# Ask a guy who recovered from a terrible limiting belief/insecurity anything. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921 "2013-06-25T23:06:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/21 "2013-06-26T18:37:18Z")
Is it just me or are all of us picturing Raj Kuthrapali from The Big Bang Theory? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/22 "2013-06-26T23:36:40Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Is it just me or are all of us picturing Raj Kuthrapali from The Big Bang Theory? Stop that! You know he can’t post while you’re thinking about him… ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/23 "2013-06-26T23:41:40Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Is it just me or are all of us picturing Raj Kuthrapali from The Big Bang Theory? I’m picturing him in the episode where he was running around in his underwear! ---
**Author:** ![Curious\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Curious\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/24 "2013-06-27T00:56:18Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > Did you think you could score with attractive women within your race? > > **Yes, I had no issues with Black and Asian girls but I was just not attracted to them at all. Loved Latin girls and dated some, most of my hook ups were with them but for me, White women (especially the Blonde ones) did the trick. Unfortunately for a while I thought my appearance would get in my way.** > > Why was it important for you to date women outside your race? > > **Because I am attracted to White females the most and I want the kind of women I am attracted to. The thought of marrying an Indian woman, even if she looks like Freida Pinto scared me.** > > Why was it important for you to “score” with “attractive” women? Have you gone on a personal journey to figure out how to have a long and stable relationship with a woman? If not, why was it more important for you to figure out how to score with attractive women rather than to figure out how to have a happy relationship? > > **I am in my early 20s, don’t care about happy relationships.** > [@sisu](#): > > Yeah how do I go about dating an attractive Indian woman as a whiter than casper white boy? > > **Be White, seriously, the ones born and raised in America hate Indian men. Its all good though, I hate them too.** > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Why is dating a white woman such an “accomplishment” for you? > > **Because the attractive ones have been really tough for me and dating one has lifted a major limiting belief off of me.** > [@Telemark](#): > > Have you overcome your terrible limiting belief/insecurity that you are a failure unless you are dating a white woman? > > **It is not a limiting belief, I think that Indian men in the US who date Indian women do so because White women do not want a thing to do with them. I mean come on, given the choice, most guys would take a 6/10 White girl over a 9/10 Indian girl.** \*\*As for Colander. What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Curious\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Curious\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/25 "2013-06-27T00:59:11Z")
oh and of course, as with any interracial relationship, the hate shall come but the hate I have gotten has not really been as much from the White crowd, more from other Indian guys who were jealous, funny how it works: “hay, how did u pick up white girl?” Me: Nonresponsive “OH FUCK U IDIOT!” Let the hate begin. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/26 "2013-06-27T01:12:10Z")
> [@](#): > > It is not a limiting belief, I think that Indian men in the US who date Indian women do so because White women do not want a thing to do with them. I mean come on, given the choice, most guys would take a 6/10 White girl over a 9/10 Indian girl. Thanks for confirming that you haven’t learned anything or grown a bit since you first posted here. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/27 "2013-06-27T01:13:03Z")
I am assuming you are a college graduate. Do you want your white woman to also be an intelligent college grad? ``` I have limited myself to not so bright beautiful blonds most of my life, my fantasy is an intelligent woman, passionate about some kind of research project or earth changing studies. I wouldn't care what race or even too much what she looked like, I just find the brains a major turn on and very elusive to me. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Curious\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Curious\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/28 "2013-06-27T02:00:19Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I am assuming you are a college graduate. Do you want your white woman to also be an intelligent college grad? > > ``` > I have limited myself to not so bright beautiful blonds most of my life, my fantasy is an intelligent woman, passionate about some kind of research project or earth changing studies. I wouldn't care what race or even too much what she looked like, I just find the brains a major turn on and very elusive to me. > > ``` Actually I am still in college. Also, I am not an idiot but I am not the guy with 140 IQ either, I am inbetween. Honestly, a really intelligent woman intimidates me. I once had a chance to hook up with this Asian girl that goes to Yale and she was into me but the fact is it did hurt me ego a lot to see her doing Organic Chem and Physics problems like they were nothing while I had some issues (did good in both classes though). I won’t date a girl that is an absolute moron but there are a lot of intelligent people that don’t go to college. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/29 "2013-06-27T02:06:05Z")
If I am attracted to a real intelligent type I turn into a complete clutz. I feel like my pants are too big and my head is too big. I have a major meltdown and give up before I get to first base. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/30 "2013-06-27T02:10:59Z")
> [@Curious\_Man](#): > > oh and of course, as with any interracial relationship, the hate shall come > > but the hate I have gotten has not really been as much from the White crowd, more from other Indian guys who were jealous, funny how it works: > > “hay, how did u pick up white girl?” > > Me: Nonresponsive > > “OH FUCK U IDIOT!” > > Let the hate begin. Oh come on, CG. Surely you can do better than “non responsive.” I’ve a few suggested retorts for you: “I asked her if she had a little Indian in her. When she said no, I asked if she wanted one. She just couldn’t resist my natural charm.” “I just told her that I’m one of Brad and Angelina’s kids.” “Thank God, I finally found someone who takes Discover.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/31 "2013-06-27T02:49:54Z")
As a “White Girl”, I’m guessing a lot of them might be turned off because your so-called attraction sounds more like a fetish. ---
**Author:** ![Curious\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Curious\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/32 "2013-06-27T04:35:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > As a “White Girl”, I’m guessing a lot of them might be turned off because your so-called attraction sounds more like a fetish. Not really a fetish but a preference that was tough to act on. I had issues attracting White women until I learned that they require more work and just more in general than an Indian woman or a woman that isn’t White. Maybe this isn’t true in other states and countries, but where I live in the USA it is. Plus, most attractive women I run into are White. ---
**Author:** ![Curious\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Curious\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curious_Man)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/33 "2013-06-27T04:42:20Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > Oh come on, CG. Surely you can do better than “non responsive.” I’ve a few suggested retorts for you: > > “I asked her if she had a little Indian in her. When she said no, I asked if she wanted one. She just couldn’t resist my natural charm.” > > “I just told her that I’m one of Brad and Angelina’s kids.” > > “Thank God, I finally found someone who takes Discover.” Nah, can’t help em. Apparently me doing well with women of other races has pissed off Indian guys because Indians hate other Indians. Russell Peters joked about it, an Indian gets pissed at the idea of another Indian doing well. Just realizing that I am a person first and all these Indian guys aren’t my brothers or anything probably did the trick for me. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/34 "2013-06-27T04:49:16Z")
> [@Curious\_Man](#): > > I had issues attracting White women until I learned that they require more work and just more in generals than an Indian woman or a woman that isn’t White.. This is true. I require daily milk baths to prevent that icky melanin from showing itself. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/35 "2013-06-27T05:09:07Z")
I have to slather myself in sunscreen daily, or I just darken right down. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/36 "2013-06-27T06:38:13Z")
I’ve tried dating a few Indian men and had major problems with all of them. I was never able to pin down exactly what the issue was, or even if in fact, there was some actual culture based commonality to it. But it wasn’t for lack of desire or trying on my part. If I were ever to try it again I think I’d have to be friends first for some time to make sure any cultural clashing was resolved first. I’ll also say, for the college crowd, on my school’s secret admirer page, there is no shortage of white girls lusting after brown boys of all types. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/37 "2013-06-27T11:30:28Z")
> [@Curious\_Man](#): > > Nah, can’t help em. Apparently me doing well with women of other races has pissed off Indian guys because Indians hate other Indians. Russell Peters joked about it, an Indian gets pissed at the idea of another Indian doing well. Just realizing that I am a person first and all these Indian guys aren’t my brothers or anything probably did the trick for me. Joking aside, what you really seem to have a problem with is your OWN skin color and ethnicity. I’m just curious, based on a few comments you’ve made: were you born in the US? You seem quite out of touch with what being Indian actually means, and I wonder if that has to do with being caught in 2nd or 3rd generation where values at home compete with what you see in every day life. And yes. I know that I am being all kinds of presumptuous. The fact that I genuinely feel some sympathy for you doesn’t negate my disgust at your inverse racism and concern for your girlfriend, who is likely going to be hurt when she figures out that you are wearing her whiteness for her to the exclusion of any genuine feelings on your part. As I told you, my husband and son are Indian. My husband doesn’t give a second thought to how other Indians are doing or what they may think of me. This is the home he chose, but I know that he misses his home of origin. And in fact, the connections that we have made with other Malaysian Indians who chose to settle down in the US are what sustains him. They aren’t just friends. They are family. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/38 "2013-06-27T12:04:29Z")
> [@Curious\_Man](#): > > Not really a fetish but a preference that was tough to act on. Don’t fool yourself, it’s a fetish. You have stated that you don’t really care about a relationship, just the fact that you want to be dating a “White woman”. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/39 "2013-06-27T13:30:19Z")
> [@Curious\_Man](#): > > “hay, how did u pick up white girl?” > > Me: Nonresponsive > > “OH FUCK U IDIOT!” > > Let the hate begin. God help me, but I’m sitting here snickering because I imagined that exchange said in the voices of Apu from the Simpsons and Raj from BBT. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921/40 "2013-06-27T13:41:47Z")
Boy, this thread makes us Indian girls feel great! Don’t worry, I don’t date Indian men either, so I guess we’re all even. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-guy-who-recovered-from-a-terrible-limiting-belief-insecurity-anything/661921.md?page=3)