# As I am now a mod... **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559 "2010-04-01T11:35:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/1 "2010-04-01T11:35:44Z")
As I am now a mod, I’m going to be bringing in some new rules; the first being that if you want to post here, you have to send me wine and chocolate. And concubines. Otherwise there are going to be all sorts of nasty things happening. Like hamster lashing. I can feel the power oozing from my fingertips. Be careful. Be very careful. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/2 "2010-04-01T11:41:50Z")
This will probably be my last post here before I’m banned, but I’m fed up with all these new Mods making up the rules as they go. Back in the good old days, you got a coffeecup. Now, it’s all wine and chocolate and hamster lashing. Where will it end? ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/3 "2010-04-01T11:44:08Z")
These aren’t new rules. I just couldn’t enforce them before. Me? Make something up? Never. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/4 "2010-04-01T11:46:02Z")
Gee… I’ve never seen _BANNED_ under my name before… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/5 "2010-04-01T11:46:41Z")
> [@NineToTheSky](#): > > I can feel the power oozing from my fingertips. Be careful. Be very careful. Umm…that isn’t “power” oozing from your fingertips, so we’re not bringing you jack until you put some latex gloves on. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/6 "2010-04-01T11:47:21Z")
> [@SoulFrost](#): > > Gee… I’ve never seen _BANNED_ under my name before… 😉 I told you I was all powerful. I’m a god. The world is my plaything. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/7 "2010-04-01T11:48:48Z")
I’m with **Czarcasm** … don’t say “oozing” and “plaything” in the same breath. And _do_ remember to breathe. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/8 "2010-04-01T11:48:58Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Umm…that isn’t “power” oozing from your fingertips, so we’re not bringing you jack until you put some latex gloves on. Whatever it is, it sure tastes good. Yum yum. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/9 "2010-04-01T12:46:29Z")
> [@NineToTheSky](#): > > Whatever it is, it sure tastes good. Yum yum. ew. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/10 "2010-04-01T12:47:12Z")
Great, now the boards are rife with anarchy.:rolleyes: now that the randoms are drunk with power. And booze. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/11 "2010-04-01T12:48:45Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Great, now the boards are rife with anarchy.:rolleyes: now that the randoms are drunk with power. And booze. > :dubious: And the stuff oozing from my fingers. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/12 "2010-04-01T12:49:34Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Great, now the boards are rife with anarchy.:rolleyes: now that the randoms are drunk with power. And booze. > :dubious: Just wine and chocolate. And that hamster thing… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/13 "2010-04-01T12:53:50Z")
We’re sure as hell not giving him a key to the private mod bathroom till the oozing fingertips thing clears up. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/14 "2010-04-01T12:59:04Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > We’re sure as hell not giving him a key to the private mod bathroom till the oozing fingertips thing clears up. I can make it come out of my toes instead. Would that help? (Actually, my party trick is to make it come out of both at once. But that does make a hell of a mess.) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/15 "2010-04-01T13:00:55Z")
Please, Oh Holy Warlord, make me Ghoul of the Day. I want some evil powers, too. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/16 "2010-04-01T13:01:06Z")
Ha ha, **twickster** ’s BANNED! Feel like a monkey in a petting zoo? Huh? Do ya? Like everybody’s pointing and laughing? Man, I think I’d rather shake the oozing… hand… of **Nine** than be BANNED. That must really suck! Hate to be you, Dude. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/17 "2010-04-01T13:39:09Z")
BANNED moderator sounds pretty cool, but even cooler would be Band Moderator. I could definitely moderate the SHIT out of some bands. _nods righteously_ ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/18 "2010-04-01T13:40:56Z")
Ooh, do I get BANNED now? ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/19 "2010-04-01T13:44:29Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > Ooh, do I get BANNED now? Hell no! You’re electric, we’re pneumatic. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559/20 "2010-04-01T13:47:52Z")
May I extend a hearty welcome and a gentle request for fun-loving participation in [Continental Drift Cam](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=557926) started Yesterday, 06:33 AM by N9IWP and gathering steam as a place to do some April Fool’s hanky-panky. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/as-i-am-now-a-mod/534559.md?page=2)