# Ask Bob (the Chick tract guy) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 9, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825 "2003-02-09T04:09:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/181 "2003-02-11T00:38:50Z")
> [@](#): > > [ibong\* > Why is it important that harry potter has a son? I mean, the person who writes harry potter is just interested in the money. > > Honestly, do I care if harry poter has a kid or not? Why can’t he get into a love affair with bosugodora and birth the pineapple man who actually is a chick?(no pun intended) > > So,prove that God exists. > > Just prove it. > > Also, prove that evolution is false. > > Anyways, don’t be so sure that you get into heaven. Has god went up to you and said, in dolby 5.1 surround sound, “YOU ARE IN HEAVEN!!!”? I don’t think so. Your Satanic Pineapple did not die for your sins! You know why they’re called Pokemons? Because they are demons and when you are in Hell they’re going to poke you, man! Haw, haw haw! The Bible proves that that God created the Earth. Everything in science proves creationism is true and that evolution is [FALSE](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp)! And what about the second law of thermometers, huh? What about THAT? Your own science proves you wrong! A monkey did not die for your sins! God sent me an e-mail verfying my salvation! Wher is YOUR e-mail? I’ll tell you where, NOWHERE! You will burn for your contempt, **bong** , you will smoke and you will burn! Hey, how about that? You’ll be a smoking bong! haw, haw, haw! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/182 "2003-02-11T00:43:55Z")
Your apacomon is the most vile, and evil demon I have ever seen! Your demon laughs at you! Your demon wants to drag you into the lake of fire! God will burn your apocomon, too! His non-existence will not save him! Apocomon has no son! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/183 "2003-02-11T00:52:07Z")
I know the satanic pineapple didn’t die. Pokemon CANT die! It’s the second law of THERMODYNAMICS, not thermometers. I know the monkey didn’t die for me. And what about APOCAMON? What contempt? Pokemon means Pocket monsters. Japan spells funny. If you insult anything like harry potter, insult neon genesis evangelion. the bad guys are “Angels”, just bad ones. What is an evangelion anyways? Why haven’t you said anything about APOCAMON? God can change his mind. It can be part of his plan. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/184 "2003-02-11T00:53:28Z")
I have a question: In the “Big Daddy” tract, it says that gluons are “made up” since nobody has ever seen them. Instead, it was JESUS who holds atoms together. Does this mean that Jesus is the Strong Nuclear Force? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/185 "2003-02-11T00:58:35Z")
He isn’t MY apocamon. They don’t have a comic where the apocamon laugh at me. It is not part of the book of revelation where they laugh at me. it is not part of the book of revelation where the apocamon want to drag me into the lake of fire. What does it matter that the apocamon have no son? They Have GOD, THE KJV GOD, AS A CHARACTER! Maybe god LIKES APOCAMON! If your GOD makes the apocamon simply to torture it, your GOD is insane and sadistic. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/186 "2003-02-11T01:01:43Z")
> [@](#): > > What is an evangelion anyways? > > Why haven’t you said anything about APOCAMON? Evangelion is not a word, evangelions are vile mockeries of Christ and His angels. It is a cartoon created in the Devil infested country of Japan, with their Idolotrous Shinto temples and their godless Kung Fu! Anime is an invention of satan and it smells like devils and daeth! I have spoken enough of the foul demon apocomon! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/187 "2003-02-11T01:17:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _Blalron_ > I have a question: > > In the “Big Daddy” tract, it says that gluons are “made up” since nobody has ever seen them. Instead, it was JESUS who holds atoms together. > > Does this mean that Jesus is the Strong Nuclear Force? Jesus is stronger than ANY nuclear force! Are you familiar with the string theory of strong nuclear force? Well who is the one who was STRUNG UP for your sins? Jesus Christ, that’s who! Your physics is all just based on faith and speculation. Christianity is based on the solid foundation of the Bible! Einstein did not die for your sins! > [@](#): > > _bong_ > They don’t have a comic where the apocamon laugh at me. It is not part of the book of revelation where they laugh at me. it is not part of the book of revelation where the apocamon want to drag me into the lake of fire. What does it matter that the apocamon have no son? They Have GOD, THE KJV GOD, AS A CHARACTER! Maybe god LIKES APOCAMON! If your GOD makes the apocamon simply to torture it, your GOD is insane and sadistic. The Devil has many caricatures of the one true faith! The Devil creates imposters to deceive you! The Church of Rome is a parody of Christianity! The Mormons and Jehova’s Witnesses also mock the Son of God! And now These obscene CARTOONS! They are intended to blind you and make you worship a false God. The God of Evangelion is just an imposter! He is one of satan’s demons. He will drag you down to Hell, and hell is no cartoon! God did not make apocomon, the lost souls of Japan have made it through Satan’s inspiration, but their kung fu will not save them in Hell! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/188 "2003-02-11T01:28:58Z")
the apocamon are based upon the book of revelations. The apocamon do not laugh at me. in the book of revelation, the angels do not laugh. the apocamon do not wish to drag me into the lake of fire. the angels of revelations dont want that also. Apocamon is not vile. The have god as a character. and not a demon god, The christian god. Who is good.Apocamon needs no son. If your god wishes to give life to a being simply to torture it, that is a truly evil act.If your god wishes to give life to a being simply to torture it, I do not see how you can worship such a monster. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/189 "2003-02-11T01:30:43Z")
Whats this? i spy an elderly lady in a housecoat and curlers… "Bob, you’re out of the house on your own again! Havn’t I told you that you’re to stay inside the yard! The DEVIL makes work for idle hands, come in and help me wax the floors. You know jesus loves shiny floors Bob. Bob, stop looking at that woman! The wages of sin are DEATH! Come inside and help your mother!" ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/190 "2003-02-11T01:35:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Jesus is stronger than ANY nuclear force! Are you familiar with the string theory of strong nuclear force? Well who is the one who was STRUNG UP for your sins? Jesus Christ, that’s who! Your physics is all just based on faith and speculation. Christianity is based on the solid foundation of the Bible! Einstein did not die for your sins! > The Devil has many caricatures of the one true faith! The Devil creates imposters to deceive you! The Church of Rome is a parody of Christianity! The Mormons and Jehova’s Witnesses also mock the Son of God! And now These obscene CARTOONS! They are intended to blind you and make you worship a false God. The God of Evangelion is just an imposter! He is one of satan’s demons. He will drag you down to Hell, and hell is no cartoon! > > God did not make apocomon, the lost souls of Japan have made it through Satan’s inspiration, but their kung fu will not save them in Hell! \*\* So is religion. Who has seen any proof that god exists? There is no god in neon genesis evangelion, only horrifying beasts. But god made the japanese and Satan. If they get tortured because god wanted them to be tortured. it is the same thing. It will save them from nuts like you. (hope that wasn’t hatespeech) ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/191 "2003-02-11T01:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Jesus is stronger than ANY nuclear force! Are you familiar with the string theory of strong nuclear force? Well who is the one who was STRUNG UP for your sins? Jesus Christ, that’s who! Your physics is all just based on faith and speculation. Christianity is based on the solid foundation of the Bible! Einstein did not die for your sins! > The Devil has many caricatures of the one true faith! The Devil creates imposters to deceive you! The Church of Rome is a parody of Christianity! The Mormons and Jehova’s Witnesses also mock the Son of God! And now These obscene CARTOONS! They are intended to blind you and make you worship a false God. The God of Evangelion is just an imposter! He is one of satan’s demons. He will drag you down to Hell, and hell is no cartoon! > > God did not make apocomon, the lost souls of Japan have made it through Satan’s inspiration, but their kung fu will not save them in Hell! \*\* We have no proof that god exists besides a book made 2000 years ago. There is no god in neon genesis evangelion, only horrible beasts. God made the japanese. If god made them knowing that they would be tortured, it is the same thing. Kung-fu will save them from other, more evil people. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/192 "2003-02-11T01:41:17Z")
Ignore the second post. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/193 "2003-02-11T01:45:11Z")
> [@](#): > > So is religion. Who has seen any proof that god exists? > > There is no god in neon genesis evangelion, only horrifying beasts. > > But god made the japanese and Satan. If they get tortured because god wanted them to be tortured. it is the same thing. > > It will save them from nuts like you. > > (hope that wasn’t hatespeech) The BIBLE proves that God exists! (KJV) God made the Japanese and Lucifer, but they have chosen to reject the love of Jesus Christ of their own free will! If they will not accept Christ’s sacrifice, they will taste eternal torment! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/194 "2003-02-11T01:47:16Z")
THat doesn’t change the fact that god knew they’d be tortured because they believe in different things, ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/195 "2003-02-11T01:52:39Z")
How Hot is Hell? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/196 "2003-02-11T02:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > THat doesn’t change the fact that god knew they’d be tortured because they believe in different things, God gave them the choice to accept the love of Jesus Christ and they rejected it!! Give it up, bong, Chick logic never gets any better than this. 😉 > [@](#): > > How Hot is Hell? [Real](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5015/5015_01.asp) hot! ---
**Author:** ![Hobgoblin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Hobgoblin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hobgoblin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/197 "2003-02-11T11:28:20Z")
Dear Bob, I used to think that, despite my inherent non-Christianess, the fact that I live a life of not harming others and being nice to children and dogs and sucklike, when I died I would still get into heavon (if it exists) cos I heard God was like, a totally dead-on nice dude, who’d forgive me. Then I read of your work, and realised I was WRONG and would BURN IN HELL anyway… Then I read that if I was a total evil bitch, BUT recanted on my death bed after a visit from yourself, I’d be SAVED. So I’m actually better off living a life of sin, so long as I spend five minutes at the end being kind of sorry? Just checking. Anyway, if the bible (KJV) told you to paint your ass blue and hop anticlockwise round the park every second Tuesday of the month, would you have to do that too? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/198 "2003-02-11T14:35:22Z")
1. What **was** the fruit? 2.What denomination is the right one? 1. WHo really got the most votes in Florida? 2. How did you fit all the animals on the Ark? ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/199 "2003-02-11T14:52:02Z")
Dear Bob Why have you not answered me? Have you something to hide :dubious: I’m still waiting… ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/200 "2003-02-11T16:28:45Z")
Hi Bob! I’m one of those, young, corrupted, bisexual pagans. Since I’m going to hell already, I have some questions: 1. Do we get to practice cannibalism and eat unbaptized babies in hell? 2. Can I bring my cat? She’s a black cat, so she’s automatically associated with witchcraft and all things evil. 3. Is it true that Saddam Hussein is Satan’s lover? 4. If not, can I be Satan’s lover? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=11)