# Ashcroft declares all out war on the REAL threat to America! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 6, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645 "2004-04-06T23:42:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/81 "2004-04-09T23:05:56Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > My guess is that they are relying on no one to stand up and admit that they watch porn. (Shuffles feet…stands meekly) Hello. My name is **silenus.** I’m a conservative, and…I WATCH PORN! Lots and lots of porn. Especially the European stuff without all the fake boobage. Thank you. I feel so much cleaner now. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/82 "2004-04-09T23:17:52Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Hello. My name is **silenus.** I’m a conservative, and…I WATCH PORN! Lots and lots of porn. **Especially the European stuff without all the fake boobage.** I am liberal, and I am quite happy to discover a subject on which we share a common interest. 😃 Mmm, Pierre Woodman’s taste in all-natural breastages… Mmm… ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/83 "2004-04-09T23:36:24Z")
I like the European stuff, too. Oh how I hate fake boobage! And there’s this one particular European model… brunette… put together exactly the right way… my goodness she must be the most beautiful woman in the world! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/84 "2004-04-09T23:40:42Z")
Should we start a Pierre Woodman Appreciation thread in Cafe Society, or continue to hijack this worthy thread on the **Evil** that is Ashcroft? I may be conservative, but that “man” scares the snot outta me! Woodman’s “Castings” series…wow! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/85 "2004-04-10T01:12:27Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > Hello. My name is silenus. I’m a conservative, and…I WATCH PORN! Lots and lots of porn. Especially the European stuff without all the fake boobage. > > I am liberal, and I am quite happy to discover a subject on which we share a common interest. 😃 Would you two hijackers GET A ROOM? 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thingol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Thingol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thingol)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/86 "2004-04-10T01:26:38Z")
“On that Super Bowl broadcast of Janet Jackson’s there was also a commercial about a four-hour erection.” -George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/87 "2004-04-10T01:34:04Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > …Hello. My name is **silenus.** I’m a conservative, and…I WATCH PORN! Lots and lots of porn. Especially the European stuff without all the fake boobage… Oh, _now_ I get it! Gotta run tell **Werewolf of London** , I finally figured out what a Right wanker is! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/88 "2004-04-10T01:46:03Z")
😃 More of a libertarian wanker, actually, but it’s the thought that counts! ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/89 "2004-04-10T01:54:18Z")
/me looks at the topic again Why would Ashcroft declare war on himself? Man, not even Republicans will stand up for this guy… that’s a pretty sad state of affairs. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/90 "2004-04-10T03:31:17Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > Holy deepfried fish on a stick, that is the most spine-chilling website I’ve ever seen. Yeah, specially this little gem: > [@](#): > > God Almighty is lifting His protection > from us. Once that protection is gone, we are vulnerable > because we are a free society. :rolleyes: Pure evil, down to the cheesy web graphics _shudders_ Now if you´ll excuse me I´ll have my brain scrubed with steelwool. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/91 "2004-04-10T03:43:03Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > Pure evil, down to the cheesy web graphics _shudders_ I’ve always wondered - maybe a Christian Doper can riddle me this: Why in high hell do fanatical Christian websites almost universally feature horribly compressed 3d-rendered animated .gifs of completely random and stupid things? There HAS to be a stronger correlation between Christian sites using the 3d letters “e-mail” rotating around, compared to the rest of society. The Muslims make a much stronger presentation for themselves. (Don’t flame me for this) It almost makes you want them to win. Why the animated .gif of the plane flying around the planet? It doesn’t even link to anything. Why the cat sitting on a computer that appears to be on fire? Why the badly clipped butterfly? Why the psychadellic crosses that pulse and wriggle? Why is a picture of a waterfall flashing blue and white? Why in the gods’ names is there a WALKING CLOCK? Would SOMEONE please explain this to me? Is it to give sinners seizures? Are Christians immune to the effects of brightly flashing objects? Or are some of them just easily attracted to shiny things? I just can’t imagine Jesus being happy about being represented by something more assaulting on the eyes than a retired prostitute playing slots in Reno. I mean, he’d probably play it off good-naturedly and say it was very nice, then maybe make a suggestion about changing the layout to not KILL PEOPLE, but I just can’t see him appreciating this kind of support. It is like the KKK preaching… just counter-productive. I also can’t really imagine Jesus being too keen on the whole, “God agrees wholly with Pat Robertson” and “homosodomists are the devil’s sinners” and “God has forsaken us.” I don’t recall much from being a Christian, but I think Jesus was big on the whole forgiveness and love thing, not the fire and brimstone and hatred. Man, this makes my head hurt - and I don’t mean the animated .gifs… ---
**Author:** ![Club\_33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/92 "2004-04-10T06:58:35Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > I just can’t imagine Jesus being happy about being represented by something more assaulting on the eyes than a retired prostitute playing slots in Reno. I mean, he’d probably play it off good-naturedly and say it was very nice, then maybe make a suggestion about changing the layout to not KILL PEOPLE, but I just can’t see him appreciating this kind of support. I just have to say that this made me laugh so loud, I woke up my roommate. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/93 "2004-04-10T07:02:26Z")
As if conservatives don’t have enough dilemnas already, now they have to choose between voting for Bush in 2004 or keeping their smut. At least us Bush-bashers don’t have this problem. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/94 "2004-04-10T07:23:56Z")
From that \*uber-\*creepy Robertson/Falwell page: > [@](#): > > (My comment: Congress did NOT throw out Democrat Congressman > Gary Condit, who **probably** killed Chandra Levy. OUTRAGE) (bolding mine) Wow. Just wow. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/95 "2004-04-10T14:37:55Z")
> [@SimonX](#): > > It’s a worthy topic; however… > > IMHO, > There’s not a lot of debate going on here. A whole lot of griping though. > YMMV. Well, if I were to propose a debate on “Strangling kittens: fun or what?” the debate would be one-sided even here on the Dope, because my position would be pretty much indefensible. Same with Ashcroft. ---
**Author:** ![theR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@theR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theR)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/96 "2004-04-10T15:25:24Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > **vasyachkin** > [Moderator Hat ON] > > Do not advocate killing the president on this board, please. > > [Moderator Hat OFF] Actually, what he just did is illegal and if he hasn’t already I strongly request that mods or whoever has that power delete that post and any other that quotes it. It is obvious to us that he is not seriously advocating what he said, but the Secret Service takes all such threats seriously. It would be better for everyone if this whole thread was deleted. See the following link for a perfect example of what can happen: [kuro5hin.org](http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2001/12/20/211923/84) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/97 "2004-04-10T17:13:11Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > As if conservatives don’t have enough dilemnas already, now they have to choose between voting for Bush in 2004 or keeping their smut. > > At least us Bush-bashers don’t have this problem. 😉 Not that rough a decision…smut wins, hands…umm…down. Actually, if Kerry came out and said he supported the 2nd Amendment and the individuals right to own handguns, I’d switch parties in a second, even if he doesn’t have a clue on the economy! 😃 I hate Ashcroft that much. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/98 "2004-04-10T17:29:13Z")
I’m sure his door has already been battered down at 2:00 AM, he and his family dragged naked into the street, restrained with cable ties, stuffed into a black SUV with tinted windows and taken to Guantanimo bay (sp) I find that story difficult to believe. Is there anything to search on, his name or the name of the business? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/99 "2004-04-10T17:44:48Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > if Kerry came out and said he supported the 2nd Amendment and the individuals right to own handguns, I’ve heard him say “I deer hunt but not with an AK47”. I found he likes trigger locks and the Brady bill. Has he specifically said he is against our owning handguns? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645/100 "2004-04-10T19:14:48Z")
The thing that gets me on this war on porn thing isn’t so much that Ashcroft wants to get rid of porn, but that while there are people who want to crash planes into skyscrapers, and yet Ashcroft is wasting the government’s time and resources going after pictures of girls slurping on each other’s clitorises. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashcroft-declares-all-out-war-on-the-real-threat-to-america/238645.md?page=6)