# Ask Bob (the Chick tract guy) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 9, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825 "2003-02-09T04:09:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/161 "2003-02-10T21:25:56Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > [i[Catch-22 is an anti-war book! That makes it a tool of SATAN! What are the first four letters of Heller? HELL, THAT’S what!_ So you WANT world war 2 to happen again? HA! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/162 "2003-02-10T21:27:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _bong_ > And bosugodoras CAN breed. > > With other pokemon. > > Therefore, bosugodora CAN have a son. > > But it may be a giant pineapple creature with a sombrero and a beak who shoots blasts of water. > > HA! Bosugodura did not die for your sins! Pokemon smells like devils and death! > [@](#): > > However, the armored godzilla(Groudon) can’t have a son, because he’s an it. Then he is a PERVERT! He will be cast into the fire with the Devil and his demons! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/163 "2003-02-10T21:28:25Z")
So you accept the thought that the meaning of life is 42, yet you don’t believe the idea that satan is too stupid to use a microwave without killing himself?(He did try to get rid of an omnipotent being…) ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/164 "2003-02-10T21:32:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Bosugodura did not die for your sins! Pokemon smells like devils and death! > > Then he is a PERVERT! He will be cast into the fire with the Devil and his demons! \*\* But pokemon are E-L-E-C-T-R-O-N-I-C. They have no smell, therefore they can’t smell like death. And I never SAID that bosugodora died for your sins. So, what about people who were born without genitals?Are they perverts? And pokemon don’t exist in the real world. They can’t be thrown into a fire without existing. HA! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/165 "2003-02-10T21:34:26Z")
> [@](#): > > So you WANT world war 2 to happen again? > > HA! Jesus is not some hippie pansy! Jesus did not come to bring peace but a [sword](http://biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=MATT%2B10%3A34&showfn=on&showxref=on&language=english&version=KJV&x=16&y=7)! Not only that but [FIRE](http://biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=LUKE%2B12%3A49&showfn=on&showxref=on&language=english&version=KJV&x=13&y=9)! Fire is cool! Fire, fire, fire!! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/166 "2003-02-10T21:36:10Z")
But what if YOU were the one who got tortured to death, and upon dying, got booted into Hell? HA! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/167 "2003-02-10T21:38:36Z")
Does anyone think this would be a good consversation in a Jack Chick comic? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/168 "2003-02-10T21:44:24Z")
bong: It would certainly freak out some of his readers. Bob: I’ve noticed that Chick Comix feature some really hot-looking chicks. Could you please fix me up with one of them? I’ve been so hor–, er lonely, and I’m sure a lovely young lady could lead me to the Lord. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/169 "2003-02-10T21:44:47Z")
> [@](#): > > But pokemon are E-L-E-C-T-R-O-N-I-C. They have no smell, therefore they can’t smell like death. > > And I never SAID that bosugodora died for your sins. > So, what about people who were born without genitals?Are they perverts? And pokemon don’t exist in the real world. They can’t be thrown into a fire without existing. > > HA! Pokemon’s are magic creatures like Harry Potter! They are witches and demonic sorcerors! Harry Potter has no son! Pokemon’s are the Devil’s enchantment! It’s like that [Dungeons & Dragons tract](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp)! They will indoctrtinate you into their Satanic conspiracy. satan is Bad, bad news! They don’t have to exist to suffer Jesus’ wrath! Jesus can burn anything! ANYTHING! Fire…fire… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/170 "2003-02-10T21:49:11Z")
I’ve bee playing Dungeons & Dragons for 24 years, Bob, and have been a Dungeon Master for about 19 years. Am I so corrupted that I can really summon monsters & demons & elementals? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/171 "2003-02-10T21:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > But what if YOU were the one who got tortured to death, and upon dying, got booted into Hell? > > HA! That would never happened because I have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Saviour! I have a free ticket! I checked the little box! [Diogenes voice]just wanted to tell you, **bong** , your sig cracks me up. It’s pretty funny on a cumulative level. :D[/Diogenes voice] > [@](#): > > _Peyote Coyote_ > Bob: I’ve noticed that Chick Comix feature some really hot-looking chicks. Could you please fix me up with one of them? I’ve been so hor–, er lonely, and I’m sure a lovely young lady could lead me to the Lord. Check out the witch in the D&D tract that I linked to. If you want, I can give you her e-mail address! I hear she’s very kinky. You will both burn in Hell, of course! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/172 "2003-02-10T21:55:44Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve bee playing Dungeons & Dragons for 24 years, Bob, and have been a Dungeon Master for about 19 years. Am I so corrupted that I can really summon monsters & demons & elementals? Have you tried? You might as well give it a shot. You’re going to burn in eternal flames anyway! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/173 "2003-02-10T22:00:33Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## I’ve bee playing Dungeons & Dragons for 24 years, Bob, and have been a Dungeon Master for about 19 years. Am I so corrupted that I can really summon monsters & demons & elementals? > > Have you tried? You might as well give it a shot. You’re going to burn in eternal flames anyway! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Bob!!! Now, I can realize my dreams of conquering the world. BWAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/174 "2003-02-10T22:31:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Pokemon’s are magic creatures like Harry Potter! They are witches and demonic sorcerors! Harry Potter has no son! \*\* Harry might be a tad young yet to have (demonic) offspring, but his Satanic credentials have now been established. Be on the lookout for [Harry Potter and the Cookie of Death](http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=529&ncid=529&e=10&u=/ap/20030203/ap_en_ot/vatican_harry_potter). ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/175 "2003-02-10T23:42:47Z")
Why is it important that harry potter has a son? I mean, the person who writes harry potter is just interested in the money. Honestly, do I care if harry poter has a kid or not? Why can’t he get into a love affair with bosugodora and birth the pineapple man who actually is a chick?(no pun intended) So,prove that God exists. Just prove it. Also, prove that evolution is false. Anyways, don’t be so sure that you get into heaven. Has god went up to you and said, in dolby 5.1 surround sound, “YOU ARE IN HEAVEN!!!”? I don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/176 "2003-02-10T23:46:17Z")
And also, HA!! Because I can’t edit, for some reason… And what about APOCAMON, Then? ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/177 "2003-02-10T23:49:33Z")
And If anyones wondering, the link to apocamon is here: [http://www.e-sheep.com/apocamon/](http://www.e-sheep.com/apocamon/) ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/178 "2003-02-10T23:58:09Z")
Anyways, I would LOVE to see Bob and Maudlin murray o’hair in a debate about God. ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/179 "2003-02-11T00:14:14Z")
Bob needs to respond, darnit! We need a silly thread like this! ---
**Author:** ![bong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@bong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bong)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825/180 "2003-02-11T00:33:55Z")
[http://www.e-sheep.com/apocamon/apocadex/images/34\_satan](http://www.e-sheep.com/apocamon/apocadex/images/34_satan) LookathimhestheDevilforgoshsakes! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-bob-the-chick-tract-guy/153825.md?page=10)