# Ask a 23 year old virgin anything **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707 "2015-06-28T16:20:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/1 "2015-06-28T16:20:27Z")
I have never dated or even approached a woman. Go… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/2 "2015-06-28T16:23:51Z")
Why not? ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/3 "2015-06-28T16:31:17Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Why not? I feel pretty ashamed and embarrassed with myself. This feeling has been with me throughout my childhood and manifested itself into social anxiety disorder. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/4 "2015-06-28T16:33:01Z")
**What _is_ it with these threads?** ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/5 "2015-06-28T16:43:48Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > **What _is_ it with these threads?** I don’t know, but after all the highly dubious new poster introductions over the years, the “I’m a shut-in virgin” threads have a refreshing air of authenticity. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/6 "2015-06-28T16:57:03Z")
If someone told you they were a 40-year-old virgin, how would you feel about that person? How do you imagine your life will be when you are 40? ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/7 "2015-06-28T17:05:32Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If someone told you they were a 40-year-old virgin, how would you feel about that person? How do you imagine your life will be when you are 40? I wouldn’t feel anything about him/her either way but it would make me shudder. I dont think my life would be any different from how it is now. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/8 "2015-06-28T17:12:25Z")
You seem to have quite a few female fans in Japan, Handsome Gorilla ([Fox News - Breaking News Updates | Latest News Headlines | Photos & News Videos](http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/06/27/japanese-women-are-flocking-zoo-see-handsome-gorilla)) ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/9 "2015-06-28T17:19:53Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > You seem to have quite a few female fans in Japan, Handsome Gorilla ([http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/06/27/japanese-women-are-flocking-zoo-see-handsome-gorilla](http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/06/27/japanese-women-are-flocking-zoo-see-handsome-gorilla)) Someone’s aware 😉 ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/10 "2015-06-28T18:33:36Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > **What _is_ it with these threads?** Have there been a lot of these threads recently? ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/11 "2015-06-28T19:05:17Z")
We were all virgins at some point in our lives. What wisdom do you think you have to impart from your lack of experience? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/12 "2015-06-28T19:07:49Z")
Do you want to date a woman? Do you have less social anxiety online? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/13 "2015-06-28T19:11:08Z")
Have you tried medications, either prescription or good old alcohol? Are you able to interact with people at all when in physical proximity? How do you think this happened? Do you think there were events or circumstances in your life that led to your current condition or is this just some unexplainable facet of your personality? ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/14 "2015-06-28T19:35:07Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Do you want to date a woman? > > Do you have less social anxiety online? Yes I would like to. It depends on the website but much less over here. ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/15 "2015-06-28T20:00:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Have you tried medications, either prescription or good old alcohol? Are you able to interact with people at all when in physical proximity? How do you think this happened? Do you think there were events or circumstances in your life that led to your current condition or is this just some unexplainable facet of your personality? I dont drink alcohol and never will due to religious reasons. I have tried propranolol, valium, lyrica and abused ephedrine hcl which was pretty stupid on my part. None of the medications helped me; the side effects were taking a toll on my physical health so I stopped them. When in physical proximity with people who I should be talking to, the feeling of inferiority and shame floods my mind very quickly. I dont aproach them at all. With people I know there is still hesitation but it’s somewhat easier. I stongly believe bullying has had a lasting effect on me as an adult by altering my brain on a subconscious level. Whenever I want to be confident around people today, I think back to how people treated to me back then and believe people now will react to me the same way. This could be something simple like refraining to greet someone for fear of being given a dirty look. It boggles my mind how others around me while growing up were treated with respect, whereas I was treated like dirt. Is it because I am ugly? I have no idea. I think my social anxiety has subdued any personality I might have, so that is also a problem. ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/16 "2015-06-28T20:02:08Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > We were all virgins at some point in our lives. What wisdom do you think you have to impart from your lack of experience? I lack basic common sense, there is no way I could impart wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![Construct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@Construct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Construct)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/17 "2015-06-28T20:08:56Z")
You can help fix your feelings of inferiority by becoming _better_–working out, reading widely, and finding well-paid or otherwise high status employment. As for confidence, the advice ‘fake it till you make it’ is true but useless if you lack the willpower or ability to simulate confidence. Try spending as much time with other people as possible, even if those people are friends or strangers. Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for in life. ---
**Author:** ![HandsomeGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@HandsomeGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HandsomeGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/18 "2015-06-28T20:17:20Z")
> [@Construct](#): > > You can help fix your feelings of inferiority by becoming _better_–working out, reading widely, and finding well-paid or otherwise high status employment. > > As for confidence, the advice ‘fake it till you make it’ is true but useless if you lack the willpower or ability to simulate confidence. Try spending as much time with other people as possible, even if those people are friends or strangers. > > Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for in life. How exactly do you simulate confidence? It’s a term that’s thrown around excessively online but thus far I haven’t seen anybody define it accurately. All they give is vague answers. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/19 "2015-06-28T20:21:54Z")
> [@HandsomeGorilla](#): > > I lack basic common sense, there is no way I could impart wisdom. Common sense is achieved by trying and either succeeding or failing. Stop worrying about what others think about you. When you don’t get what you want, you get experience. It’s the best teacher out there. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707/20 "2015-06-28T20:36:25Z")
Your religion forbids you to take alcohol. What it their stance on premarital sex? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-23-year-old-virgin-anything/723707.md?page=2)