# Ashton Kutcher sticks his dick in his own asshole, fucks himself in new commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 28, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511 "2005-04-28T07:46:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/21 "2005-04-28T15:42:54Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Well, he has a prominent place in Dan Savage’s fantasies… Dan’s been over Ashton for quite some time, roughly corresponding with the time that the mainstream declared Ashton hot. I did not know Ashton had a twin brother. This opens up a whole new realm of strange and fascinating possibilities. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/22 "2005-04-28T17:20:38Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > I’m having strange flashbacks to the SNL sketch where Will Ferrell manages to give himself a blow job. > > Excuse me while I go wash my brain out with carbolic acid. > > E. There are even more entertaining pictures of men blowing themselves. Isn’t life _grand_? ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/23 "2005-04-28T17:32:07Z")
( I noticed that about the commercial using his voice too. ) ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/24 "2005-04-28T17:50:01Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > There are even more entertaining pictures of men blowing themselves. > > Isn’t life _grand_? Actually, I don’t think seeing any other men doing it would really bother me - but Will Ferrell? He’s the last person you’d ever want to see doing that :eek: . I like him to a point, but for the most part, he’s creepy. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing it from the yummy Gale Harold. I really must get Showtime back. E. (Who’s sleepy, so she’s running her mouth a little too much…) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/25 "2005-04-28T18:03:38Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Dan’s been over Ashton for quite some time, roughly corresponding with the time that the mainstream declared Ashton hot. > > I did not know Ashton had a twin brother. This opens up a whole new realm of strange and fascinating possibilities. Not only that, but even stranger-said twin has cerebral palsy and originally Ashton was pre-med because he wanted to go into medical research in order to help find cures for such illnesses. Who’d’ve thunk it? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/26 "2005-04-28T19:47:05Z")
I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/27 "2005-04-28T19:55:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. Apparently, Powers Booth’s character on Deadwood, Cy Tolliver, knows how to do it, ask him. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/28 "2005-04-28T20:05:39Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. I think you need to watch [this movie](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156182/). A guy fucks himself in the ass. There’s nothing I can type here that will do that scene justice. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/29 "2005-04-28T20:41:14Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Perhaps a male-version of an episiotomy incision could provide some logistical _ass_istance ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/30 "2005-04-28T20:59:25Z")
Okay I clicked on the link and it certainly wasn’t a film I expected to see! Is that what the reviewer is referring to when he says that something amusing happens to the lawyer?!? :eek: And as for me, I’m just here because of the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/31 "2005-04-28T21:21:51Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > It’s been fairly well established that Ashton lies about his age; he claims to have been born in 1978 which means that he and his twin brother started 1st grade when they were about 2 and graduated at 13, or else he was born in 1974, kinda like his twin. What do you base his lying on? The only thing I’ve seen about his schooling is that he was attending the University of Iowa in 1997 (he dropped out before graduating, ftr). I was a junior in college in 1997 and was born in 1977, so if he’s a year younger than me that’d make him a sophmore or there abouts the same year. To have been in college that year but born in 1974 would probably mean he started school late, took a year off before going to college, or was on the five-year plan… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/32 "2005-04-28T21:33:02Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > What do you base his lying on? The only thing I’ve seen about his schooling is that he was attending the University of Iowa in 1997 (he dropped out before graduating, ftr). I was a junior in college in 1997 and was born in 1977, so if he’s a year younger than me that’d make him a sophmore or there abouts the same year. To have been in college that year but born in 1974 would probably mean he started school late, took a year off before going to college, or was on the five-year plan… [1](http://www.nndb.com/people/768/000022702/) [2](http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2004-02-19#celeb7) [3](http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/features/entertainment/wabc_021904_entertainmentsstory_kutcher.html) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/33 "2005-04-28T22:20:12Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > Okay I clicked on the link and it certainly wasn’t a film I expected to see! Is that what the reviewer is referring to when he says that something amusing happens to the lawyer?!? :eek: Exactly. And the timing is absolutely impecable. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/34 "2005-04-29T00:00:26Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. Snort!! A man (errr girl?) after my own heart. It’s always the practical questions which intrigue me too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/35 "2005-04-29T00:13:07Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Well, he has a prominent place in Dan Savage’s fantasies… I thought Dan had been over Ashton for at least a year or so, now. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/36 "2005-04-29T00:46:43Z")
Young master Ashton had to say the phrase himself because nobody could be found to say the line without adding the word ‘fucking’ to the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/37 "2005-04-29T02:34:39Z")
> [@Mint Julep](#): > > ( I noticed that about the commercial using his voice too. ) Me, three. It particularly caught my attention because it sounded like something his character in That 70’s Show would shout. I just wondered why they would do that but I see no need for a pitting. I have nothing to add to the fucking oneself in the ass discussion except that it is probably easier to do than actually physically sticking one’s head up their ass. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/38 "2005-04-29T03:41:19Z")
Aww, is that all this thread was? I avoided opening it all day at work until I got home for that? I was hoping for something along the lines of the scene in Female Trouble where Dawn Davenport, played by divine, fucks her father, also played by Divine. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/39 "2005-04-29T03:45:37Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Though strangely erotic. Very strangely. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/40 "2005-04-29T03:55:46Z")
I wonder, if I had seen this thread before I got my e-mail notice about renewing my extortion for the SDMB, if I would have made the same decision… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511.md?page=3)