# Ask a black gay guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 30, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469 "2005-01-30T20:13:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/62 "2005-02-01T05:09:41Z")
The Bell Curve really lept out. What did you think of it (specifically it’s conclusions), and did you really mean it when you described it as a book you “really enjoyed”? ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/63 "2005-02-01T05:23:10Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > Naturally, I think it is terrible, wrong, and most of all immoral. On the other hand, I am currently listening to\* Money, Power, Respect\* by Lil’ Kim and the Lox, so my gut is making me second guess whether I **really** think it is “terrible and wrong”. The music, for me, is purely an exercise of culture. I am not religious and have no belief of a higher being yet every Sunday I make it a point to listen to typical Christian songs like _His Eye is On the Sparrow_ or _A Bridge over Troubled Water_. > > I do listen to PG-13 rappers like Will Smith, The Fugees, Salt n’ Pepper, MC Lyte, etc etc. This subgenre of rap, unfortunately, happens to be lost to the annals of time. > > - Honesty And how is that not racist? Racism is a two-way street and if you are really honest with yourself Honesty then you will recognize racism by blacks towards whites and other minorities such as asians. Perhaps not as overt (or maybe it is) but equally as galling and dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/64 "2005-02-01T06:33:40Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > ``` > My point is that DLs will never be discouraged by black men who are out because the the latter are looked down with contempt. Ask yourself this: Why would a straight-acting, masculine, woman-dating man want to get out of the closet when he realizes that doing so would be detrimental to his reputation within his family and the community? > > ``` > > - Honesty So are you saying DLs are primarily hookng up with other DLs? I ask this because back a decade or so I had some really close freinds who were gay, who made a kind of running joke about DL guys. Anyway it seems to me that DL’s are more self-hating and would therefore be looked down upon by those Out than the other way around. Also back before I left the church, it seeemed to me that Homosexuality while not openly celebrated was becoming, if not acceptable, but tolerated to a certain extent. Of course I live in California, so your mileage may vary. What’s your view on this? ---
**Author:** ![recurriman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8dc957/32.png) [@recurriman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recurriman)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/65 "2005-02-01T07:45:30Z")
As a black gay guy, what are your thoughts on inflation? ---
**Author:** ![Shirt\_Ninja\_13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19b73/32.png) [@Shirt\_Ninja\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirt_Ninja_13)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/66 "2005-02-01T15:35:34Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > C’mon, be brave, ask me anything. 😃 > > - Honesty what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? _bamf_ ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/67 "2005-02-01T18:17:31Z")
> [@Shirt Ninja 13](#): > > what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? > > _bamf_ European or African? ---
**Author:** ![Shirt\_Ninja\_13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19b73/32.png) [@Shirt\_Ninja\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirt_Ninja_13)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/68 "2005-02-01T18:20:31Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > European or African? how do _you_ know so much about swallows? _bamf_ ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/69 "2005-02-01T19:37:02Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > Naturally, I think it is terrible, wrong, and most of all immoral. On the other hand, I am currently listening to\* Money, Power, Respect\* by Lil’ Kim and the Lox, so my gut is making me second guess whether I **really** think it is “terrible and wrong”. The music, for me, is purely an exercise of culture. I am not religious and have no belief of a higher being yet every Sunday I make it a point to listen to typical Christian songs like _His Eye is On the Sparrow_ or _A Bridge over Troubled Water_. > > I do listen to PG-13 rappers like Will Smith, The Fugees, Salt n’ Pepper, MC Lyte, etc etc. This subgenre of rap, unfortunately, happens to be lost to the annals of time. > > - Honesty Thanks for your reply, **Honesty**!! Digging deeper, I’m curious about such expressions in rap music, a genre I’m very unfamiliar with, so pardon my ignorance. Would you say that such expressions (violence against other minorities) in rap music are an expression of the true feelings of the musicians/writers and possibly the community-at-large that listens to that music or are they more a general expression of outrage/dis-satisfaction with society as a whole and its treatment of the black community? In other words, are those expressions the true sentiment of the artists or it a metaphor for deeper anger or angst the artists feel? I hope that wasn’t too convoluted a question! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/70 "2005-02-01T22:20:14Z")
I’m not a black gay guy, but I’ll field this one: > [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > Is the Black Accent a put-on? How can people from Michigan, California and Atlanta all have the same accent? They don’t all have the same accent. Actually, what you’re referring to isn’t even an accent, it’s a dialect, or rather a family of dialects. (The current linguistic term is AAVE = African-American Vernacular English.) There are regional variations, but these are often more subtle than regional variations among American whites and are not always obvious to outsiders. The reason for these subtler regional variations is simple. Until relatively recently, the vast majority African-Americans lived in the same region. From about the time of WWI into the 1930s, there was a “Great Migration” of African-Americans out of the rural South and into urban areas around the country. But segregation (both legal and social) and “white flight” has kept many of these African-Americans living in primarily African-American neighborhoods ever since and prevented linguistic assimilation. ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/71 "2005-02-02T04:04:32Z")
> [@Freyr](#): > > Thanks for your reply, **Honesty**!! Digging deeper, I’m curious about such expressions in rap music, a genre I’m very unfamiliar with, so pardon my ignorance. Would you say that such expressions (violence against other minorities) in rap music are an expression of the true feelings of the musicians/writers and possibly the community-at-large that listens to that music or are they more a general expression of outrage/dis-satisfaction with society as a whole and its treatment of the black community? In other words, are those expressions the true sentiment of the artists or it a metaphor for deeper anger or angst the artists feel? I hope that wasn’t too convoluted a question! 😉 Hmm, this is a tough question. I would say Maybe and No. As a listener of rap music, I certainly don’t have any desire (nor would I) to pick up a shot gun and start going on a rampage. These lyrics are there just to sell records - nothing more, nothing less. Could they also be an expression of outrage against society? Maybe. I’m a bit skeptical. - Honesty ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/72 "2005-02-02T04:06:43Z")
> [@recurriman](#): > > As a black gay guy, what are your thoughts on inflation? To be honest here, I am pretty ignorant when it comes to economic issues. I don’t understand how our money was backed by gold but isn’t backed by gold, but backed by some kind of weird Wall Street method. Nor can I comprehend how the Euro is worth more than the dollar when we have a bunch of gold in Kentucky. Ahh well. It’s all too complex for me. 😉 So I’ll give you a simpleton’s answer: Inflation sucks. - Honesty ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/73 "2005-02-02T04:13:45Z")
> [@Stuffy](#): > > So are you saying DLs are primarily hookng up with other DLs? I ask this because back a decade or so I had some really close freinds who were gay, who made a kind of running joke about DL guys. Anyway it seems to me that DL’s are more self-hating and would therefore be looked down upon by those Out than the other way around. > > Also back before I left the church, it seeemed to me that Homosexuality while not openly celebrated was becoming, if not acceptable, but tolerated to a certain extent. Of course I live in California, so your mileage may vary. What’s your view on this? Hmm, for the most part, DL guys hook up with DL guys. When I go into a chatroom or look at ads, they usually say something like “DL only” or “masc only”. Those who are out usually don’t show anger toward DLs; in fact, most of them want them - hell even I do! Most of DL guys carry themselves as perfect paradigms of masculinity.It’s like looking at [this guy](http://myvideostore.com/content/people/pics/vin_diesel.jpg) and being told that he is gay. I hope I answered your question. - Honesty P.S. I agree with your view. Homosexuality is being accepted more in the black community but we’re at least 15 years behind everyone else. I hope I answered your question. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/74 "2005-02-02T04:24:57Z")
> [@Bill H.](#): > > The Bell Curve really lept out. What did you think of it (specifically it’s conclusions), and did you really mean it when you described it as a book you “really enjoyed”? I have struggled (and still struggle) with major inferiority issues and _The Bell Curve_ was a panacea that helped crystallize many of my suspicions regarding my intellectual capability. After reading it, I immediately switched my major from Biology to Anthropology to get a more “scholarly” look at race and intelligence. Unfortunately, my instructors only go through cursory detail about this subject and have rebuffed my attempts to do research on this topic. Incidentally, someone told me of \*Mismeasure of Man \* that helped ease some of my fears, but I am still a bit doubtful. The evidence seems pretty overwhelming, yanno? As you can probably see, this is a “demon” that I haven’t quit shaken, but I’m getting there. 😉 I hope I answered your question. 🙂 - Honesty ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/75 "2005-02-02T04:27:10Z")
> [@lee](#): > > Have you read any of Diane Duane’s books? Nope, are they for adults? Also, you never answered my question, what Lackey books have you read? - Honesty ---
**Author:** ![recurriman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8dc957/32.png) [@recurriman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recurriman)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/76 "2005-02-02T05:20:41Z")
What’s the best way to accessorize capris? ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/77 "2005-02-02T13:01:00Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > Nope, are they for adults? Also, you never answered my question, what Lackey books have you read? > > - Honesty I have not read any all the way through. I have meant to, and get interrupted. What do you recommend? The _Tale of the Five: Door into Fire, Door into Sunset, Door Into Shadow_ certainly are not children’s literature. Two of the five are men in love with each other, unusual in a fantasy novel. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/78 "2005-02-02T17:33:09Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > I have struggled (and still struggle) with major inferiority issues and _The Bell Curve_ was a panacea that helped crystallize many of my suspicions regarding my intellectual capability. After reading it, I immediately switched my major from Biology to Anthropology to get a more “scholarly” look at race and intelligence. Unfortunately, my instructors only go through cursory detail about this subject and have rebuffed my attempts to do research on this topic. > > Incidentally, someone told me of \*Mismeasure of Man \* that helped ease some of my fears, but I am still a bit doubtful. The evidence seems pretty overwhelming, yanno? As you can probably see, this is a “demon” that I haven’t quit shaken, but I’m getting there. 😉 > > I hope I answered your question. 🙂 > > - Honesty **Honesty** , send me an email. I just completed a graduate course in physical anthropology and would be happy to email you some articles (in PDF format) about race and physical anthropology’s take on it. You can find my email in my profile. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/79 "2005-02-03T02:47:16Z")
Does it bother you to hear 2 hetro males kid each other about being gay. ex: “I love you man, just not that way”. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/80 "2005-02-03T03:16:26Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > Homosexuality is being accepted more in the black community but we’re at least 15 years behind everyone else. I’m very pleasantly surprised about the increased acceptance; and 15 years isn’t really very long, in the great scheme of things. After the last election, I was very pissed at the black community (along with the rural white and Amish), who voted in record numbers to pass the anti-same-sex-marriage amendment (which is now law here in Ohio). I’ve often said that those of us who are gay have been through a personal evolution that most straight people never have to go through. And the people I’ve known who are gay and black are up against even greater obstacles; to overcome them, you’re among the bravest individuals in our society. ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469/81 "2005-02-03T08:18:13Z")
Okay I have one… Why are black people so cool? No I’m not into rap, and I don’t even like it, but Black dudes are just so damn smooth! I’ve lived in other parts of the world, and Americans are sort of considered “cool” but that’s only because we have Black people to teach us certain phrases that we repeat for at least 5 years after y’all have moved on to cooler things. And furthermore the use of the word y’all. I mean that was popularized by black people not southerners. Obviously a lot of black people have southern origns, but really. I don’t really get into most mainstream aspects of black cultuer, but damn, you are all so cool. Also, is it true, the thing about having bigger penises? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-black-gay-guy/287469.md?page=5)