# Ask Dr. aha, sex therapist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461 "2000-12-14T02:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/1 "2000-12-14T02:36:00Z")
Got a sexual problem? Is that huge red thing on your SO’s privates creeping you out? Feel the need to get some answers? Then you’ve stopped at the right place. When not working at my job I am somewhat of a sex therapist. Yep that’s right. I was a 5th year senior at the School of Amateur Sexology located right next to the Barbizon School of Hair Modeling and just across from the Devry institute. I didn’t get around to acutally graduating but who needs a fucking diploma anyway! (Heh heh the doctor made a small pun there). I will also be the first to admit that I have much life experience and have done…errr fantasized some bizarre stuff in my lifetime. So if your roommate is humping your barbie or if your pet is humping your barbie or even if your roommate is humping your pet while… oh well you get my point. If you just don’t get it, then let me know and I will try and explain it. Naturally comments only are welcome but if you have a sexual question or problem let me know. Please keep in mind however that people are sensitive about sex… so don’t just come in here and stare ok? The doctor is now in. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/2 "2000-12-14T02:47:11Z")
aha, you freak. You just _knew_ I’d open this, didn’t you? I’ll spend the rest of the evening thinking of the most bizarre sexual problems you’ve ever heard, just to see what you’ll say. You know that, don’t you? 😃 Heh. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/3 "2000-12-14T02:49:59Z")
Physician, heal thyself. The Barbie is chasing the cat around the room. What should I do? Kitty is hiding behind the garbage disposal, and he won’t come out. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/4 "2000-12-14T02:50:48Z")
If I stop, will the hair go away? ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/5 "2000-12-14T02:55:03Z")
Uhm, I kind of grew something overnight, and it came in my face when I was in the shower this morning. ::snicker snicker:: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/6 "2000-12-14T02:55:05Z")
Dr. aha, this is Jean-Luc Picard. I have combed the galaxy to seek your advice. A young man of my acquaintence, whose name I must not mention is having a…diffucult time. It seems that not only is young Wesley…deflowering the other children’s Barbies, but he is…gnawing off the arms and legs of the Barbie’s first. We believe that he is swallowing. Help us, aha, you’re my only hope! Sorry, wrong movie. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/7 "2000-12-14T02:55:37Z")
Dr. aha, I’ve got this not-so-fresh feeling… ---
**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/8 "2000-12-14T03:06:59Z")
dear Dr. Aha, Recently a very strange thing has happened to me. Somthing that I’ve never heard of happening. My husband is beside himself. I’ve grown a _penis_. All I want to do is stick in his bum. Now he says he really loves me and will do anything for me, but he wont do **that**. What should I do? I let him stick his penis in me!!! I think it is just fair that I stick mine in him. What should I do Sincerely, tubagirl ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/9 "2000-12-14T03:26:44Z")
Dear Dr. aha, I just don’t get it, get it? It’s becoming a problem. A very serious problem… Thank you in advance, dragonlady ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/10 "2000-12-14T03:41:40Z")
Welfy > [@](#): > > Dr. aha, I’ve got this not-so-fresh feeling… Welfy, one word: Talc Tubagirl: > [@](#): > > he will do anything for me, but he wont do that. Tubagirl you’re not married to Meatloaf are you? Seriously though just sit him down and explain the “third imput” to him. Sooner or later he will…dare I say it? Cum around! Cristi: I am waiting. CP your a sick fuck. Maybe that’s why I like you so much. Rysdad: two words: Hot wax. ssskuggiii: Try setting your face on fire and putting it out with a ballpean hammer. Failing that, call me, we’ll do lunch. dragonlady: > [@](#): > > I just don’t get it, get it? Ahhh DL there was a time that I didn’t get it either. But then I held out by using porno mags and a vibrator until I _could_ get it. I suggest you do the same. Got it? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/11 "2000-12-14T03:49:00Z")
Ok, dammit, I will be the first to ask a serious question: What causes differences in amount of semen produced? uh…no reason, just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/12 "2000-12-14T04:11:37Z")
Dr. **aha** , I had sex with these three girls last night until they passed out. I still did not get to cum. What should I do? Get more girls? I suppose I could masterbate, but I hate to let a good erection go to waste. Is there anyway I can keep these girls going? They seem to just loose energy after about the third hour or so. Then they start complaining about how sore they are. “My vagina aches”, “my jaw hurts”, “I can’t walk”… Wah, freaking wah! What about me!!? Please help me Dr. **aha**! ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/13 "2000-12-14T05:01:30Z")
Dr. Aha, My girlfriend lives 5000 miles away, but I want to have sex tonight. What should I do? Yr. biggest fan, Montfort ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/14 "2000-12-14T05:55:56Z")
Dear Docter Aha, I have a problem; which I cant get any help with. On account of this, that all the woman at my job keep wanting to have sex with me and Im getting tired. Only if I dont Ill get fired because they dont really need me except for sex. What shold I do? Also I tried to tell someone this on another boerd and they called me a troll and banned me. Just because they were jelous. I called the moderateer and said why do you think I am a troll, and he said that trolls always take a bullshit story and pretend it is a “problem” and also usually cant spell or have grammer corectly. I said ok so maybe Im not a human dictonary but that is no reason to call names or ban me, but I cant get on there again so I hope you can help me. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/15 "2000-12-14T08:41:54Z")
Dear Dr. aha, Last night I dreamed I was being chased by a giant vibrator with a light it the top of it. What does this mean ? Sincerly, Sally Wantsitallnight ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/16 "2000-12-14T08:48:54Z")
_steps in for aha_ The giant mobile phallic vibrator is a common occurence so don’t be alarmed. It means one of a few things. Perhaps you feel you’ve lost your way recently. Perhaps your libido is not satisfied at the moment but you’re unsure of how to express your desires. Or perhaps your sexual satisfaction is too high hence your running FROM the image in question. I want you to picture the giant vibrator. Now how does that make you feel? ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/17 "2000-12-14T08:56:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dpr \* > \*\* I want you to picture the giant vibrator. Now how does that make you feel? \*\* Like I need to find some giant batteries. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/18 "2000-12-14T08:59:16Z")
_hides a smirk_ But why then are you running away? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/19 "2000-12-14T09:00:57Z")
Perhaps you should embra… er… **confront** your fear? ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/20 "2000-12-14T10:43:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dpr \* > \*\*I want you to picture the giant vibrator. Now how does that make you feel? \*\* Damn frustrated thats what!!! Thanks heaps DPR!!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461.md?page=2)