# Ask Bob (the Chick tract guy) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 9, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825 "2003-02-09T04:09:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/241 "2003-02-12T21:54:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Does heaven have any really good draft beer? [Jesus makes his own beer!](http://www.beerchurch.com/jesus.htm) ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/242 "2003-02-12T21:56:47Z")
Say, Bob, have you considered changing your operating procedures? I mean, the lake of fire stuff wasn’t really working for me, but your answers to swampbear have piqued my interest. I think if you concentrated more on the sodomy/bondage/beer angle and less on the hell factor you might attract more sinners. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/243 "2003-02-12T22:04:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > **They had their chance at mercy and they refused it! Infinite love has its limits! Jesus will not be mocked** So? God is omniscient. Therefore, god knows that they would burn in hell before they were made. And if love is truly infinite, it has no limits. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/244 "2003-02-12T22:13:57Z")
Please give the exact date of the Rapture. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/245 "2003-02-12T22:15:13Z")
If jesus will not be mocked, he wouldn’t have been mocked by the thief and the people at his crucifixion. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/246 "2003-02-12T22:16:26Z")
> [@](#): > > _2trew_ > Say, Bob, have you considered changing your operating procedures? I mean, the lake of fire stuff wasn’t really working for me, but your answers to swampbear have piqued my interest. > > I think if you concentrated more on the sodomy/bondage/beer angle and less on the hell factor you might attract more sinners. Hmm,…I will have to speak to Jack about a new tract! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/247 "2003-02-12T22:27:41Z")
> [@](#): > > _bong_ > So? God is omniscient. Therefore, god knows that they would burn in hell before they were made. > > And if love is truly infinite, it has no limits. They CHOSE to burn in Hell! God’s unconditional love has very specific requirements! > [@](#): > > _vanilla_ > Please give the exact date of the Rapture. The angels refuse to bring the rapture until the last LOTR movie comes out, then, they say, they will think about it! > [@](#): > > _bong_ > If jesus will not be mocked, he wouldn’t have been mocked by the thief and the people at his crucifixion. They are not mocking now! They are burning in the eternal lake of fire! haw, haw, haw! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/248 "2003-02-13T01:12:00Z")
God would know. Unconditional love can’t have requirements. If it does it isn’t unconditional. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/249 "2003-02-13T01:29:24Z")
bong, you are getting this, right? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/250 "2003-02-13T01:47:38Z")
Yup. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/251 "2003-02-13T02:19:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _bong_ > Unconditional love can’t have requirements. If it does it isn’t unconditional. Who are you to put limits on Jesus Christ? Did you die on the cross? Did you create the universe? Are you in a U2 cover band? No! Only Christ the Lord is all these things, and he can do ANYTHING! He can make a square circle, He can make cold fire and he can set conditions on unconditional love! ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/252 "2003-02-13T02:23:21Z")
In case you missed my earlier post: Why do you like to visit burn victims so much? And don’t they get angry at you for preaching at them while they are suffering in agony with third degree burns? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/253 "2003-02-13T02:25:53Z")
Ugh, I despise people that completely rape christianity and use it as a crutch and justification for all their little pet beliefs and prejudices!!! Is that what this Bob guy did? (I missed that thread). Ya don’t shove your beliefs down others’ throats, ya don’t argue about “whose religion is better” (i.e. catholics and protestants, or baptists and pents) ya live and let live, and if you have a chance to do good, ya do it!! grrrrrr ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/254 "2003-02-13T02:40:41Z")
> [@](#): > > _Blalron_ > In case you missed my earlier post: > > Why do you like to visit burn victims so much? And don’t they get angry at you for preaching at them while they are suffering in agony with third degree burns? I love the smell of burning flesh! It reminds me of the eternal flames of Hell! Sometimes they get angry, but that’s because they can’t handle the TRUTH! And the truth is don’t even know that the burning has only begun! Once I have told them the truth about Christ they have no excuse! If they still reject God’s love, I am forced to unplug their respirators! That will teach them to throw bedpans at my head, haw, haw, haw! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/255 "2003-02-13T02:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Canvas Shoes_ > Ugh, I despise people that completely rape christianity and use it as a crutch and justification for all their little pet beliefs and prejudices!!! I couldn’t agree more! That’s why the Mormons, the Jehova’s Witnesses and the Devil’s own Catholics will roast in eternal flames! How dare they corrupt the loving message of Christ! > [@](#): > > Is that what this Bob guy did? (I missed that thread). Psst… **Canvas** , if you’re serious, I’m parodying the character of “Bob” in this [Chick Tract series](http://www.chick.com/catalog/bibleseries.asp) Read a few of these and you’ll understand everything. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/256 "2003-02-13T03:07:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*I couldn’t agree more! That’s why the Mormons, the Jehova’s Witnesses and the Devil’s own Catholics will roast in eternal flames! How dare they corrupt the loving message of Christ! > > Psst… **Canvas** , if you’re serious, I’m parodying the character of “Bob” in this [Chick Tract series](http://www.chick.com/catalog/bibleseries.asp) Read a few of these and you’ll understand everything. \*\* Oh for pete’s sake!!! :smack: Oh what a dumb girl I am (giggling). I thought he was someone from here pushing his “Version” down everyone’s throats. Snort! Yes, I remember those from church. I hated them even then. That’s the trouble with organized religion. (specially baptists, the church I attended all during my youth). They feel they have to “dumb down” everything. Argh, I could go on and on with how disgusting that type of thing is, and how it doesn’t “make points” etc. But from the looks of this thread, everyone has that down pat! Thanks for the link so that I could catch up though! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/257 "2003-02-13T04:55:21Z")
Uhhh, you’re not from around here, are you, **Canvas Shoes**? Chick Tracts have been prime Pit-thread fodder for many, many years. Always fun, but they tend to peter out after about a hundred posts. We’re quite fortunate that **Diogenes** and **kingpengvin** came up with the idea of starting an “Ask the . . .” format. This is one of the best Chick-related threads yet! Enough hijack. Allow me to step up to the plate and offer up a little softball for our friend Bob. So, Bob. Where does the Reverend Mr. Phred Felps and his little band of snuggly-wugglies fit into the grand scheme of Jesus Christ’s Master Plan for Universal Domina – uhhh, Salvation? Do JC and JTC\* share with you their thoughts and feelings about his activities? \*[sub]Jesus Christ and Jack T. Chick – BTW, I have it on good authority that the “T” stands for “Tiberius” – another good reason for SW fans to hate and fear the Trekkies.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/258 "2003-02-13T05:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _kaylasdad99_ > So, Bob. Where does the Reverend Mr. Phred Felps and his little band of snuggly-wugglies fit into the grand scheme of Jesus Christ’s Master Plan for Universal Domina – uhhh, Salvation? Do JC and JTC\* share with you their thoughts and feelings about his activities? Ah, the good reverend Phelps is a true American hero. It is very unfortunate that he has been targeted by viscious homosexual hate groups simply for telling the truth about God’s love. The Reverend and I speak often. We’re talking about doing a tract together. We want to depict the story of Matthew Sheppard and his eternal punishment in Hell. Bob and I will share the message of Christ with Sheppard’s killers and they will be saved and go to Heaven. It should be a corker! Haw, haw, haw! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/259 "2003-02-13T07:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Ah, the good reverend Phelps is a true American hero. It is very unfortunate that he has been targeted by viscious homosexual hate groups simply for telling the truth about God’s love. The Reverend and I speak often. We’re talking about doing a tract together. We want to depict the story of Matthew Sheppard and his eternal punishment in Hell. Bob and I will share the message of Christ with Sheppard’s killers and they will be saved and go to Heaven. It should be a corker! Haw, haw, haw! \*\* Hmmmm… So – exactly how _close_ is your relationship with the good Reverend? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/260 "2003-02-13T07:47:56Z")
> [@](#): > > So – exactly how close is your relationship with the good Reverend? We’re very close, indeed! We enjoy the usual guy stuff together-- working out, taking saunas, screaming at burn victims, showering together, skinny dipping, picketing funerals-- all the usual manly activities! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=14)