# Ask a Moron! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604 "2005-03-21T18:22:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Foible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Foible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foible)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/21 "2005-03-22T03:08:50Z")
Hey moron, do you hate it when people call you a moron? There’s a sig that says you do. ---
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/22 "2005-03-22T04:05:27Z")
_ahem_ President Bush…? I would have done it for Kerry as well. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/23 "2005-03-22T04:48:44Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > How do you keep a moron in suspense? > > … Well? _HOW??_ ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/24 "2005-03-22T04:53:13Z")
I’ll tell you tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/25 "2005-03-22T06:06:52Z")
I voted for Kucinich in the primary, Kerry in the general. Church, we ain’t got none o them in these parts. The pastor comes by on his 'hoss when sumbody reckons they wanna get hitched. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/26 "2005-03-22T07:43:08Z")
Hey Moron! Why can’t you use a turn signal? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/27 "2005-03-22T13:10:53Z")
Would it really kill you to remember to ``` • put the seat down? • pick up your socks? • brew another pot? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoodoo_Ulove)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/28 "2005-03-22T16:24:09Z")
Why did you tiptoe past the medicine chest? ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/29 "2005-03-22T17:19:24Z")
Hey, Moron! Green means “go”! Why does it take you so long to figure that out after the light changes? And do you mind only driving on roads other than the one I’m on? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/30 "2005-03-22T17:24:49Z")
Nothing wrong with being a moron. It’s when you graduate to **fucking moron!!!** that you’ve got problems. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/31 "2005-03-22T18:10:24Z")
So, how’s the [salt business](http://www.mortonsalt.com/)? What? Oh! :smack: I’m such a moron. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/32 "2005-03-22T21:38:10Z")
Must you hold this conversation _in the doorway_?? Can’t you find a less inconvenient spot to park your bulk? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/33 "2005-03-22T22:13:15Z")
Hey moron, why do I get hot pr0n when I press the Alt- F4 keys on my computer?? Do you get it, too?? (Is this why you vaporized from poker the other night, hot pr0n keys?? 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/34 "2005-03-22T22:27:19Z")
A dozen questions: Is your Dad’s name Ben and did he talk to you [like this](http://www.moviesounds.com/private/moron.wav)? Who do you more closely identify with: Beavis or Butthead? ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604/35 "2005-03-23T02:31:52Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > (Is this why you vaporized from poker the other night, hot pr0n keys?? 😃 ) Internet Hiccup. **Earthworm Jim** : Is my bulk intimidating? What? I can’t hear you over the music. I don’t know how those salt guys can use my name without paying me. Green means go? What about that lever attatched to my steering wheel? That makes a green light come on on my dash intermittently. Does that mean start and stop, or go slow? That’s why I can’t go faster than 5 mph under the speed limit. My hot pr0n must be broken. My computer doesn’t do that when i push Alt+F… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-moron/295604.md?page=1)