# Asian Massage Parlor - Cool if Women Go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002 "2012-08-09T21:19:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/21 "2012-08-10T02:50:17Z")
Just have her go for a ‘normal’ massage at a ‘normal’ massage parlour. Have her ask for a masseuse, not masseure. She can have fun fantasizing without getting anyone into any trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/22 "2012-08-10T03:14:15Z")
They still have those? I remember there used to be a number of them in the town I grew up in, but they all closed. The last one I remember seeing was 22 years ago, which brings me around to your question… My only experience with one of these places was when I was 18. I was dating a man in his 30s, and one day he was having some serious back problems. He had stated that, aside from the hushed sexual services those places provided they _also_ could give one hell of a legit backrub, and as he was in serious pain he wanted to go. He asked if I would like to along and _of course_ I said yes. A peep into the forbidden, and likely my only opportunity to satisfy the curiosity of exactly was behind those darkened windows? Was there any question? When we arrived he had to knock. An older Asian lady answered and looked at me with surprise. When the bf asked about getting his back worked on she looked at me, shook her head, said “No”, and shut the door. I am relatively certain we were not allowed in because I was with him. I still wonder what was behind those darkened windows. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/23 "2012-08-10T03:17:13Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I say this as someone who has never been to one, but know what generally goes on with them. > > I have a female friend, happily married, but in recent conversations she has been somewhat interested in the same sex. Not to the point where she would cheat or have an open relationship or even engage in a sexual relationship, but she has wanted to explore her feelings. > > I thought it would be a great idea to take her for a drink or two and then bring her to an Asian massage parlor. I would just sit in the lobby and let her get a sensual massage. Is this something where women would be welcome, and receive a sensual massage, or is it limited to overweight businessmen and truckers? I assume you mean one in the US. I happen to know of establishments over here that do include women who can service women. But if you’re in the US, my advice would be to discuss the matter with the manager of the place, who I’m sure would not be shocked by the situation, probably having seen it all anyway. I’m guessing, though, that the manager could be concerned about an undercover sting operation. So another possibility would be to sound out the female masseuse who is rubbing your friend down as to who on the staff might help her. This is all assuming too that she is at a parlor that already has a shady reputation and is amenable to the idea of visiting such. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/24 "2012-08-10T03:19:24Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > I’m having a hard time making a connection between “Asian” and “sexual”. Are there no places that offer a Thai hot stone massage or something? OP says he “knows what generally goes on in them” – are you certain that’s not your imagination getting away from you? In his defense I distinctly remember “Asian massage” parlors being quite prevalent, and _yes_, there was stuff that “generally went on” in them. As far as I know they don’t exist anymore; it’s been 20+ years since I’ve seen one. Not that I’m looking 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/25 "2012-08-10T03:21:09Z")
What’s wrong with a good old fashioned strip club lap dance? Those girls love female customers. But also, this whole thing is weird and disrespectful towards her relationship with her husband. That’s her business but you’re sleazy for enabling her in this. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/26 "2012-08-10T03:24:21Z")
Could she take her husband along? I know of at least one place that advertises an “erotic couples massage,” which is basically a foursome. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/27 "2012-08-10T03:27:30Z")
I can think of nothing whatsoever that could go wrong with this plan and I urge you to try it as soon as possible. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/28 "2012-08-10T03:35:09Z")
Has any guy on this board ever posted a “sexual” OP that _wasn’t_ full-on creepy? Christ. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/29 "2012-08-10T04:02:14Z")
As an interesting anecdote: I actually went to one of these “massage” parlors about ten years ago with a buddy of mine. We were both shitfaced drunk when we got the idea (Flint is notorious for such parlors) to try one out late one night. It was not too long after I had been first paralyzed, so I was still rather new to my wheelchair (it hadn’t even been two years at that point; hence the drinking). We get there and get taken to seperate rooms; my buddy with one girl, me with another. “Girls” probably wasn’t the appropriate title for the “masseuses”, as both of our ladies were pushing 40. Anyway, I get situated on the table in my room and look at the asian woman standing there with me. She was very demure; mumbling something incoherent to me and nervously flitting about here and there. I asked her how much. She made an “Ahh” sound and turned her back to me. A second later I hear crying sounds and see her body trembling. :eek: I sat there, shirt half unbuttoned, as this asian-masseuse lady broke down in tears in front of me; sobbing about her son who was in a wheelchair. :eek::eek: _ **Buzzkill!!** _ She didn’t speak English very well, so I couldn’t make out all her words but I got the impression that this son was “back home” in her native country and she was unable to be with him. And she was not recovered from whatever it was that caused her son to need the chair. But I was TOTALLY weirded the fuck out. And drunk. And had just wanted a little “erotic massage” from the asian massage parlors of legend of Flinttown (it seemed like such a great idea at the drunken time). I left the room and just waited for my buddy to come out. It seemed like _forever_. All I remember is he came out with a stupid smile on his face. :dubious: Psshht. I sure didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/30 "2012-08-10T13:16:01Z")
If she’s happily married (as you say), she should be having the conversation with her husband, and you should tell her so. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/31 "2012-08-10T15:12:35Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I know I’m not the most worldly guy in the world, but am I being whooshed? At many of these places, you pay up front for the massage, get rubbed down, and at the end, after they have aroused you, are willing to see the job to completion for a good tip. I was aware of the “service” – just not that it was particularly related to “Asian” massage parlors to the point where if a place was Asian themed you could just assume that that service would be available. I used to live very near to a very-Japanese-themed spa/massage/hottub place that was totally on the up-and-up. There were places that were rumored to provide “additional services”, but those ones weren’t particularly themed in any way or other. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/32 "2012-08-10T16:49:07Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > If she’s happily married (as you say), she should be having the conversation with her husband, and you should tell her so. Word. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/33 "2012-08-10T16:56:53Z")
Missed the edit… And this too: > [@listedmia](#): > > If I were your friend, I would find this extremely awkward. “Explore feelings for other women” does not mean “mess around with a prostitute”. If I were lamenting my inability to find a girlfriend and you offered to help me find a prostitute, you’d get an earful about how I’m not your animate sex toy to live out your “can I watch” fantasies. And unless you had a damn good excuse for being so rude, I’d probably never speak to you again. Such an offer makes it rather clear how little you respect her. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/34 "2012-08-10T17:13:05Z")
I can’t even begin to express how creepy this idea is. For everyone involved, with the possible exception of the clueless OP.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/35 "2012-08-10T17:33:52Z")
See why these establishments only cater to men? Women tend to get really uppity about this kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/36 "2012-08-10T17:58:00Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > In his defense I distinctly remember “Asian massage” parlors being quite prevalent, and _yes_, there was stuff that “generally went on” in them. Yeah, I’ve seen a few of them around here with signs advertising “Asian massage,” presumably staffed by Asians. I’ll have to drop in and inform them how offensive they’re being to the PC white community. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/37 "2012-08-10T18:11:07Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > I can’t even begin to express how creepy this idea is. For everyone involved, with the possible exception of the clueless OP.:smack: Count me as one who does not find it creepy. There was a time I would have enjoyed such friendly help… ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/38 "2012-08-10T18:48:58Z")
I live in Manhattan. I would not have thought it to be provincial or prudish or uninterested in sex. Possibly more policed in such matters than some other venues? At any rate, I’ve gone for massages at many many many different places, mostly Asian, usually advertised as “Qi Gong Tui Na” or “Noble Tui Na” or just “massage” or in one prominent establishment [“THE BEST BACK RUB FOR MEN / WOMEN”](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UG3sG17Jk2I/UBoMPragEkI/AAAAAAAAG38/zKsr1b4eeK4/s1600/794px-The_Best_Back_Rub.JPG). None of them was a place where sexual favors were dispensed. Either that or I put off cop vibes or puritanical preacher vibes or something? [(seems unlikely, doesn’t it?)](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/66.html). Just totally legal nonerotic deep tissue elbows-into-your-tight-muscles hot rocks stretchings and etc legitimate massages. Hmm, OK, one exception. One time, one person, at a place I’d been to before where nothing of that ilk had prevously happened. I’m guessing it wasn’t with the knowledge or encouragement of the management since I never saw her again. (she did delicately gentle nudgy ‘accidental’ things to get me aroused, albeit while still at least minimally clothed, then asked if I’d like to opt for more minutes). ---
**Author:** ![Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Throatwarbler_Mangrove)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/39 "2012-08-10T19:09:22Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > I say this as someone who has never been to one, but know what generally goes on with them. > > I have a female friend, happily married, but in recent conversations she has been somewhat interested in the same sex. Not to the point where she would cheat or have an open relationship or even engage in a sexual relationship, but she has wanted to explore her feelings. > > I thought it would be a great idea to take her for a drink or two and then bring her to an Asian massage parlor. I would just sit in the lobby and let her get a sensual massage. Is this something where women would be welcome, and receive a sensual massage, or is it limited to overweight businessmen and truckers? Why doesn’t “your friend” just tell her husband that she wants to try making out with other chicks and see what he thinks of it? Somehow I suspect the idea isn’t _that_ repulsive/frightening to ye average man. With that out of the way why does it have to be an “Asian massage palor”? Are there no other venues where girls who are into other girls meet up? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002/41 "2017-07-12T11:39:53Z")
Zombie or no zombie, I wonder if the OP’s friend is still married to her man 5 years later. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asian-massage-parlor-cool-if-women-go/631002.md?page=3)