# As God Is My Witness, I thought Turkeys Could Fly! - A MMP
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Tags:** mmp
**Created:** [November 22, 2021, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756 "2021-11-22T06:46:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 12
### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2021, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/222 "2021-11-28T23:30:08Z")
I got my salad fix - we went to Cracker Barrel and I got the grilled chicken salad. **FCD** got the veggie plate. We ate healthy, and when we got home, Higgs ran to her daddy, so things are getting back to normal.
Time to launch max chillage mode.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2021, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/223 "2021-11-28T23:47:11Z")
We’re having TGD again. 🙂
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### Author:  [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/224 "2021-11-29T00:13:12Z")
Lemme guess **shoe** , ranch is two syllables? 😛
(says the woman who used to give her four year old native Texan a nickel to say _I can’t dance_. )
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### Author:  [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/225 "2021-11-29T00:14:30Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> Property because I quickly realized most folks here just _mmmmmelllt_ for it.
WTF auto correct?
I meant “probably.” Jeebus.
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### Author:  [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/226 "2021-11-29T01:04:27Z")
Evening all. Made the drive from Jonesboro, Ark. to N. Ali-bama in about 4.5 hours, 275 miles, without any problems. Weather this week has been great, both here and in Kansas and all along the route, plenty of sunshine and temperatures in the 50’sF. Roads were pretty empty today, must have beat the traffic by getting around the more populated areas in the early morning. Managed the whole trip on 5 Krispy Kreme donuts and a chocolate milk, just finished a Mickey D burger since I didn’t feel like getting fully dressed dining out in public. Suspect I’ll be sleeping soundly tonight.
**FCM** , glad Higgs is feeling better.
**nellie** , does she have any steps inside the house (2-stories?). I’ve been worried about my brother and SIL for years now, their new house is 1-story so that makes me more comfortable.
**Taters** , at least you can talk it over with your husband and reach a conclusion. Lots of folks can’t, I’m afraid. And I’ve never owned a gun in my life, so can’t comment on that.
**Nut** , glad you were able to get out and visit with friends.
**Sunny** , all animals are such starving waifs…
> [@JaneDoe42](#):
>
> One of my hobbies is if I walk into a store and hear those motion activated singing things going off is to pick every single one up and shut them off. If I have time, I’ll switch the batteries around.
I laughed. Good on ya!
OK, that’s all the energy I have. All y’all take care and I’ll catch you on the next MMP.
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### Author:  [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/227 "2021-11-29T03:31:00Z")
> [@nelliebly](#):
>
> Clearly you’ve been listening to the wrong people. Trust us! We’re the Dope! (Why doesn’t that sound right?)
Ummmm, yeah. I used to tell people “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” Oddly enough that didn’t reassure them nearly as much as it should have. (Actually, I was able to judge my audience and mostly they seemed to laugh because they thought my joke was funny. It wasn’t the forced laughter of someone who had to laugh because I had power over their food stamps.)
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> We don’t want a chainsaw sculpture.
Oh, I wouldn’t want one either. I was once able to sit open mouth in awe watching someone make an eagle once. T’was an amazing act of skill that took about half an hour.
I did find someone who did life sized otters (yes, I have no life, how did you guess) but it looks like she’s got a waiting list a couple of years long. How about a metal sculpture? Bronze casts are really popular out this way.
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> All artists suffer such criticism, right?
Most of my favorite artists died penniless and only found fame years later. At least I’m not penniless!
> [@Sahirrnee](#):
>
> I have no idea how many cats I’m feeding now.
As a rule of thumb, an adult cat will eat about a pound of kibble a week. Do you know about Chewy? When you are buying more than 50 bucks an order, shipping is free. Their prices are pretty good and they sell 40 lb boxes of kitty litter which is split into 4 10 lb bags that are so much easier to handle.
> [@Taters](#):
>
> He’s an older guy who used to live next door to daughter and son-in-law when they had their first house.
If you had said helped with their cars, I would wonder if you had met hubs. He finally stopped with the open carry bullshit when I pointed out that if I was going to shoot the place up, I would shoot the obvious threats first, but he still carries everywhere. He’s got his freedums, don’t you know? Besides, the safest place for his gun is under his control, ain’t nobody going to take it from him.
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#):
>
> I laughed. Good on ya!
I’m the customer, ain’t nobody better mess with my shopping experience! I also complain to a manager if the piped in music is too loud. The poor clerk standing under a loudspeaker playing the Santa in the bathing suit song for the 97th time in their shift deserves a little break at times. Of course, their PTSD has probably already kicked in and they are hearing the entire tape over and over in their heads until April.
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### Author:  [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/228 "2021-11-29T04:37:07Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> I assume OT is standard orthopedic practice
I can speak for orthopedic practice in Boston, Iowa and Nebraska: it is standard practice for a PT (physical therapist) to work with a knee replacement patient immediately (and nowadays immediately may mean within an hour or two of surgery) and for several weeks after surgery. They’ll teach you safe ambulation, exercises (do them, every single one every single time as many times a day as you are told to!), as well as safely handling stairs/steps, bathing or showering and getting in and out of a car. There is a lot of crossover with Occupational Therapy in practice, so it maybe an OT who works with you.
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### Author:  [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/229 "2021-11-29T05:04:01Z")
> [@Seanette](#):
>
> mint chocolate Twinkies
where might I find these so I can try them? and were they good?
No, I didn’t have to go to my cousin’s house … I almost went but in his usual manner was an asshole over a misunderstanding so I didn’t so it was a nice calm day munched on ham and turkey until yesterday …
Now we’re in Xmas decorating hell once again …
for the uninitiated remember those home magazines in the 50s-70s that were so decorated they were gaudy and stressed people out that in the 80s and 90s everyone went minimalist? Well since the aunt and family were barely above dirt poor until about 20 years ago she never had much on and for Xmas So she decorates in the style of all those 60s/70s magazines she read as a kid
in fact, when we used to stop by my stepdad would way “let’s get Xmas '75 over with”
Now, In the beginning, after mom passed and I joined in all my job was to be a hander and a gofer of things and play video games and babysit … Now I’m the only one left around to do any kind of helping and she is way past OCD on how it has to be perfect in every way…
hopefully, it goes as fast as it has been
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### Author:  [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/230 "2021-11-29T05:35:15Z")
> [@nelliebly](#):
>
> The running joke was that if the wind ever stopped blowing, everyone would fall over.
we have the same joke in our wind tunnel of a valley
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### Author:  [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/231 "2021-11-29T05:47:46Z")
> [@nightshadea](#):
>
> > [@Seanette](#):
> >
> > mint chocolate Twinkies
>
> where might I find these so I can try them? and were they good?
I got them at Walmart, I’m sure at least the bigger grocery places would have them too. I like them. YMMV.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/232 "2021-11-29T10:09:26Z")
> [@nightshadea](#):
>
> …so decorated they were gaudy
I refer to that as Elf Vomit, 'cause I’m classy like that. 😉
Been awake since a bit after 2. Dammit. It’s now just after 5. Dammit.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2021, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/233 "2021-11-29T17:20:08Z")
> [@nightshadea](#):
>
> > [@nelliebly](#):
> >
> > The running joke was that if the wind ever stopped blowing, everyone would fall over.
>
> we have the same joke in our wind tunnel of a valley
I used to have quite an angle riding my Enduro on 60th St. W.
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### Author:  [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2021, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-god-is-my-witness-i-thought-turkeys-could-fly-a-mmp/954756/234 "2021-11-30T04:11:55Z")
my cousins had a friend that was blown off his bike off the side of the cliff a little bit past vista point … he didn’t make it
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