# "as an actress said to a bishop" - Brit Slang? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 15, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413 "2004-06-15T01:40:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/1 "2004-06-15T01:40:42Z")
What’s the pun created by adding “as an actress said to a bishop” onto the end of an otherwise normal sentence? Ricky Gervais uses this one a lot in “The Office,” but it doesn’t seem to translate. What does it mean? What’s it based on? Is it a bit like when someone adds “that’s what _she_ said” to the end of a sentence to make a cheap pun? ie., “Man, you should have seen how big that thing was.” - “That’s what _she_ said.” ---
**Author:** ![daffyduck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ec9cab/32.png) [@daffyduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daffyduck)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/2 "2004-06-15T01:57:56Z")
It basically means that whatever was said could be taken as a double entendre. It might help to know that “actress” is sometimes used as a euphemism for a prostitute in Britain (like in this phrase). ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/3 "2004-06-15T02:07:46Z")
Yes, what **Daffyduck** said, with occasional variants such as “as the bishop said to the choirboy”. See? You guessed right about “cheap pun” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/4 "2004-06-15T02:42:13Z")
Umm… the examples you are discussing are not, in any sense of the word, puns. A pun is a play on words, as in “He used to repair televisions, but his business went down the tubes.” See more examples [here.](http://www.punoftheday.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/5 "2004-06-15T03:03:48Z")
No, it’s not a pun. It is supposed to be the archetypal punchline for a risqué joke. Maybe an old British music hall thing. The idea is that if you say something that you then realise could be taken another, ruder way, you append “as the actress said to the bishop”, or a variation on that phrase. Sounds a little old-fashioned these days. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/6 "2004-06-15T03:04:32Z")
I used to read Leslie Charteris mysteries when I was young. He invented “The Saint.” Remember those? That tag line appeared frequently, in every book. “As the showgirl said to the bishop” was common as could be. From whom he stole it, I have no idea. His first “Saint” novel was 1928. Whether he used it in earlier works, again, I don’t know. It would be interesting to know if he “invented” the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/7 "2004-06-15T03:17:22Z")
My 74 year old mother uses this one all the time, after I’ve said something like: “This is really hard to fit in” “Can’t you do it more gently” etc etc ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/8 "2004-06-15T03:29:00Z")
I’ve never heard it before, but it sounds like the end of a Wellerism to me. Wellerisms are named after Sam Weller, a character in the _Pickwick Papers_ by Dickens who was fond of saying things like “Wery glad to see you, indeed, and hope our acquaintance may be a long ‘un, as the gen’l’m’n said to the fi’ pun’ note” and “Wery sorry to 'casion any personal inconwenience, ma’am, as the housebreaker said to the old lady when he put her on the fire”. There is no Wellerism about actresses and bishops in the _Pickwick Papers_ itself, but it is my understanding that it was long a common diversion to invent new ones. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/9 "2004-06-15T05:24:37Z")
Well, i don’t know much about the origin of the phrase, but i just wanted to add that it’s also heard with reasonable frequency in Australia. Unsurprising, i guess, given the country’s British origins and cultural ties. I recently used the phrase in front of my American wife for the first time, and she had never heard of it. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/10 "2004-06-15T05:30:39Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > Is it a bit like when someone adds “that’s what _she_ said” to the end of a sentence to make a cheap pun? ie., “Man, you should have seen how big that thing was.” - “That’s what _she_ said.” " … in bed!" ---
**Author:** ![scm1001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@scm1001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scm1001)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/11 "2004-06-15T08:13:49Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > My 74 year old mother uses this one all the time, after I’ve said something like: “This is really hard to fit in” “Can’t you do it more gently” etc etc 74 y old mothers should not be allowed to make rude jokes. Its enough to give one a complex :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/12 "2004-06-15T10:09:57Z")
Also worth emphasising that it’s an exceedingly old punchline tagged on to another’s unitentional double entendre. Much loved by lame office comics and others who believe themselves to be witty. Which is why it’s perfect for Ricky Gervais’ character. It’s supposed to be an embarrassingly bad. …as the actress said to the bishop. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/13 "2004-06-15T11:23:55Z")
My Dad says it, though the other way around: “…, as the bishop said to the actress”. He’s 76. I think it’s a generational thing. BTW, nobody loves a rude joke more than my 81 year-old great aunt. This is even more spectacular, given that she’s very upright and strict-looking, even compared to other women her age. She asked me about “Two Dogs” hard lemonade: “I hear it’s based on a naughty joke”. So I told her the joke, and I swear she was nearly in tears from laughing so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/14 "2004-06-15T13:04:03Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > She asked me about “Two Dogs” hard lemonade: “I hear it’s based on a naughty joke”. So I told her the joke, and I swear she was nearly in tears from laughing so hard. …and? You can spoiler box it if you think it’s uncalled-for, but I plead ignorance, and call on your obligation to fight same, please. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/15 "2004-06-15T17:34:44Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > …and? You can spoiler box it if you think it’s uncalled-for, but I plead ignorance, and call on your obligation to fight same, please. [Here ya go](http://www.amazinghumor.com/jokes/ethnicjokes/thenamingchief.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/16 "2004-06-15T19:19:20Z")
According to Brian Bolland (who drew a comics feature called “The Bishop and the Actress”), it starts out with fairly obvious jokes, like “It’s too big!” “Said the actress to the bishop.” It continues in this vein (“I paid too much!” “Said the bishop to the actress.”) and gets funnier as you apply it to less and less appropriate situations (“This takes a spanner, not an Allen wrench.” “Said the actress to the bishop”). So yeah, it should get pretty obtuse after a while. ---
**Author:** ![fortytwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f9ae1b/32.png) [@fortytwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fortytwo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/17 "2004-06-15T21:42:14Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > Also worth emphasising that it’s an exceedingly old punchline tagged on to another’s unitentional double entendre. Much loved by lame office comics and others who believe themselves to be witty. Which is why it’s perfect for Ricky Gervais’ character. > > It’s supposed to be an embarrassingly bad. > > …as the actress said to the bishop. Or …as the art mistress said to the gardener (which is what we used to say in my neck of the woods). ---
**Author:** ![sarcophilus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@sarcophilus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sarcophilus)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/18 "2004-06-15T23:23:00Z")
…or as the nurse said to the sailor. This version came from a recently deceased filthy, wry old workmate of mine. Although if someone did something stupid, Clyde would say, ‘they need f@#&ing up the arse like a chook’. I never quite got over that one to roll of my tongue, but by christ it made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/19 "2004-06-16T02:43:09Z")
“I don’t make 'em, I just deliver 'em,” says the Midwife to the Bishop. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413/20 "2004-06-16T06:44:42Z")
> [@Vetch](#): > > Or …as the art mistress said to the gardener (which is what we used to say in my neck of the woods). That particular line comes from a 50’s BBC radio comedy series called " Educating Archie" , spoken by a school-girl character played by Beryl Reid . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-an-actress-said-to-a-bishop-brit-slang/250413.md?page=2)