# Ashton Kutcher sticks his dick in his own asshole, fucks himself in new commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 28, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511 "2005-04-28T07:46:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/41 "2005-04-29T12:06:47Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. I remember seeing step by step instructions in some sex advice column years ago, maybe even Savage Love. The point was to kind of get a “semi”, stuff it back and under, tuck the tip in and then let it get hard. I recall the guy saying something to the effect of, “your dick is so excited and intrigued to be somewhere it knows it’s not supposed to be that it doesn’t take long once you get it in there.” I’m probably leaving out a couple steps so if you injure yourself going by what I wrote, don’t blame me. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/42 "2005-04-29T13:09:05Z")
But don’t the balls get in the way? In other anatomical anomaly news, my sister-in-law can pick her nose with her tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/43 "2005-04-29T13:29:10Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > > [@sturmhauke](#): > > > > I don’t see how you can fuck yourself in the ass. Even if you have the requisite length, once you get a stiffy you’re, you know, not so bendy. > > I think you need to watch [this movie](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156182/). A guy fucks himself in the ass. There’s nothing I can type here that will do that scene justice. I’m disappointed at the lack of self-anal penetration found at the other end of this link. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/44 "2005-04-29T13:41:57Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > But don’t the balls get in the way? Are you a woman? I mean, your ball sack is pretty flexible. You could easily swing the whole contraption to the side to make enough room for your wang to get to your wazoo. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/45 "2005-04-29T15:17:58Z")
(please, please don’t ask how I got talked into seeing this horrible movie) but anyways, I noticed also in the commercial after seeing it a dozen times that it was Ashton’s voice yelling “you suck”. It was strange that in the actual movie itself it wasn’t Ashton’s voice. And it was a lot quieter in the movie. My guess is that when they put that scene in the commercial it was hard to hear the original “you suck” comment so they re-recorded the “you suck” with Ashton’s voice and re-inserted it into the commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/46 "2005-04-29T16:23:15Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Are you a woman? > > I mean, your ball sack is pretty flexible. You could easily swing the whole contraption to the side to make enough room for your wang to get to your wazoo. Yes, I’m a woman. TMI Ahead (Though why I feel the need to use a TMI warning in a thread about Ashton Kutcher’s anal self-penetration, I don’t know): I think my husband has a relatively non-dangly scrotum. It’s hard for me to imagine moving it far enough to the side to…you know. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/47 "2005-04-29T17:43:24Z")
I really liked the title of this thread. I’m just so sorry it’s not an accurate title. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/48 "2005-04-29T18:09:50Z")
Talk about the decline of values and civility! Here we are, having a proper and circumspect discussion of a Hollywood airhead taking it up the Nixon, and somebody has to drag in scrotums! Disgraceful! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/49 "2005-04-29T19:36:35Z")
“Drag in the scrotums!” If that isn’t a Monty Python line, it should be. As for the OP, I dunno - I think Ashton is pretty harmless. He’s easy on the eyes, too. Mmm, Ashton and Keanu. In a clean, non-homo-erotic way, of course. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. What was I saying again? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511/50 "2005-04-29T20:06:18Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > There are even more entertaining pictures of men blowing themselves. > > Isn’t life _grand_? Link? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashton-kutcher-sticks-his-dick-in-his-own-asshole-fucks-himself-in-new-commercial/301511.md?page=2)