# Ashley Todd, you're a cumstain on humanity **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 24, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409 "2008-10-24T18:48:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/1 "2008-10-24T18:48:16Z")
Fucking Republican bitch, volunteer for the McCain campaign, you tell the world you were attacked by a big black man who was only going to mug you, until he saw the McCain sticker on your car (or was it your McCain button? You kept changing your story), which is when he beat you, carved a “B” (for Barack, of course) on your ugly-assed face, and sexually assaulted you. You got lots of publicity and even a call from John and Sarah themselves. Boy, I’ll bet that made you feel all important and shit. [BUT YOU WERE LYING.](http://kdka.com/local/attack.McCain.Bloomfield.2.847628.html) I’d call you a douchebag but douchebags would be ashamed to be associated with you, because they perform a useful service. Cunts are nice things (I like mine) so I can’t call you that. Even cumstains have tiny little spermatozoa in them that aren’t hurting anybody, they’re just doing what sperm do. You’re shit. You’re rancid shit. You are nothing. I spit on you, and hope that others who come in contact with your sorry ass do too. Skanky-assed whore. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/2 "2008-10-24T18:52:29Z")
Daintily put. And I agree. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/3 "2008-10-24T18:53:34Z")
Oh, come on. Did anybody seriously believe this nutjob _at all_ since it made the news? How many people did she really have fooled? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/4 "2008-10-24T19:02:25Z")
How many people _anywhere_? I dunno. But I did notice the OP mentioning that she got a call from John and Sarah. I would **so** love to see the cite for that. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/5 "2008-10-24T19:07:55Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > How many people _anywhere_? I dunno. But I did notice the OP mentioning that she got a call from John and Sarah. > > I would **so** love to see the cite for that. [Here you go.](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/24/mccain-supporter-who-clai_n_137484.html) > [@](#): > > The report of the attack Thursday prompted the Republican presidential candidate and his running mate, Sarah Palin, to call Todd expressing their concern. Barack Obama’s campaign also issued a statement wishing Todd well and hoping the attacker would be swiftly brought to justice. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/6 "2008-10-24T19:11:44Z")
I’ve not commented on this story at all, because I was petrified that it might be true … however slim a chance that may have been … but now … Bwahahahhahahaaaa … what a fucking rube! A big, not only black, but _dark-skinned_ black man, 6 foot motherfucking 4, 200 pounds – I’m just suprised she didn’t conjure up a gold tooth or an official Crips membership pin on his lapel. I hope she gets shit heaped upon her wherever she goes. What a tool. This is without a doubt, the most entertaining election related story I’ve read yet. I seriously cannot stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/7 "2008-10-24T19:13:26Z")
Oh damn … almost forgot … must visit the freepers to see how they’re spinning this. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/8 "2008-10-24T19:17:48Z")
Please do. I’d be curious to know. I think what she did was despicable and I hope Michelle Malkin et al lands on her pointy little head with both stilleto-clad feet. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/9 "2008-10-24T19:19:00Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Oh, come on. Did anybody seriously believe this nutjob _at all_ since it made the news? How many people did she really have fooled? Well me for one. And how can we really tell she’s not been pressured to retract her previous statement because the police chief was getting kickbacks from the Obama campaign? Well let’s look at the facts. FACT: She claimed the attacker was 6 feet tall FACT: Barack is 6 foot 1 and a half. [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1682433/bio](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1682433/bio) FACT: She claims the attacker was 200 pounds. FACT: Barack can bench press 200 pounds. [http://www.politico.com/blogs/anneschroeder/0708/How\_much\_weight\_does\_Obama\_lift\_Whats\_his\_routine\_See\_below.html](http://www.politico.com/blogs/anneschroeder/0708/How_much_weight_does_Obama_lift_Whats_his_routine_See_below.html) (ok, so maybe he can lift 40 pounds 5 times, but whatever). FACT: The assailant was a black man FACT: Barack looks fully black at night. (I have no links to this because it’s hard to capture how black he is on film.) FACT: The attack took place at the exact same time that Barack mysteriously stopped campaigning and fell completely off the grid. There’s only one, inescapable conclusion to be draw from all this: Barack, in desperate need of even more campaign funds, mugged Ashley Todd. Then, seeing the campaign sticker/button, Barack went into a rage that McCain manages to score all the hot white chicks. Now he’s on the run from authorities which the main stream media refuses to even acknowledge because it would ruin his golden boy image. Not to worry though. OJ’s on the case. Word is he’ll track Barack down in no time. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/10 "2008-10-24T19:19:29Z")
A big black man in _Bloomfield_? Unless Pittsburgh demographics have changed radically, that’s the most unbelievable part of the story. Now, if you had told me that a scrappy little Italian waitress from Del’s noticed that she had a doggie bag from Lombardozzi’s in her hand, got mad, and carved a big script “D” into her face…_that_ I would believe. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/11 "2008-10-24T19:22:19Z")
Here’s a [DKos diary](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/24/144023/58/653/641092) on the subject you might enjoy… **Jack Batty,** you are a braver man than I by far–my hair trigger gag reflex precludes my venturing into Freeper territory, besides my Tyvek bunnysuit is at the cleaners… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/12 "2008-10-24T19:24:08Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > [Here you go.](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/24/mccain-supporter-who-clai_n_137484.html) Heh. Thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/13 "2008-10-24T19:28:03Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > [Here you go.](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/24/mccain-supporter-who-clai_n_137484.html) Actually, the Obama campaign’s response was a bit more measured: "“Our thoughts and prayers are with the young woman for her to make a speedy recovery, and we hope that the person who perpetrated this crime is swiftly apprehended and brought to justice.” No assumption of an attacker, just a reference to “the person who perpetrated this crime.” I can’t help but wonder if the ambiguity is deliberate. [quote=friedo] Lots. [http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/10/obama-supporter-mutilates-20-yr-old.html](http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/10/obama-supporter-mutilates-20-yr-old.html) [http://boards.historychannel.com/topic/Current-Events/Mccain-Supporter-Mutilated/520018738](http://boards.historychannel.com/topic/Current-Events/Mccain-Supporter-Mutilated/520018738) [http://boards.msn.com/MSNBCboards/thread.aspx?threadid=824034](http://boards.msn.com/MSNBCboards/thread.aspx?threadid=824034) [http://texashillblog.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/mccain-supporter-attacked-and-mutilated/](http://texashillblog.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/mccain-supporter-attacked-and-mutilated/) And tens of thousands more Google hits. Some who expressed early skepticism took a lot of heat, even from their “fans.” [http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/23/why-that-mccain-volunteers-mutilation-story-smells-awfully-weird/comment-page-1/#comments](http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/23/why-that-mccain-volunteers-mutilation-story-smells-awfully-weird/comment-page-1/#comments) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/14 "2008-10-24T19:33:29Z")
Well, I won’t link … too many different threads and Freep is too confusing: they just plaster shit all over the place. BUT … I give a minor bit of credit that all the responses (well, most) on the stories about her lying have been met with anything ranging from, “What an idiot, I hope she goes to jail,” to “What an idiot, just what the McCain campaign needed.” I did see one poster float the idea that she’s really an Obama plant doing a double end-around or something. But the real entertainment is the comments on the initial stories. All sorts of accusations about dirty filthy liberals. There is more than one mention of gunplay “lock and load” - “have 9mm will travel” etc. Like I said, I don’t really want to float links, but they’re easy enough to run across. There’s a big bold “Ashley Todd” keyword thingie right on the front page. This beats prime time television any day of the week. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/15 "2008-10-24T19:47:22Z")
Rush must be so proud. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/16 "2008-10-24T19:51:41Z")
So was her black eye self administered? ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/17 "2008-10-24T19:53:11Z")
It was obviously a bad makeup job. Obvious to me anyway. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/18 "2008-10-24T19:53:17Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I did see one poster float the idea that she’s really an Obama plant doing a double end-around or something. Seems Ms Todd didn’t use Occam’s Razor to cut herself up, huh? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/19 "2008-10-24T19:55:14Z")
Has anyone allowed for the possibility that she may be mentally ill, and not responsible? That’s some pretty bizarre behavior. ---
**Author:** ![gladtobeblazed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@gladtobeblazed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gladtobeblazed)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409/20 "2008-10-24T19:55:44Z")
The woman obviously needs psychiatric help. It seems a bit classless to ridicule her. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashley-todd-youre-a-cumstain-on-humanity/469409.md?page=2)