# Ashcroft declares all out war on the REAL threat to America! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 6, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645 "2004-04-06T23:42:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/1 "2004-04-06T23:42:06Z")
That’s right boys and girls. Not terrorism, heavens no, that’s a trifle. Not corporate corruption, not political corruption, no, Ashcroft has finally pinpointed the source of our problems: [Pornography.](http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bal-te.obscenity06apr06,0,3004361.story?coll=bal-home-headlines) And not the nonconsenting adult bits either, in the article the DoJ gleefully points out that watching an adult segment on HBO is a felony crime. So, that brings me to the debate, boys and girls: which cellblock are you going to try for? I’m wondering where I can find some people to hang out with for a few years, and I don’t want to wind up with the slackers who got picked up for smoking pot in the privacy of their own homes. Ten to twenty with a deadhead for a roomie just doesn’t do it for me. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/2 "2004-04-06T23:49:01Z")
My feel is that if it wasn’t for 9/11, Ashcroft would have gone full-speed against porn years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/3 "2004-04-06T23:59:19Z")
I think this is disturbing, too: > [@](#): > > In February, the Bush campaign honored Comcast President Stephen Burke with “Ranger” status, for agreeing to raise at least $200,000 for the president’s re-election effort. These people are absolutely insane. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/4 "2004-04-07T00:02:38Z")
Maybe this should be in the Pit? ---
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/5 "2004-04-07T00:06:39Z")
> [@SimonX](#): > > Maybe this should be in the Pit? Why? Are you saying that arresting people for the common activity of viewing readily available material shouldn’t be a topic of debate? ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/6 "2004-04-07T00:39:01Z")
Well, I’ll step out on a limb and say that this is going too far. Preventing consenting adults from watching other consenting adults? I don’t even see the logic behind this. I mean, other than, “Jesus hates you.” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/7 "2004-04-07T00:43:02Z")
Vote the bastards out. Vote the bastards out. Let that be your mantra. Ashcroft is the most frightening man to ever hold high public office in the United States. He absolutely **knows** what is best for you and for me because God damn well tells him so. GWB makes me nauseous; Ashcroft makes my blood run cold. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/8 "2004-04-07T00:48:23Z")
> [@laigle](#): > > … Ten to twenty with a deadhead for a roomie just doesn’t do it for me. You could do worse. Going into the slam, you almost certainly will. But this is all bluster, grandstanding for the Troglodyte Right. Things is looking a lot less rosy than about a year ago, time to mend some fences with the mouth-breathers, gotta get them _motivated_! Ashcroft is _just_ big enough, Attorney General, so that the message gets to the target, but the rest of us don’t pay much attention, 'cause its silly. But the Rightards do pay attention, because they _don’t_ think its silly, to them it seems entirely reasonable that filthy smut be a federal crime. They nod their heads in firm, thin-lipped determination and say “Sic 'em, John-boy!” Heck, why stop there? Isn’t the real crime not the porno, but the effect and behavior that results? The dread spectre of onanism, that saps the immune system and drains the moral reserves. You know, spanking the monkey, shaking hands with the unemployed… Hell, lets just put bars on the borders and lock ourselves in. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/9 "2004-04-07T01:06:05Z")
This constitutes the beginning of the rolling plan for the next seven months; Strategy One (of three): Pre-election pandering to the core vote ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/10 "2004-04-07T01:29:19Z")
> [@London\_Calling](#): > > This constitutes the beginning of the rolling plan for the next seven months; Strategy One (of three): Pre-election pandering to the core vote And the response needs to be in sound bites too. John Ashcroft wants to make watching HBO a crime. The reason he’s been so quiet is that some polls show him not all that popular with the general public, but I suspect you’re right - he’s loved by the core vote. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/11 "2004-04-07T02:03:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Ashcroft, a religious man who does not drink alcohol or caffeine, smoke, gamble or _ **dance** _… (emphasis mine) He is so religious he doesn’t _dance_!? Does anyone know if this is actually true? Man these guys gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/12 "2004-04-07T02:04:32Z")
My god, I just realized that quote describes my average Friday night. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/13 "2004-04-07T02:12:56Z")
> [@flight](#): > > (emphasis mine) He is so religious he doesn’t _dance_!? Does anyone know if this is actually true? Man these guys gotta go. Like I said… insane. Batshit insane. This administration is like a freaking cult. They have ranks like “ranger” and forbid dancing, all in one article? And people vote for this group? No wonder they don’t like gays - they don’t even like touching women O\_o ---
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/14 "2004-04-07T02:37:53Z")
> [@flight](#): > > (emphasis mine) He is so religious he doesn’t _dance_!? Does anyone know if this is actually true? Man these guys gotta go. Far as I can tell. Here’s a couple other sources I dug up on Google. I’m sure if someone wanted to do more than a half-ass job of it they could find more, but it’s late and I’m in a half-assing state of sobriety. [Village Voice](http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0310/hentoff.php) [AP](http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/John-Ashcroft-Profile.htm) He is a devout Pentacostal, and I’ve known a few of those in my day. Dancing isn’t the only no no. Strict Pentacostals don’t wear short pants, listen to popular music, go to movies, or pretty much do anything else that might give them the illusion of not being complete Taliban wannabes. In high school I knew a girl from a Pentacostal family who was not allowed to speak at home except in response to questions from her father. Needless to say, the religion didn’t stick. But hey, we are talking about the guy who had to put a sheet over the statue of justice at taxpayer expense because he went into conniptions at the sight of an artistically rendered nude. ---
**Author:** ![AZCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/97f17d/32.png) [@AZCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AZCowboy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/15 "2004-04-07T02:47:04Z")
The greatest threat to American today is religious fanaticism. And I ain’t talking no Islamic fundamentalists either. ---
**Author:** ![alaricthegoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@alaricthegoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alaricthegoth)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/16 "2004-04-07T03:54:01Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > My feel is that if it wasn’t for 9/11, Ashcroft would have gone full-speed against porn years ago. apparently he was going full bore against some brothel in new orleans which is why the fbi was too busy to run down the one thousand flight schools (one thousland, my,that is a big number, why, at ten schools per day, it would take three whole months–maybe 5 on government time, but what the hell, you could put five guys on it, and then it’s only one month.) ---
**Author:** ![alaricthegoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@alaricthegoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alaricthegoth)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/17 "2004-04-07T03:56:57Z")
Heck, why stop there? Isn’t the real crime not the porno, but the effect and behavior that results? The dread spectre of onanism, that saps the immune system and drains the moral reserves. You know, spanking the monkey, shaking hands with the unemployed… Hell, lets just put bars on the borders and lock ourselves in. [/QUOTE] with some synchronicity, the JAMA today announces what we’ve all intuited–an empty prostate is a healthy (and happy) prostate ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/18 "2004-04-07T04:31:24Z")
Didn’t Ed Meese try the same crap back in the 1980s? I seem to recall he had an unlikely ally in radical feminists, like Andrea Dworkin. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/19 "2004-04-07T04:37:25Z")
I seem to recall a PBC special about pornography that said 9/11 was directly responsible for a hold on the Bush administration’s crackdown on porn. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/20 "2004-04-07T04:43:09Z")
> [@laigle](#): > > But hey, we are talking about the guy who had to put a sheet over the statue of justice at taxpayer expense because he went into conniptions at the sight of an artistically rendered nude. Aw, shucks, that’s nothing. Before being tapped for attorney general Ashcroft lost the race for Missouri governor to a corpse. You know, Chicago may ask dead people to vote for the living. but they’ve yet to field someone so bad that the living would vote for the dead. Just how freakin’ bad do you have to be to lose to a dead guy? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645.md?page=2)