# Asian Massage Parlor - Cool if Women Go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002 "2012-08-09T21:19:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/1 "2012-08-09T21:19:17Z")
I say this as someone who has never been to one, but know what generally goes on with them. I have a female friend, happily married, but in recent conversations she has been somewhat interested in the same sex. Not to the point where she would cheat or have an open relationship or even engage in a sexual relationship, but she has wanted to explore her feelings. I thought it would be a great idea to take her for a drink or two and then bring her to an Asian massage parlor. I would just sit in the lobby and let her get a sensual massage. Is this something where women would be welcome, and receive a sensual massage, or is it limited to overweight businessmen and truckers? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/2 "2012-08-09T21:26:50Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I say this as someone who has never been to one, but know what generally goes on with them. > > I have a female friend, happily married, but in recent conversations she has been somewhat interested in the same sex. Not to the point where she would cheat or have an open relationship or even engage in a sexual relationship, but she has wanted to explore her feelings. > > I thought it would be a great idea to take her for a drink or two and then bring her to an Asian massage parlor. I would just sit in the lobby and let her get a sensual massage. Is this something where women would be welcome, and receive a sensual massage, or is it limited to overweight businessmen and truckers? I know a woman who tried to buy a gift certificate from such an establishment, falsely believing that it was a legitimate massage salon. She was told through the door to go away and that it was for men only. This is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/3 "2012-08-09T21:35:50Z")
By “sensual massage”, what exactly do you mean? ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/4 "2012-08-09T21:48:07Z")
I’m having a hard time making a connection between “Asian” and “sexual”. Are there no places that offer a Thai hot stone massage or something? OP says he “knows what generally goes on in them” – are you certain that’s not your imagination getting away from you? ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/5 "2012-08-09T22:21:40Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > I’m having a hard time making a connection between “Asian” and “sexual”. Are there no places that offer a Thai hot stone massage or something? OP says he “knows what generally goes on in them” – are you certain that’s not your imagination getting away from you? I know I’m not the most worldly guy in the world, but am I being whooshed? At many of these places, you pay up front for the massage, get rubbed down, and at the end, after they have aroused you, are willing to see the job to completion for a good tip. > **[Asian Happy Ending Massage: What It Is & My Very First Experience](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/obsession/asian-happy-ending-massage)** > > Asian happy ending massages are notoriously popular, but what are happy ending massages and what really happens there? Find out from this experience. Sorry, no disrespect intended, I thought it was something most people knew about. In the case of my friend, she would not be looking for a happy ending, that would be illegal anyway, but just something sensual. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/6 "2012-08-09T22:29:12Z")
I would call first and ask if they accept female clients. While there might be some parlors that are accommodating, it’s not something that you can expect to be well received on a drop-in basis. Most of the masseuses aren’t exactly in it for the joy of the game, and it’s obnoxious enough to spend all day jerking off random men without having to figure out to do with some lady who shows up without even a good idea of what she wants. A parlor might have someone willing to take that on, but she’d probably need to be scheduled. When I lived in China, I got massages weekly, and my favorite joint was a $1.00 massage parlor in a dark basement behind a rabbit butcher stall. I know this particular establishment offered happy endings in addition to serving regular clients. That said, I only once had anyone offer anything more than a straightforward massage, and even that amounted to no more than some strategic pressure against the table without any real contact. It’s generally assumed that women are not looking for sexual services. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/7 "2012-08-09T22:29:44Z")
Not all massage parlors offer this illegal service. Based on the way this thread has gone so far, you’d better make sure the place is an actually one of those quasi-brothels or you’re going to embarrass the hell out of some legitimate masseuse. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/8 "2012-08-09T22:45:15Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Not all massage parlors offer this illegal service. Based on the way this thread has gone so far, you’d better make sure the place is an actually one of those quasi-brothels or you’re going to embarrass the hell out of some legitimate masseuse. I would definitely find out, I get regular massages and know the difference. You bring up a good point though, if a woman is massaging a female client sensually, is it still illegal? I guess if it is considered sex for money it would be. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/9 "2012-08-09T23:06:05Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I have a female friend, happily married, but in recent conversations she has been somewhat interested in the same sex. Not to the point where she would cheat or have an open relationship or even engage in a sexual relationship, but she has wanted to explore her feelings. > > I thought it would be a great idea to take her for a drink or two and then bring her to an Asian massage parlor. I would just sit in the lobby and let her get a sensual massage. Is this something where women would be welcome, and receive a sensual massage, or is it limited to overweight businessmen and truckers? Aside from the potential logistical problems already mentioned in this thread, I think this is a terrible idea and that your friend would probably be offended if you mentioned it to her. It’s unlikely that she intended “explore her feelings” to mean “have sex with a prostitute” (especially since she said she didn’t want to cheat on her husband), and if she did then she could arrange things on her own without help from you. Frankly if a male friend made such a suggestion to me I would suspect that he just wanted to watch and was trying to trick me into bringing his porn fantasies to life. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/10 "2012-08-09T23:06:06Z")
I’m having a hard time making the connection between “she doesn’t want to cheat on her husband” and “I think she should go get a hinky quasi-legal massage.” First of all, I think you should butt WAY the fuck out of their relationship. Secondly, if she wants to explore, she needs to take the initiative to 1\> decide that’s want she wants, and 2\> discuss with her husband _in advance_ if and how she can do that within the bounds of their relationship agreements. Nowhere do I see an appropriate place for you to be in the middle of this business. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/11 "2012-08-09T23:09:08Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Frankly if a male friend made such a suggestion to me I would suspect that he just wanted to watch and was trying to trick me into bringing his porn fantasies to life. That’s really what it sounds like, isn’t it? _He’s_ going to take her for a “drink or two” (what, a date with a married woman??) and then to a ‘massage’ parlour. But it’s for “her” benefit (although it doesn’t sound like she asked him for this). Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/12 "2012-08-09T23:13:36Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > That’s really what it sounds like, isn’t it? _He’s_ going to take her for a “drink or two” (what, a date with a married woman??) and then to a ‘massage’ parlour. But it’s for “her” benefit (although it doesn’t sound like she asked him for this). Creepy. Well, she and I are close, but platonic, friends and I would not have it any other way (nor would she for that matter). We go out for drinks before without an issue. It’s not something she feels comfortable talking about with her husband, but because she and I are like-minded and open, she can talk to me about, and we have talked about, which is why I asked here. I won’t lie, there would be interest in hearing the details, if she was willing to share them, but I fully expect what would go on would be private and I’m good with that too, I just was helping her explore something that we’ve talked about in the past. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/13 "2012-08-09T23:17:29Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > I’m having a hard time making the connection between “she doesn’t want to cheat on her husband” and “I think she should go get a hinky quasi-legal massage.” > > First of all, I think you should butt WAY the fuck out of their relationship. Secondly, if she wants to explore, she needs to take the initiative to 1\> decide that’s want she wants, and 2\> discuss with her husband _in advance_ if and how she can do that within the bounds of their relationship agreements. > > Nowhere do I see an appropriate place for you to be in the middle of this business. I agree. If the genders were reversed, i.e. a married man expresses a desire to be with other men, SDMB members would be \*\*\*quite \*\*\*harsh on him. ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/14 "2012-08-09T23:27:52Z")
If I were your friend, I would find this extremely awkward. “Explore feelings for other women” does not mean “mess around with a prostitute”. Having her quasi-lesbian experience with someone she’s never met before, who is getting paid and possibly exploited, would be extremely stressful for most women. It would be better for her to bring it up with her husband and see if they can introduce a mutual friend into the equation. Even bringing home some random broad from a bar would probably feel less squicky. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/15 "2012-08-09T23:33:30Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I won’t lie, there would be interest in hearing the details, if she was willing to share them, but I fully expect what would go on would be private and I’m good with that too, I just was helping her explore something that we’ve talked about in the past. Unless she explicitly asked you to assist her in finding a “happy ending” massage parlor that caters to women then she is unlikely to perceive this suggestion as “helping”. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/16 "2012-08-09T23:57:30Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > First of all, I think you should butt WAY the fuck out of their relationship. Heh - you said “butt fuck” ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/17 "2012-08-10T01:23:56Z")
Count me in the camp of why you should link it to “Asian”. Which is kinda offensive in a lot of ways. I’ve had a lot of massages - PROPER ones, and a couple that I thought were “proper” but soon got the “tap tap” on what came (that I turned down with no consequences whatsoever) What I’m wondering, more than anything else - just what makes a “sensual” massage and how you would ask for one, as opposed to the “standard” (therapeutic / relaxing) oil massage. And I’d also be wondering just what this would show / prove. The whole thing just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/18 "2012-08-10T01:25:52Z")
I see others have already chimed in but hell if even for your own safety consider treading lightly on taking a married female friend to a brothel, you might have an angry husband after you. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/19 "2012-08-10T01:54:46Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Aside from the potential logistical problems already mentioned in this thread, I think this is a terrible idea and that your friend would probably be offended if you mentioned it to her. It’s unlikely that she intended “explore her feelings” to mean “have sex with a prostitute” (especially since she said she didn’t want to cheat on her husband), and if she did then she could arrange things on her own without help from you. Frankly if a male friend made such a suggestion to me I would suspect that he just wanted to watch and was trying to trick me into bringing his porn fantasies to life. I agree with this. Also, I don’t know what you mean by “sensual” that _wouldn’t_ be sexual. At these places, I’d guess that if she were to go, they’d offer her a regular massage and nothing more. _She_ would have to be the one to initiate any discussion of “extras” and her demeanor and ease with the subject would probably signal to the masseuse that she was “legit”. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/20 "2012-08-10T02:02:29Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I see others have already chimed in but hell if even for your own safety consider treading lightly on taking a married female friend to a brothel, you might have an angry husband after you. Good point about the husband, and I guess I should clarify that it would be sensual, not sexual. That is, gentle touching, oils, whatever, rather than just getting her off, and not a therapeutic massage. I will let her figure it out with him, if it’s something she wants to explore badly enough, she needs to tell him and gauge his (horrified) reaction. As for the offense of calling it Asian massage, no offense made, it’s just a term that has been used for years to differentiate between sexual/sensual and therapeutic. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002.md?page=2)