# Ashton Kutcher sticks his dick in his own asshole, fucks himself in new commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 28, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511 "2005-04-28T07:46:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/1 "2005-04-28T07:46:29Z")
In the commercial for Ashton Kutcher’s new movie, “A lot like love,” there’s a “comedic” scene in which he poorly serenades his love interest. As he finishes, a voice from her apartment complex yells, “You suck!” However, it’s blatantly obvious that the “you suck” voice is _also_ Kutcher’s voice, which for some reason INFURIATES me. Is it that he’s such an idiot? Well, yes, but there’s more - the subtle hint that Kutcher, in spite of putting forth an “aw shucks” facade, probably ego-mandated that he be the only person to critcize himself. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/2 "2005-04-28T08:06:34Z")
No offense to you **Freejooky** , but pitting Ashton Kutcher is sorta like pitting dirt or something (sorry too late to think of a clever comparison). I mean, does he even really register on anyone’s entertainment radar (well other than very young teen girls I guess) as anyone of any consequence whatsoever? He makes Keaneau Reeves look like Laurence Olivier by comparison. So, I guess, in a way, I can see why you’re perplexed at the “you suck” comment being his own voice, but not why you’d be infuriated. Sorry, I hope all that doesn’t sound snotty, it’s not meant to be, just a bit confused as to why someone of so little consequence matters to you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/3 "2005-04-28T08:07:24Z")
I like Ashton Kutcher nearly as much as anal polyps, but this is a pitiful pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/4 "2005-04-28T08:09:57Z")
Don’t they pay extras more if they speak? Maybe they were just saving some money. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/5 "2005-04-28T08:11:31Z")
Wow, that’s kinda harsh. And a little weird. I mean, what a thing to get worked up about. Not that I’m much of a Kutcher fan, but still… Anyway, I just watched the trailer over at Apple’s trailer site and I don’t think the man yelling “You suck!” was Kutcher. Yeah, it sounded a _little_ like him, and I guess it’s possible it was him, but I don’t think so. It’s not like he has the most distinctive voice in the world. I’m sure there are lots of people out there who sound similar. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/6 "2005-04-28T08:15:51Z")
Jeez, when I clicked the reply button, there was just the OP there. While I was typing, _three_ other people responded. Who knew there were this many Dopers up and posting at such an odd hour? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/7 "2005-04-28T08:38:12Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > I like Ashton Kutcher nearly as much as anal polyps, but this is a pitiful pitting. Absolutely and the title is needlessly offensive. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/8 "2005-04-28T08:49:46Z")
Though strangely erotic. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/9 "2005-04-28T09:12:56Z")
> [@MidnightRadio](#): > > Jeez, when I clicked the reply button, there was just the OP there. While I was typing, _three_ other people responded. Who knew there were this many Dopers up and posting at such an odd hour? Heh… Well for me, it wasn’t really so much of a “this hour” it was only about 11:30 or so my time when I posted it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/10 "2005-04-28T10:11:58Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Absolutely and the title is needlessly offensive. Are you crazy? The title is easily the best part. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/11 "2005-04-28T10:41:05Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Absolutely and the title is needlessly offensive. Obviously you haven’t seen the pictures. 😛 Yes, some men can actually do that. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/12 "2005-04-28T11:26:07Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Yes, some men can actually do that. :eek: There are some pictures that I just don’t want to see. That would be one. [sub]Although, my son and I did see the Ashton-Bernie Mac flick, so I guess anything is possible.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/13 "2005-04-28T11:58:17Z")
What’s stupid is that **freejooky** is making a pitting of something that he just “guesses” to be true. Sounds like fun. . .let’s all just make up stuff that pisses us off, call it “blatantly obvious”, and then pit it. That’ll be productive. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/14 "2005-04-28T13:15:31Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Obviously you haven’t seen the pictures. > > 😛 > > Yes, some men can actually do that. I’m having strange flashbacks to the SNL sketch where Will Ferrell manages to give himself a blow job. Excuse me while I go wash my brain out with carbolic acid. E. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/15 "2005-04-28T13:49:05Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Are you crazy? The title is easily the best part. Well, would have been if it had the obviously correct wording. This has bothered me since this morning. It would have been so easy to fix, too. It is so obvious that the title should have been “Ashton Kutcher sticks dick in own asshole, fucks self”. You’d think this guy doesn’t even _read_ The Onion. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/16 "2005-04-28T14:36:29Z")
It may be hot, but not with Ashton Kutcher. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/17 "2005-04-28T14:37:53Z")
I love that Kutcher recently promised to do an underwear ad if his new movie opened at the top of the box office (which it didn’t). Now _there_ is somebody who understands what acting and filmmaking is all about. (I think it was Anthony Hopkins who made a similar deal with _Red Dragon_… or maybe it was Burl Ives and _Desire Under the Elms_…). It’s been fairly well established that Ashton lies about his age; he claims to have been born in 1978 which means that he and his twin brother started 1st grade when they were about 2 and graduated at 13, or else he was born in 1974, kinda like his twin. Agreed, lame OP, but when is there not a good time to trash Ashton? (And something tells me his baby with Demi isn’t going to sweep the Nobel prizes, and it’s not just because she’s still smoking.) ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/18 "2005-04-28T14:39:05Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > No offense to you **Freejooky** , but pitting Ashton Kutcher is sorta like pitting dirt or something (sorry too late to think of a clever comparison). I mean, does he even really register on anyone’s entertainment radar (well other than very young teen girls I guess) as anyone of any consequence whatsoever? Well, he has a prominent place in Dan Savage’s fantasies… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/19 "2005-04-28T14:50:43Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s stupid is that freejooky is making a pitting of something that he just “guesses” to be true. It may be foolish, but sadly, it ain’t nothin’ new here. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/20 "2005-04-28T15:16:16Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Though strangely erotic. It really had me up to the “commercial” part and then I lost hope. I honestly thought the title was going to end with “stolen home movie.” ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511.md?page=2)