# Ashley Olsen dating Lance Armstrong **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 1, 2007, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845 "2007-11-01T08:24:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/41 "2007-11-02T12:08:24Z")
[QUOTE=JRDelirious] Does anyone else call bogus on this formula-pulled-from-someone’s-tuchus criterion? [/QUOTE] Not me. That formula has actually been around for a while, and is generally accepted. I doubt I’ll be able to produce a geeky enough cite for the SDMB, but to demonstrate that it’s not confined to just that comic strip, see [here](http://dack.com/misc/optimum_age.html), [here](http://9rules.com/relationships/notes/3400/) and [here](http://lura.net/03/romance/). That last one is particularly funny considering it contains this quote: > [@](#): > > Doesn’t it creep you out when a thirty-five year old guy makes sexual remarks about the Olsen twins? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/42 "2007-11-02T12:45:05Z")
[QUOTE=El Perro Fumando] Lance is 36. Ashley is 21. 36/2 + 7 = 25, so it’s classified as creepy. Also, **NaturalBlondChap** wins. [/QUOTE] How does that formula work in reverse? Say a girl wants to find out how old a man can be before he’s too old to date. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/43 "2007-11-02T12:50:40Z")
[QUOTE=El Perro Fumando] Lance is 36. Ashley is 21. 36/2 + 7 = 25, so it’s classified as creepy. [/QUOTE] What we’re curious about is how many times 36 can go into 21. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/44 "2007-11-02T12:59:38Z")
I’ve never liked math, do we have any visual aids? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/45 "2007-11-02T13:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] What we’re curious about is how many times 36 can go into 21. [/QUOTE] And does the ol pants cyclops limit how many? ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/46 "2007-11-02T14:03:57Z")
So, just so I understand, one ball from testicular cancer = funny. What about mastectomies? Hilarious? ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/47 "2007-11-02T14:29:47Z")
[Quote=Skara\_Brae] Didn’t he leave his wife becuase she was blatantly cheating on him with another member of his team? That is what I heard…and can’t really blame him for that… [/quote] [QUOTE=SaharaTea] I never heard that. All I heard was that his head had gotten a little too big and he dumped the woman who bore him three kids and stuck with him through cancer. I think he started dating Sheryl Crow very soon afterwards. I do know that he and Sheryl Crow broke up right before she was diagnosed with cancer, and she has said that he was very supportive despite the circumstances. [/QUOTE] This was debated here before. Although she never mention having an affair, “Kristin says she’s been able to accept responsibility for the mistakes she made during her relationship.” You can interpret that however you want to. Whilst on Oprah, she made like it seem like they just drifted apart. Concerning Crow, she’s been known to go through many a guys as well. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/48 "2007-11-02T14:48:41Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] So, just so I understand, one ball from testicular cancer = funny. [/QUOTE] One ball = funny period. See also: Hitler, Adolph. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/49 "2007-11-02T14:55:03Z")
Meh. They’re both consenting adults. Famous people tend to meet other famous people, and sometimes sparks fly. I wish them both well. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/50 "2007-11-02T15:14:56Z")
It was interesting to me to find out that my husband started dating me just as soon as I fell into the non-creepy range for him. Since we’ve known each other all our lives (well, all my life anyway), I’ll have to ask him if he planned it. I feel sorry for the Olsen twins. They seem messed up, and sad. It was that feeling that made the Olsen/LA connection seem weird to me. Lance doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d want a sad little girlfriend. On the other hand, people that I think I know well (let alone some random celebrities) do some surprising things. Who can know what lurks in the mind of another? ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/51 "2007-11-02T15:34:23Z")
[QUOTE=StuffLikeThatThere] It was interesting to me to find out that my husband started dating me just as soon as I fell into the non-creepy range for him. Since we’ve known each other all our lives (well, all my life anyway), I’ll have to ask him if he planned it. I feel sorry for the Olsen twins. They seem messed up, and sad. It was that feeling that made the Olsen/LA connection seem weird to me. Lance doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d want a sad little girlfriend. On the other hand, people that I think I know well (let alone some random celebrities) do some surprising things. Who can know what lurks in the mind of another? [/QUOTE] The Shadow. “The Shadow knows.” ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/52 "2007-11-02T19:23:12Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] One ball = funny period. See also: Hitler, Adolph. [/QUOTE] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/53 "2007-11-02T19:28:20Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. [/QUOTE] Why do women look sexy in all stages of undress, and men in none? I think it is just how we are socialized regarding gender and the attributes of gender… ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/54 "2007-11-02T19:31:36Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. [/QUOTE] Women aren’t funny. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/55 "2007-11-02T19:35:39Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. [/QUOTE] In 1997, Florida pitcher Josias Manzanillo took a Manny Ramirez line drive to the groin. He wasn’t wearing a cup and ended up losing a testicle. His teammates gave him a new nickname - “Half a Man” zanillo. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/56 "2007-11-02T20:32:52Z")
[QUOTE=Lamar Mundane] In 1997, Florida pitcher Josias Manzanillo took a Manny Ramirez line drive to the groin. He wasn’t wearing a cup and ended up losing a testicle. His teammates gave him a new nickname - “Half a Man” zanillo. [/QUOTE] You’ve got to be kidding. What idiots! Well, pro athletes aren’t known for their maturity, are they. Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/57 "2007-11-02T20:47:55Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. [/QUOTE] One of them results in visible disfigurement. The other, by and large, does not. ---
**Author:** ![Tenebras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@Tenebras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenebras)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/58 "2007-11-02T20:50:43Z")
[QUOTE=Fiveyearlurker] Not being snarky. Just wondering why testicular removal is fair game funny, while breast removal is tragic. [/QUOTE] Because breast removal involves removing breasts, which more or less everyone agrees are totally awesome. A significant portion of the internet is more or less a gigantic electronic shrine to breasts. If Jesus were to return to Earth and promise us all eternal salvation if only we would speak his name and invite him into our hearts, he’d probably get on CNN or something. If Jesus were to return to Earth and promise us naked boobies any time we wanted, even if we were hung over and still in our underwear eating cereal out of the box and with only one sock on then… well we already have that, don’t we? So we’d probably spit in his face and scoff “Whatever, dog, Al Gore invented the internet, like, a hundred years ago!” By contrast, testicles are like prunes that hang around and occasionally make you cry like a little girl. A little girl who just took a line drive to the nuts and has been transported to a beautiful and far-away land full of nausea, strangled breathing, and the white hot pain of total and complete testicular focus. If you lose one, no big deal. Nobody ever really looks at them. At the very worst you tend to drift to one side while swimming naked but, over the diameter of the typical hottub, this error is approximately enough to divert you from your intended target of the left breast to the no less appealing destination of the right breast. (Win!) Also, it makes it that much less likely that you won’t have to pay child support to some chick you hooked up with after the bar that night when the condom broke. And, um, also you can ride a bicycle like a motherfuck. If I had better health insurance (read: if my insurance would cover elective genital mutilation) I’d be down at the clinic to have Lefty snipped off this afternoon. He always was a bit of a slacker, but after I get him bronzed and hung like an air freshener from my rear-view mirror, I bet I’ll get all the ladies. Chicks dig an interesting conversation piece; it gives them something to talk about while you look at their breasts. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/59 "2007-11-02T21:08:30Z")
How does all that make testicular removal funny? Because breast removal is worser? I’m pretty sure a woman would soon notice, upon exploration I mean. Neither is at all funny. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845/60 "2007-11-02T21:24:11Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] Neither is at all funny. [/QUOTE] Would it be funny if Lance Armstrong had three testicles? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-olsen-dating-lance-armstrong/424845.md?page=4)