels ashamed that this is her hobby, just based on some of the things she says. Yet other women don’t mind talking about their shopping adventures or their children’s latest antics or their favorite reality TV shows. IMHO, these things are just as superficial and non-productive. But because they are extraverted activities, they are more socially acceptable, I guess. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-a-gamer-why-am-i-a-loser-who-is-wasting-his-life-away/688923.md?page=4)