# AshenLady.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469 "2011-02-07T01:02:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/141 "2011-02-07T21:04:53Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > You all realize that Ashenlady is an obese 40 year old non-Jewish man trolling the board, right? Well, that just makes him offering her his hand for the Wonder Twins Power Activate Fistbump Rape possible. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/142 "2011-02-07T21:05:13Z")
[QUOTE=Lobohan] You all realize that Ashenlady is an obese 40 year old non-Jewish man trolling the board, right? [/QUOTE] Perhaps. Can I be a muscular and really tall blond giant of a man instead of a fat, balding and fairly short Hispanic?? Oh, I want a REALLY big, um, c…uh, cape. Yeah, a really big cape! (I don’t know if s/he is a man or woman, but I’m thinking that s/he is more a nut than a troll…just a gut feeling) -XT ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/143 "2011-02-07T21:09:17Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > AshenLady, you and ZPG Zealot should form some sort of superhero team built on your amazing powers of being persecuted. I now am suffering from PTSD due to the mental image of this. Thanks. I’m suing you for forty quadrillion dollars and a puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/144 "2011-02-07T21:15:09Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I picture the Godess designing people. > > “OK, the one with the dick, I crank up the horniness vector up to eleven. Hmmm, maybe make the spine extra flexible so they can bend down and give themselves…oh, maybe not that good an idea. Horny to max, spine stiff, put the wobbly bits on the other one. Yeah, that works…” Didn’t the guy in _Clerks_ say his cousin broke his neck trying to do that? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/145 "2011-02-07T21:19:18Z")
“Paging Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy, please pick up the white Courtesy phone.” ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/146 "2011-02-07T21:21:24Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I"OK, the one with the dick, I crank up the horniness vector up to eleven. Hmmm, maybe make the spine extra flexible so they can bend down and give themselves…" I give you [the tutorial](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367027/). What? Purely scientific (and cultural) interest, I tell ya! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/147 "2011-02-07T21:25:27Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@elucidator](#): > > > > I picture the Godess designing people. > > > > “OK, the one with the dick, I crank up the horniness vector up to eleven. Hmmm, maybe make the spine extra flexible so they can bend down and give themselves…oh, maybe not that good an idea. Horny to max, spine stiff, put the wobbly bits on the other one. Yeah, that works…” > > Didn’t the guy in _Clerks_ say his cousin broke his neck trying to do that? It’s possible, the technical term for it is “autofellatio”. I note that the Wikipedia page on the act has an explicit photo of it. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/148 "2011-02-07T21:31:03Z")
> [@AshenLady](#): > > Young, dumb and full of cum!!! Your ad-libs are irrational. Then again, so are the rest of your posts, so there’s some kind of rational symmetry to your madness. Warped yet interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/149 "2011-02-07T22:16:53Z")
> [@AshenLady](#): > > It is politically correct to bad mouth Jews and approve of anti-semitism, And we all see just how well that worked out for our friend Mel Gibson. PC my ass, where do you come up with this bullshit? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/150 "2011-02-07T22:20:15Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I now am suffering from PTSD due to the mental image of this. Thanks. I’m suing you for forty quadrillion dollars and a puppy. Pretty serious punitive damages you’re asking for, there. Collecting would take some time. Would you accept the puppy in installments? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/151 "2011-02-07T22:40:33Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It’s possible, the technical term for it is “autofellatio”. Or informally, “NASCAR.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/152 "2011-02-08T00:40:25Z")
Uh, that IS an explicit picture! (You know you want to go look too. C’mon! Do it! Do eeeeeettttt!) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/153 "2011-02-08T01:00:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Uh, that IS an explicit picture! (You know you want to go look too. C’mon! Do it! Do eeeeeettttt!) It’s the true doggie-style. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/154 "2011-02-08T01:14:01Z")
I love the turn this thread is taking. Very appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/155 "2011-02-08T01:15:36Z")
Gevalt. And I speak as a jewish man in a small, isolated town in rural Ohio. In a county that is so christian that we can’t form a minyan in the entire county even if we include the ladies in it. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/156 "2011-02-08T02:56:26Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > Pretty serious punitive damages you’re asking for, there. Collecting would take some time. Would you accept the puppy in installments? I’d have to charge you interest, so you’d end up owing me an entire pack. It’s the Rent-A-Center approach. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/157 "2011-02-08T02:58:40Z")
I thank my fellow Dopers for eradicating my ignorance about the sexual practices of the abnormally flexible. Please be assured that my curiosity in this matter is entirely satisfied. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/158 "2011-02-08T03:05:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > (I’m guessing she’s even happier that the Steelers lost due to the fact that Antwaan Randle El is a _Muslim_. ;)) I thought he was Kryptonian until he failed to fly or exhibit super-speed. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/159 "2011-02-08T03:12:21Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Gevalt. > > And I speak as a jewish man in a small, isolated town in rural Ohio. In a county that is so christian that we can’t form a minyan in the entire county even if we include the ladies in it. Hey! You have plenty of trees. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469/160 "2011-02-08T03:35:16Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Gevalt. > > And I speak as a jewish man in a small, isolated town in rural Ohio. In a county that is so christian that we can’t form a minyan in the entire county even if we include the ladies in it. Good. Rural Ohio doesn’t tolerate Muslims, so you’d better run and hide. We don’t like _your kind_ around here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashenlady/570469.md?page=9)