# Ask Donald Trump **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012 "2017-12-21T21:17:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/1 "2017-12-21T21:17:56Z")
As as a uuuuuge Christmas present to all of you Donald Trump has agreed to answer any and all questions you may have. To facilitate this just ask your questions in this thread, I’ll forward them to the POTUS, and then post the answers he provides. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/2 "2017-12-21T21:20:33Z")
How do you pick your nose with such short fingers? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/3 "2017-12-21T21:30:27Z")
Mister PopularVoteLoserShitGibbon… Why are you such a disgusting slug piece of shit? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/4 "2017-12-21T21:30:40Z")
Do you really think you can buy your way out of decades of frauds and failed real estate projects? Also, does Mike Pence use too much teeth when he sucks your cock? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/5 "2017-12-21T21:37:10Z")
When are you going to do us all a favor and just fucking die, already? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/6 "2017-12-21T21:48:35Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > How do you pick your nose with such short fingers? > [@Donald Trump](#): > > My fingers are not short! They’re uuuuuuuuuuuuuge! They’re longer than Obama’s fingers. My fingers are so uuuuuuuuuuuuge I couldn’t shove them up my nose if my nose wasn’t so big. Some people say it’s the biggest nose they’ve ever seen, I say the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugest nose they’ve ever seen. That’s another one of my accomplishments as President, having the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugest nose of any president ever. And you don’t want to ask about Hillary’s fingers, you don’t want to know where those fingers have been! … ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/7 "2017-12-21T21:52:41Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Mister PopularVoteLoserShitGibbon… > Why are you such a disgusting slug piece of shit? > [@Donald Trump](#): > > This one is easy to answer. I was born a disgusting slug piece of shit. So was my father, and his father before him. We are the uuuuuuuuuuugest most disgusting slug pieces of shit ever! And I didn’t collude with anyone, there was no collusion, that’s been proven. It’s all just fake news from the media. That’s all they do is fake news. If you hear them say I’m not the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugest most disgusting slug piece of shit ever it’s just fake news. … ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/8 "2017-12-21T22:01:49Z")
Donald, do you think you could hook me up with [del]Melina[/del], [del]Malea[/del], [del]Mililla[/del], your old lady? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/9 "2017-12-21T22:02:10Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Do you really think you can buy your way out of decades of frauds and failed real estate projects? There’s no fraud! There’s no failures! You can ask anybody. All of my real estate projects have been uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge successes. Everyone wants part of my real estate deals because they’re the best real estate deals ever. I’ve build buildings all over the world. Some of them with my own two uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hands. Everywhere. Everywhere in the world. Including Russia. But not Russia, I never did any business in Russia. Everywhere else though. Everywhere. > [@](#): > > Also, does Mike Pence use too much teeth when he sucks your cock? You know, I don’t do follow up questions, but this I’ll answer this one anyway. Mike’s a fantastic cock sucker. No teeth, just the right amount tongue. He’s good because he’s been sucking cock all his life. And in the past year he’s gotten much better at it because I had him practice on every GOP senator and congressman. That’s right, it was my idea to have him practice, that’s how we’ll make America great again, by having Mike Pence suck everyone’s cock! [/quote] … ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/10 "2017-12-21T22:06:31Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Do you really think you can buy your way out of decades of frauds and failed real estate projects? > > Also, does Mike Pence use too much teeth when he sucks your cock? Will the public blowjob from Republican members of Congress be a weekly thing? Were you aware of the practice of snowballing? Did you know you could make money on this by making it Pay-Per-View? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/11 "2017-12-21T22:11:56Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > When are you going to do us all a favor and just fucking die, already? > [@Donald Trump](#): > > I wasn’t ever going to die because the Democrat tax code wanted to steal all the money I’m leaving to Ivanka and Donald Jr. with their estate tax! I wasn’t going to leave anything for Eric and the rest, they haven’t been as loyal to me, but Ivanka and Donald Jr. will now get all my money when I die which will make America Great Again. Not Great Again because I’m dead, America will be much worse off when I’m dead, but I’m not going to die, I’m going to make America great again while I’m alive. You’ll see, one day they’ll only talk about how bad Obama and Hillary were as presidents and how I was the best one ever. But not after I’m dead because I’m not going to die. … ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/12 "2017-12-21T22:22:00Z")
Which is a bigger loser: your presidency or this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/13 "2017-12-21T22:23:01Z")
Oh oh - I’m starting to see some of your responses, **Tripolar** , in quotes, and some not. Does this…oh please god don’t day so…does this actually mean That Guy is actually fielding some of those questions, himself, and you’re actually in the O.O. with him, right now? Anyway, if you could enact a law that allowed you to grab Nancy Pelosi’s pussy any old time of the day and without any consequences, would it be good reason for you to appoint your doctor, the esteemed Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, to replace Rex Tillerson? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/14 "2017-12-21T22:23:03Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Donald, do you think you could hook me up with [del]Melina[/del], [del]Malea[/del], [del]Mililla[/del], your old lady? > [@Donald Trump](#): > > I can try. She may not like the idea though. When we got married I promised her she wouldn’t have to work as a hooker anymore. I always keep my promises, but I’d make her do it if you vote for me and tell me how grateful you are that I am president. Don’t get your hopes up to high, she really is good looking, she’s the goodest looking First Lady ever, way better looking than Michelle or Hillary, but she’s not that great in the sack. Mike Pence sucks cock way better than she does. No, no, really. I don’t know how she made a living blowing guys at the bus station before I married her. But in the sack that pussy has been grabbed too many times. But she looks good and that’s what I wanted, I can pay any GOP politician for sex but none of them look as good as her. So yes, I won’t break my promise and sell her on the streets anymore, but If you do something for me I’ll make her do something for you. … ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/15 "2017-12-21T22:25:10Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Oh oh - I’m starting to see some of your responses, **Tripolar** , in quotes, and some not. > Does this…oh please god don’t day so…does this actually mean That Guy is actually fielding some of those questions, himself, and you’re actually in the O.O. with him, right now? Yeah, I couldn’t get him to join up so I have to reformat and paste in his responses. I think from reading his answers you can tell these are all genuine responses right from the horses ass. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/16 "2017-12-21T22:28:43Z")
What commissary items do you think people in prison consider a delicacy, since McDonalds isn’t served there? I hear ramen noodles and tuna fish served in a plastic pouch are very popular items. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/17 "2017-12-21T22:29:32Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Anyway, if you could enact a law that allowed you to grab Nancy Pelosi’s pussy any old time of the day and without any consequences, would it be good reason for you to appoint your doctor, the esteemed Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, to replace Rex Tillerson? That would be like grabbing one of those rawhide chew toys. in fact, that’s what I’ll call her from now on; “Rawhide” Pelosi. To be honest, I’d rather grab Tillerson. Or that Duckworth chick, I’ve got a thing for ammpys. “Stumpy”, I call her. “Stumpy” Gives a terrible handjob. No control whatsoever. I turn to Mitch for that. “Mitch The Bitch”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/18 "2017-12-21T22:34:17Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Anyway, if you could enact a law that allowed you to grab Nancy Pelosi’s pussy any old time of the day and without any consequences, would it be good reason for you to appoint your doctor, the esteemed Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, to replace Rex Tillerson? > [@Donald Trump](#): > > No, I wouldn’t do that. I don’t want to grab Nancy Pelosi’s pussy ever. Now Kirsten Gillabrand, she was begging me to grab her pussy. She was willing to do anything for me for a little money. But lots of people are willing to do anything for me, every Republican in congress just fucked themselves for me because I asked them to. I can grab any pussy I want anytime I want, I don’t need to grab Nancy Pelosi’s pussy. But I’m going to replace Tillerson with somebody because he’s a moron. And he’s not loyal. Harold’s loyal. He’s always been loyal. I won’t go to a doctor who isn’t loyal. If I did I might have been drafted and sent to Vietnam instead of getting to Make America Great again. A loyal doctor like Harold Bornstein, who many people are already saying is the best doctor ever, better than any doctor Obama or Hillary had, would be a great Secretary of State. But Rex isn’t going anywhere. None of my people are going anywhere. I don’t let people go anywhere because I have the best people. Unless they aren’t loyal. If they’re not loyal they have to go because they’re only contributing to the fake news and the Democrat conspiracy against me because they can’t face the fact that more people voted for me than Hillary or any other presidential candidate ever. That’s right, I got more votes than any president ever. .. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/19 "2017-12-21T22:35:30Z")
Note: I’m forwarding some of his responses to your guys PM accounts so you can post some of them yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2017, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012/20 "2017-12-21T22:47:37Z")
Not really a question, just wanted to chime in to say what I the best message board poster [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-donald-trump/805012.md?page=2)