# "Ask about the Duane Reade Baby Club!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213 "2011-12-14T19:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/1 "2011-12-14T19:34:40Z")
That’s what the announcement said in the Duane Reade–“I could totally use one of those,” I thought. So I asked, and was disappointed to find it is only some damn discount program. Misleading, is what \*I \*calls it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/2 "2011-12-14T19:37:23Z")
It wouldn’t even need to be much of a club, with that soft spot thing they’ve got going on. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/3 "2011-12-14T20:51:51Z")
A harp seal club works just as well. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/4 "2011-12-14T20:54:54Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > A harp seal club works just as well. I thought maybe Baby Clubs came in pink or blue, or made squeaky noises when you used them. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/5 "2011-12-14T21:01:00Z")
I needed a new garage. I went to a garage sale. I’m still parking on the street. StG ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/6 "2011-12-14T21:05:29Z")
I was thinking they were giving away babies and thought, I definitely _don’t_ need one of those. Now I see. Do the clubs come with mystery sticky baby crud pre-applied? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/7 "2011-12-14T21:24:32Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I needed a new garage. I went to a garage sale. > > I’m still parking on the street. I keep pressing the escape key, but I’m still here. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/8 "2011-12-15T04:26:36Z")
Reminds me how disappointed I was upon finding out what Club Disney really was. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/9 "2011-12-15T16:23:00Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I keep pressing the escape key, but I’m still here. I childproofed my house but they keep getting in anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/10 "2011-12-15T19:25:08Z")
> [@Ashes\_Ashes](#): > > I was thinking they were giving away babies and thought, I definitely _don’t_ need one of those. I thought it was like a fruit-of-the-month club or something, only a baby-of -the month. That way every month is someone’s birthday! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/11 "2011-12-15T19:38:03Z")
I don’t want a Baby Club. I’ll have the Baby Reuben instead. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/12 "2011-12-15T19:43:00Z")
> [@Lsura](#): > > I thought it was like a fruit-of-the-month club or something, only a baby-of -the month. That way every month is someone’s birthday! It would give new meaning to ‘shipping and _handling_ charges’! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-about-the-duane-reade-baby-club/606213/13 "2011-12-15T19:46:29Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I don’t want a Baby Club. > > I’ll have the Baby Reuben instead. I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs.