# Ask Bob (the Chick tract guy) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 9, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825 "2003-02-09T04:09:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/141 "2003-02-10T17:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > - Diogenes channeling Bob\*3. Prayer circles, potluck dinners, Touched By An Angel parties, square dancing, bingo. Hi Bob. 1. So what is there to do in Hell on a Saturday night? The reason I ask is because after hearing what there is to do in heaven, an eternity in hellfire doesn’t sound so bad. 2. Does it bother you that the days of the week are named after pagan gods? 3. Why Haw Haw Haw? It sounds a little forced. > [@](#): > > Don’t worry, though Chick may pass from this world, Chick tracts are eternal and they are drawn by Christ Himself, who is Lord! Are you saying that Chick is Christ?!! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/142 "2003-02-10T17:14:19Z")
Of course Moses didn’t die for our sins. They never SAID he was! So what has he always been, hmm? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/143 "2003-02-10T17:19:15Z")
You die.and get killed. and stuff. it’s just not square dancing. and what is hell for a masochist? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/144 "2003-02-10T17:36:42Z")
What does God think of pokemon? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/145 "2003-02-10T18:03:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _bong_ > I’m not putting god to the test. I’m putting YOU to the test. > > So there’s no difference between Jewish and Christian? What about Jews not thinking Jesus was/is God? You have misread my words! I said that Jesus is NOT a Jew! The Jews who rejected Christ will have to answer to Him on Judgement day! The old covenant is DEAD! The only laws that matter are the laws of JESUS CHRIST! > [@](#): > > Of course Moses didn’t die for our sins. They never SAID he was! > So what has he always been, hmm? Exactly! Moses was only a prohet! He was not the Lord and the Jews who worship Moses will burn in eternal Hellfire. Moses had no son! Jesus has always been LORD! Jesus is the eternal King of Kings. He was not created by Mary! She is not the mother of God, she was only the receptacle of His Holy Seed! Those who follow Satan’s Pope will burn for their Pagan prayers to Mary! Mary is not Lord! The Lord has no vagina! > [@](#): > > _brujo_ > Hi Bob. > > 1. So what is there to do in Hell on a Saturday night? The reason I ask is because after hearing what there is to do in heaven, an eternity in hellfire doesn’t sound so bad. > > 2. Does it bother you that the days of the week are named after pagan gods? > > 3. Why Haw Haw Haw? It sounds a little forced. 1.) Orgies, concerts, frat parties, drag races, raves, whoring, gambling, drinking, drugs, laser tag. 2.) It is the work of Satan that the days are named after His demons! Odin had no Son! Saturn did not die for your sins! I would prefer: Christ day, God day, Holy Spirit Day, Eternal Hellfire day, Allah had no son day, Damnation day and Bob day. 3.) My laugh is the laugh of the righteous! > [@](#): > > Are you saying that Chick is Christ?!! Chick tracts are the inspired word of Jesus Christ. Jack Chick is merely a sock! Please don’t tell anyone! ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/146 "2003-02-10T18:09:59Z")
Dear Bob, last week I was discussing one of your wonderful adventures… you know the one with the Fireman who you ambushed in the burn ward. (HAW HAW HAW) I mentioned I would like to open a thread on asking Jack Chick. Of course God was angry with me and made sure I could not get to my computer until now. Here you are and I wonder… Has my idea been cleverly plagerized? Very cleverly I may add. Of course it could be a coincidence but because God has a planm for everything we both know there is no such thing a coincidence. I guess what I’m trying to say is… Why does every person you witness to die shortly after your talk. Especially those non believers. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/147 "2003-02-10T18:10:27Z")
> [@](#): > > and what is hell for a masochist? A comfy chair! > [@](#): > > What does God think of pokemon? Piccachu is Satan’s demon! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/148 "2003-02-10T18:30:55Z")
What about Bosugodora, the metal, skull wearing, earthquake causing dragon? that sounds a bit better, eh? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/149 "2003-02-10T18:33:37Z")
Jews worship GOD, not moses. Had they worshipped Moses, the creation story would have included MOSES. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/150 "2003-02-10T18:46:57Z")
Dear Bob: Am I going to hell? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/151 "2003-02-10T20:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _bong_ > Jews worship GOD, not moses. Had they worshipped Moses, the creation story would have included MOSES That’s right! The creation story does NOT include Moses, it includes JESUS CHRIST! The laws of Moses have been expunged! The Jews have been taught to hate Christ! They have been misled by the false church of Rome, the church that masterminded the holocaust as a Satanic plot to make Christians look bad. The tragedy is that all those Jews died in their sin and now they are burning in the Eternal flames of hell! This makes it difficult to witness to the Jew! The Jew throws rocks at my head! But he will not being throwing rocks when he is in the lake of fire! > [@](#): > > _Peyote Coyote_ > Dear Bob: > Am I going to hell? Yes! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/152 "2003-02-10T20:25:41Z")
You didn’t answer my question about bosugodora! Who is a pokemon How do you know he’s going to hell? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/153 "2003-02-10T20:30:51Z")
All pokemons are Satans demons in disguise! They are out to corrupt and deceive innocent children! Bosugodura had no son! ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/154 "2003-02-10T20:39:45Z")
Dear Bob 1. How is it exactly that Mary got pregnant with Jesus? 2. What does Jesus look like? 3. Are there any good musicians in heaven? ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/155 "2003-02-10T21:01:08Z")
To expand further on **brujo** ’s query, what’s this I hear about Heaven having a “Hell of a Band”? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/156 "2003-02-10T21:02:25Z")
But satan doesn’t use technology! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/157 "2003-02-10T21:17:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _brujo_ > Dear Bob > > 1. How is it exactly that Mary got pregnant with Jesus? > > 2. What does Jesus look like? > > 3. Are there any good musicians in heaven? 1. The Holy Ghost [came](http://biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=LUKE%2B1%3A35&showfn=on&showxref=on&language=english&version=KJV&x=14&y=12) upon her! 2. Kind of kike Al pacino in _Serpico_. 3. Jesus is in a U2 cover band. He likes to pretend He’s Bono. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/158 "2003-02-10T21:19:09Z")
And bosugodoras CAN breed. With other pokemon. Therefore, bosugodora CAN have a son. But it may be a giant pineapple creature with a sombrero and a beak who shoots blasts of water. HA! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/159 "2003-02-10T21:21:49Z")
However, the armored godzilla(Groudon) can’t have a son, because he’s an it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/160 "2003-02-10T21:22:44Z")
> [@](#): > > _Joe K_ > To expand further on brujo’s query, what’s this I hear about Heaven having a “Hell of a Band”? That’s Jesus’ Cover band, U3. > [@](#): > > _bong_ > But satan doesn’t use technology! Cite? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=9)