# Ascension on the Scifi channel - open spoilers as it airs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330 "2014-12-15T23:24:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/41 "2014-12-21T23:17:50Z")
So they teleported the black guy to a distant planet? Is that what happened at the end? ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/42 "2014-12-21T23:24:53Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > So they teleported the black guy to a distant planet? Is that what happened at the end? Him and the guy he was wrestling, presumably. And it was a binary system, so we are led to believe that it was Proxima, their original destination. It’s implied that the purpose all along was to create a child with this ability, and the project was successful. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but ok. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/43 "2014-12-22T00:18:31Z")
He looked pretty alone there, and as confused as the viewers were. The other guy was an Earth security guy who’d entered the ship to rescue the Star Child from the imminent destruction of the ship (which she had caused), so maybe her powers didn’t work on him. Gotta wonder how a series would take off from this - would it be about the surviving voyagers establishing a new civilization as per plan, using whatever the Star Child could wish into the Cornfield Planet? Or about the survivors of the ship’s destruction adjusting to life on Earth, like they would have seen in Galactica 1999 if they’d been watching that instead of ALF? Maybe Stokes and Lezzie the Lawyer on the run from Enzmann’s Men In Black? ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/44 "2014-12-22T02:02:24Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > Him and the guy he was wrestling, presumably. And it was a binary system, so we are led to believe that it was Proxima, their original destination. It’s implied that the purpose all along was to create a child with this ability, and the project was successful. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but ok. And they knew or suspected that pretending to send people on a long journey would create a Star Child? How? ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/45 "2014-12-22T02:25:49Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > …Maybe Stokes and Lezzie the Lawyer on the run from Enzmann’s Men In Black? Stokes is an alcoholic with zero knowledge of how to survive outside the ship and no way of contacting anyone who might be able to help him. He’s not going to last long, and the TC Group can just put out an alert saying he’s an escaped mental patient. And the lesbian honey trap _is_ one of the Men in Black. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/46 "2014-12-22T20:57:11Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > … they’d have to be 2 light years away from Earth by now, and meaningful radio transmissions are impossible even without that radioactive cloud behind them - which makes the problem of radiation storms in deep space something else those geniuses could have figured out. A point which bothered me is that meaningful radio conversations would be impossible even at much closer distances, but meaningful radio transmissions would not be impossible at all. Earth transmissions would be two years old, but it would certainly be useful information. And why not have Ascension send back status reports, even if it takes two years to arrive? I guess I missed something; was there a part about a “radioactive cloud” that was supposedly jamming the signal in both directions? The part of the series that killed credibility for me was the advanced technology and apparent abundance of manufacturing facilities. (Oh yeah, and more spaciousness than we have even on current submarines and airliners.) Granted, all the tv shows and old movies were on regular old-fashioned black and white tv screens. But all the computer monitors were color flatscreens. And removable cards with video recordings, gimme a break. As far as manufacturing, can anyone tell me where the wide variety of liquor bottles came from? I would SO love to see a list of the occupations held by those people. They did show us a small bit of their pork farm; now I want to see where they made all those 60’s era clothes. > [@tonyfop](#): > > The end just fucked away the whole concept for me. When Enzmann re-watched the tape of Aaron being teleported, it was like he was expecting that to happen. WTF teleportation through selective breeding? Yes, I do think that’s exactly what they were aiming for: teleportation through selective breeding. My problem with it is that they only know that the guy got teleported OUT. No one can possibly know where he arrived, or even IF he arrived. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/47 "2014-12-23T01:36:50Z")
Right, they don’t even know it was teleportation at all. For all they know Christa would’ve simply vaporized them. And Denninger told his wife that me made a note in the official log about the murder and sent a message to Earth back in part 1 so they are at least transmitting to Earth. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/48 "2014-12-23T02:23:10Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Stokes is an alcoholic with zero knowledge of how to survive outside the ship and no way of contacting anyone who might be able to help him. He’s not going to last long… I give him about the same likelihood of surviving as I do the show. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/49 "2014-12-23T15:57:04Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > The part of the series that killed credibility for me was the advanced technology and apparent abundance of manufacturing facilities. (Oh yeah, and more spaciousness than we have even on current submarines and airliners.) Granted, all the tv shows and old movies were on regular old-fashioned black and white tv screens. But all the computer monitors were color flatscreens. And removable cards with video recordings, gimme a break. As far as manufacturing, can anyone tell me where the wide variety of liquor bottles came from? I would SO love to see a list of the occupations held by those people. They did show us a small bit of their pork farm; now I want to see where they made all those 60’s era clothes. Agree on all of this, but you missed one of the stupidest tech claims in the series: that MRIs were invented by the crew of Ascension. Really, that was the point (in the very first episode) that I knew it wasn’t going to end well. So the writers really do believe that a small number of poorly equipped individuals can outproduce an entire planet. I’m sure they believe that LCDs, tablet computers and all the rest were invented in Ascension and brought out to the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/50 "2014-12-27T22:28:00Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > Agree on all of this, but you missed one of the stupidest tech claims in the series: that MRIs were invented by the crew of Ascension. Really, that was the point (in the very first episode) that I knew it wasn’t going to end well. > > So the writers really do believe that a small number of poorly equipped individuals can outproduce an entire planet. I’m sure they believe that LCDs, tablet computers and all the rest were invented in Ascension and brought out to the rest of us. “Science” as understood by dumb people, I guess. The concept of ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’ isn’t one they’ve ever heard of; they don’t realize that scientific/technological advancement happens in the context of a web of economic/political/sociological factors, playing against each other over time. To the _Ascencion_ writers, “science” is just a couple of guys in lab coats with flashing-light computers and a microscope–hey, what more would you need!!! ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/51 "2015-03-19T00:44:43Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Ascension? More like ASScension. I mean, Tricia Helfer has a nice ass, but that got a little gratuitous trying to fit it into every episode… Tricia Helfer was why I signed on to watching this mini-series and, for my money, she didn’t disappoint. Well worth the 6 hours of my life spent watching. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/52 "2015-03-19T01:14:00Z")
If they concluded the story with a TV movie or another miniseries, I’d watch just to find out what happens. I don’t have much interest in a full series. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/53 "2015-03-19T01:39:01Z")
Yeah, that’s [not](http://deadline.com/2015/03/ascension-not-going-as-series-syfy-1201389677/) going to happen. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/54 "2015-03-20T03:20:43Z")
I thought zombies liked brains, not asses. Though, as said, it’s a nice ass. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/55 "2015-06-28T16:18:51Z")
I just started to watch this on Netflix and am wondering whether to continue. This is a SyFy series? Where are the sharks? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/56 "2015-06-29T15:41:44Z")
Having not made it through episode 1, I have an asnwer to my question. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/57 "2015-06-29T16:50:30Z")
Gets better. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/58 "2015-06-29T17:57:33Z")
Not after Number Six’s nude scene, it doesn’t. And the ending is just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/59 "2015-06-30T00:22:40Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I just started to watch this on Netflix and am wondering whether to continue. It’s pretty bad, ends unresolved, is canceled(so no resolution ever). Not even worth a Netflix stream in my opinion. It was crappy. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330/60 "2015-06-30T00:27:53Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Not after Number Six’s nude scene… That’s why it should have been called Asscension. They hired her for her butt and they got it more than once. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ascension-on-the-scifi-channel-open-spoilers-as-it-airs/707330.md?page=4)