# Asinine disclaimers in commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 24, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698 "2012-10-24T03:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/1 "2012-10-24T03:48:21Z")
1. An ad for an indigestion drug shows a forkful of spaghetti bolognese whipping around of its own volition and spitefully slapping the face of the woman who’s trying to eat it. The disclaimer that ran in tiny type at the bottom of the ad: “Dramatization.” No s–t, really?! Seriously, in all of America is there even _one_ sad, deluded freak who otherwise would think to himself, “Hey, my food slaps me in the face too! Finally, a product that’s right for me!” 1. A car commercial shows a sedan calmly, slowly, and legally driving around San Francisco, and stopping at a red light. The disclaimer in tiny type: “Do Not Attempt.” What? I should not attempt to drive around San Fran like a ordinary person? Is it really that much of a deathtrap? 1. At the other extreme of car commercials, Fiat shows its cars driving into the sea in Italy, then driving up on the shores of New York City. The disclaimer: You guessed it, “Do Not Attempt.” All together now: Really? Fiat drivers of the Dope, would you really otherwise have thought that you could drive your adorkable little peanut cars five thousand miles across the bottom of the ocean? I’m a lawyer, and I know why they include these, but I still think they’re deserving of mockery. Any other dumb disclaimers that you’ve seen? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/2 "2012-10-24T03:54:45Z")
They’re done that way for comedy. Otherwise they’d all just say something dull like ‘dramatization’. As I recall in the Pepsi Harrier Jump Jet case the plaintiff lost because the offer was obviously humorous. That probably means they don’t have to say anything at all for the these absurd presentations. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/3 "2012-10-24T04:00:03Z")
I dislike disclaimers - I think people who imitate things they see in commercials should knock themselves out (out of the human race, ideally). ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/4 "2012-10-24T04:46:54Z")
ISTM there’s a web site (or several) containing a compendium of idiotic disclaimers in ads (TV and print). Does somebody here know that site? Link anyone? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/5 "2012-10-24T04:54:00Z")
Moved MPSIMS --\> Cafe Society, which is where threads about ads go. Heck of a convention. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/6 "2012-10-24T04:55:04Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > ISTM there’s a web site (or several) containing a compendium of idiotic disclaimers in ads (TV and print). Does somebody here know that site? Link anyone? This one? [Dumb Warnings](http://www.dumbwarnings.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Gleipner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a4c791/32.png) [@Gleipner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleipner)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/7 "2012-10-24T11:04:24Z")
One of my pet peeves is: “Keep away from fire”. On a child´s sweater… Thanksalot, dudes! If you hadn´t written that, I would have thought it was OK for my then 4-year old son to play in the fire place. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/8 "2012-10-24T12:09:34Z")
Found on plastic bags everywhere - “This bag is not a toy.” That’s just sad, really - it always makes me imagine households where a plastic bag _is_ considered a toy. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/9 "2012-10-24T13:08:01Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > ISTM there’s a web site (or several) containing a compendium of idiotic disclaimers in ads (TV and print). Does somebody here know that site? Link anyone? I recall a parody ad where it listed a bunch of absurd side effects at the end, including things like “getting a head like a golden retreiver’s”. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/10 "2012-10-24T14:18:35Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Found on plastic bags everywhere - “This bag is not a toy.” That’s just sad, really - it always makes me imagine households where a plastic bag _is_ considered a toy. Somewhat shamefully, that would be my house. :o My parrot loves plastic grocery bags. If I put him on the floor with one, he’ll tug it around, rub against it, and run in and out of it. I figure his nose-holes are tiny enough that he won’t suffocate him in it, and I don’t leave him unsupervised. But yes, more generally I think that one qualifies. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/11 "2012-10-24T15:05:21Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > This one? [Dumb Warnings](http://www.dumbwarnings.com/) I once read a list of warnings on the side of a bottle of fingerprint ink. One of the warnings was “avoid skin contact”. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/12 "2012-10-24T15:19:37Z")
I don’t have a specific example, but I always love listening to side effects of advertised drugs. “May include death…” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/13 "2012-10-24T16:08:09Z")
Not quite on topic, since it’s not from a commercial (though I see we’ve already decided to waive that restriction): We have a bottle of Pet Shampoo at home that proclaims on the label “Not Tested on Animals”. I guess that way I can’t sue if it sets my dog’s hair on fire? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/14 "2012-10-24T16:14:10Z")
The one that still cracks me up is on the inside of a brass bell. “Do not use to serve food.” Well now what the hell am I going to use? A plate?!? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/15 "2012-10-24T16:26:41Z")
The real sad part is knowing that for every idiot warning on a product, there was probably some idiot out there who did what is (now) being warned against before the warning went on, got injured, and successfully sued the manufacturer for “failure to warn”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Jocko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncle_jocko/32/2932_2.png) [@Uncle\_Jocko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Jocko)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/16 "2012-10-24T17:06:11Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I recall a parody ad where it listed a bunch of absurd side effects at the end, including things like “getting a head like a golden retreiver’s”. I think that was on Saturday Night Live. “May result in the condition known as hot dog fingers.” Also agreed about the drug disclaimers. You hear the long list of those possible side effects, you wonder why anybody would “ask your doctor if Feelzbetterazine is right for you!” In magazines it’s even better, because the drug companies have to buy three full pages just to fit in all the required disclaimers and warnings. And then they pass the savings on to you! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/17 "2012-10-24T17:12:20Z")
Asthma medications with the warning: “may increase the risk of _asthma_-related death”. (I know the reasons for this but still) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/18 "2012-10-24T17:18:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Found on plastic bags everywhere - “This bag is not a toy.” … Tell that to [E Buzz Miller](http://www.ethicsscoreboard.com/dunces/0408_dunces.html). > [@](#): > > … Dan Ackroyd used to play a character on the old “Saturday Night Live” named E. Buzz Miller, who distributed toys for kids like “Bag 'O Glass.” … ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/19 "2012-10-24T17:24:56Z")
> [@Uncle\_Jocko](#): > > I think that was on Saturday Night Live. “May result in the condition known as hot dog fingers.” > > Also agreed about the drug disclaimers. You hear the long list of those possible side effects, you wonder why anybody would “ask your doctor if Feelzbetterazine is right for you!” > > In magazines it’s even better, because the drug companies have to buy three full pages just to fit in all the required disclaimers and warnings. And then they pass the savings on to you! “May cause stigmata in Mexicans.” I may have all of these parody warnings mashed together. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698/20 "2012-10-24T17:26:09Z")
Why can’t a political candidate who narrates his own commercial end it with “I’m (name), and I’d appreciate your vote”. Isn’t it implied that he approves of his own fucking message? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asinine-disclaimers-in-commercials/638698.md?page=2)