# Ask (and Tell) the Prospective Kidney Donor **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012 "2014-01-29T02:52:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/61 "2014-09-29T03:42:09Z")
In my book, hero. It’s difficult to discuss organ donation, whether you’re the donor or the recipient. Of a decently large group of supporters, a whole four called to see if they could donate. Made me feel… worthless?.. I guess. Now that I have a donor, all I hear is that she may change her mind, won’t I feel hideously bad if she subsequently needs a kindney, and my mother said I should not allow this other person to donate - I should wait for a cadaver. I do worry about her motivation in donating, I do feel awkward when I’m around her. It’s weird from this side. But. You’re frigging saving a life. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/62 "2014-09-29T04:27:36Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > In my book, hero. > > It’s difficult to discuss organ donation, whether you’re the donor or the recipient. Of a decently large group of supporters, a whole four called to see if they could donate. Made me feel… worthless?.. I guess. Now that I have a donor, all I hear is that she may change her mind, won’t I feel hideously bad if she subsequently needs a kindney, and my mother said I should not allow this other person to donate - I should wait for a cadaver. I do worry about her motivation in donating, I do feel awkward when I’m around her. It’s weird from this side. > > But. You’re frigging saving a life. Awesome. It must be awfully hard for you to have to ask for something like that. I know my recipient has had mixed feelings about accepting my donation. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/63 "2014-09-29T16:28:12Z")
Best of luck and keep us posted! A local woman was an altruistic kidney donor a few years ago and wrote a wonderful memoir about it: [Lost in Transplantation](http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Transplantation-Memoir-Unconventional-Organ/dp/0967038448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412007637&sr=8-1&keywords=lost+in+transplantation) by Eldonna Edwards. It is a terrific book on its own but as a kidney donor I’m sure you would enjoy it even more. I have met Eldonna a few times and she is a lovely woman and has been doing very well since the surgery. She has a facebook page and if you reached out to her I’m sure she would respond. She would be a great person to talk to about what you’re going through! ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/64 "2014-09-30T00:56:54Z")
> [@Wednesday\_Evening](#): > > Best of luck and keep us posted! > > A local woman was an altruistic kidney donor a few years ago and wrote a wonderful memoir about it: [Lost in Transplantation](http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Transplantation-Memoir-Unconventional-Organ/dp/0967038448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412007637&sr=8-1&keywords=lost+in+transplantation) by Eldonna Edwards. It is a terrific book on its own but as a kidney donor I’m sure you would enjoy it even more. I have met Eldonna a few times and she is a lovely woman and has been doing very well since the surgery. She has a facebook page and if you reached out to her I’m sure she would respond. She would be a great person to talk to about what you’re going through! Thanks! I looked her up and we chatted a bit. I’m going to get her book as soon as I get a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2014, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/65 "2014-09-30T08:07:07Z")
So far as I can see, it’s even more heroic than the classic ‘running into a burning building’ to drag someone out or ‘diving off a bridge to save a drowning stranger’ classic type of heroic. That’s a spur if the moment decision, carried through with adrenalin, but this is a deliberate planned act, done in full knowledge of the risks, with plenty of time to back out. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible, for you and the recipient. I’ll send healing energy, I hope the crystals are aligned properly in the recovery room! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/66 "2014-10-02T18:59:36Z")
Other than taking leave from work, is this costing you, the donor, any money? If so, what is it you’re expected to pay for? ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/67 "2014-10-02T20:10:52Z")
**Silvorange** , as someone who will be needing a kidney in the future, (IgA Nephropathy) thanks for doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012/68 "2014-10-02T22:41:39Z")
I lived! Surgery was Tuesday morning. I left the hospital this morning(Thursday). I could have gone yesterday evening if I had wanted to, but I decided that I could use the convenience of the adjustable bed for another night. I haven’t had any pain meds since the first evening. I stopped using the PCA pump due to some nausea which continued through the night (dry heaves after surgery suck), but I didn’t need it anyway. I’m sleepy, and sore when I move around. I was glad I took some pants that were a size too large to the hospital for when I left, because this bloated belly does not want to be sucked in. Right now, I’m mostly eating crackers with peanut butter and lounging in the hotel room or by the pool. Not bad. My recipient is doing well, too. The kidney started working right away. He left the hospital a few hours after I did. He has to take 18 medications to my 2 and be very careful about infection. > [@](#): > > Other than taking leave from work, is this costing you, the donor, any money? If so, what is it you’re expected to pay for? The recipient, hospital, and insurance are covering our airfare, hotel, car rental, and all medical expenses. We are covering our time off work, food, entertainment, etc. > [@](#): > > Silvorange, as someone who will be needing a kidney in the future, (IgA Nephropathy) > thanks for doing this. That is what my recipient has. Keep yourself as healthy as you can so you’ll be ready. We could have done this transplant much sooner if we hadn’t both been obese. The work we have done on our fitness (he lost 107 lbs, I lost 100) has made recovery so much easier! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-and-tell-the-prospective-kidney-donor/680012.md?page=3)