# Ask a Witch next time.....asshole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 8, 1999, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188 "1999-09-08T05:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/21 "1999-09-08T15:15:00Z")
CK, as one of the members of the ongoing conspiracies involving the Illuminati, I am very disapointed in your telling all of the details. It makes it very hard for us to continue ruining this country if people know the truth. If you continue to give away all our secrets and especially our secret handshake, I will seriously have to consider proposing that we sentence you to our strictest punishment (15 lashes with a wet noodle). In the future please do not tell so much about how we changed history to our benefit. Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/22 "1999-09-08T15:57:00Z")
MMMMMM Yum-yum, cheezy poofs. All this talk of witches, and banshees and bullshi… **croak** **croak** :: oh, now i’ve done it!! :: ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/23 "1999-09-08T15:58:00Z")
MMMMMM Yum-yum, cheezy poofs. All this talk of witches, ans banshees and bullshi… **croak** **croak** :: oh, now i’ve done it!! :: ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/24 "1999-09-08T16:04:00Z")
Would a kiss help? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/25 "1999-09-08T16:51:00Z")
\*_Kellibelli_: > [@](#): > > is banshee a ‘he’ or a ‘she’? The poster or the word? The poster Banshee\_ proclaimed > [@](#): > > I am male and I am indeed a witch. but (as noted) has an e-mail address of “priestess.” At this point, it’s hard to tell. The word “banshee” is (more or less) phonetic English for the Irish Gaelic “bann sidhe” or “woman of the sidhe.” The word _sidhe_ can be translated as “fairy” (but think in terms of Tolkien’s elves with a bit of an attitude). The only way you can associate masculine traits with “Banshee” is if you are into 1950’s jet fighters by McDonnell. * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/26 "1999-09-09T05:22:00Z")
Just read that column, and Cecil himself refers to it as a “far-fetched theory.” That is is. So what’s the problem? Cecil presented one theory as to the witch/broom connection. If he’d presented them all, well, it would have been a great column, but there wouldn’t have been any room for any more articles in his paper. Light a candle & chill, Banshee. I don’t think Cecil meant any harm. Really I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/27 "1999-09-08T19:09:00Z")
What’s the difference between a fundamentalist Christian who believes in Creationism and a modern Wiccan who believes that they’re practicing the same religion that Druidic Pagans practiced 500 years ago? Give up? The answer is nothing. They’re both historically ignorant. And mind you, I’m not anti-Wiccan. The practice of a Pagan or _natural religion_ (without the human sacrifices, of course 😉 ) is no skin off my nose. It’s just that I’m anti-ignorance. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/28 "1999-09-08T19:16:00Z")
Love and Light, Blessed Be, Fairy Farts. Banshee\_, I would like to thank you for showing that reading comprehension problems and the inability to calmly correct a mistaken conception are not limited to Christians. Envision peace, and try not to act like a hysterical queen. That type of reaction is not going to win brownie (or bwcca?) points for your Faith. ## Asshole. Dr. Fidelius, Charlatan Associate Curator Anomalous Paleontology, Miskatonic University Homo vult decipi; decipiatur ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/29 "1999-09-08T19:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > a modern Wiccan who believes that they’re practicing the same religion that Druidic Pagans practiced 500 years ago? Ooo just like if I claimed i had ressurected the old Filipino pre-Spanish animist religion of the Tagalogs or my people, the Aklanons. Funny thing, a few Wiccans I know seem to use the term pagan and Wiccan interchangeably, and ignorantly (they arent the same. Wiccans are pagan, but not all pagans are wiccan). ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/30 "1999-09-08T21:16:00Z")
This is indeed a common and regrettable error. Although _descended and based on_ pre-Christian religions, Wicca itself has only existed for about a century. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/31 "1999-09-08T23:20:00Z")
And if Banshee\_ wants us to stop picturing Baba Yaga and see Sabrina when we hear “witch”, he better stop throwing these little hissy fits. I had thought that wicca was a reaction against the patronizing patriarchal cold dead God. Most practitioners I have met are very tolerant of the beliefs of others, and have a sense of humor and proportion regarding their self-applied label of “witch”. But I guess there are jerks in any group… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 1999, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/32 "1999-09-08T23:24:00Z")
Banshee\_: Satan here. Don’t believe it? Well that name over to the left should be convincing enough for you. Here’s the deal - Me and God were talking, see, and it seems neither of us want you to follow either of us. I kinda appreciated the sentiment above, but found no need for the attitude! It was wasted on a topic and person and forum that would all have reacted a lot better without it. And God, well, he just wrote you off as an asshole. He’s so judgemental! Anyway, since neither of us want you, you might want to start… oh, I dunno… sticking a broomstick up your ass, maybe? Cordially, Satan ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/33 "1999-09-09T00:31:00Z")
Lynn, don’t you DARE send these people to my forum! Jill Me like fi put one hex on yu, nuh? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/34 "1999-09-09T01:03:00Z")
CKDextHavn wrote: > [@](#): > > Witchcraft in fact was not invented until 1942, it was an insidious trick by the Japanese (teamed up with the Illuminati, World Conspiracy of Jewish Bankers and the Illuminati and the Masons) to undermine Christianity. The Japanese teamed up with the Illuminati **twice**? Wow, the Illuminati really CAN do anything! * * * I’m not flying fast, just orbiting low. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/35 "1999-09-09T03:17:00Z")
Thank God! (or whomever) I was just about to give up lurking in the pit. Thanks, everyone! * * * | | | | | | | | | | Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. ---
**Author:** ![Edwyrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@Edwyrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwyrd)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/36 "1999-09-09T04:10:00Z")
I was a little bit tense after reading the “Serious” thread on this topic. Daaaam was that illuminati but funny. Thanks 🙂 Edward ---
**Author:** ![Edwyrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@Edwyrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwyrd)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/37 "1999-09-09T04:11:00Z")
Hmmm…make that “Bit”… (_hahahaha_) Edward ---
**Author:** ![t.g](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@t.g](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t.g)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/38 "1999-09-09T05:17:00Z")
## uh, Satan, Just wanted to ask how your favorite son Anton LeVey likes it where he is now ? I read both of his books, the Sananic Bible and the ritual book, neither did a lot for me, but hey to each his own. Did you tell him to write those are did he just decide to do it on his own ? One last thing, will you please make that sicko Marilyn Manson put some cloths on ? He looks like a plucked chicken. t.g. sweet innocent little old grandma type person ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/39 "1999-09-09T08:26:00Z")
{{Lynn, don’t you DARE send these people to my forum! Jill Me like fi put one hex on yu, nuh?}} I was tempted. Oh, how I was tempted. But I saw that it had already generated some responses, and people were simply having too much fun for me to break up the party. Incidentally (not in reply to Jill, but someone else), LaVey wrote at least 3 books. There’s the witch book as well as the other two. Lynn As both moderator and poster this time. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188/40 "1999-09-09T13:35:00Z")
And here I was thinking it was another dumb assessed post from Brihael… okay, all I can add but I think others have beaten me to it is this person is an ass. Slamming all over the place and not really being true to the true slam technique. Go read, “Oh fuck you” and get a clue. If you’re gonna slam at least do it properly. Especially if you’re going after the very God of this forum. No, I’m not an asskisser but he/she can’t raise a valid point unless he/she can quote directly and succinctly from Uncle C… and even when you got the quote right you fucked the rest up. My own thoughts? Don’t fuck with the witches here, dipshit, not a good idea at all. C#3 that includes you… (wanna fight? I always knew we would…). Hey, as always, this is just IMHO… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-a-witch-next-time-asshole/2188.md?page=3)