# Ask Dr. aha, sex therapist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461 "2000-12-14T02:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cyndar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/21 "2000-12-14T12:22:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bear\_Nenno \* > \*\*Dr. **aha** , > I had sex with these three girls last night until they passed out. I still did not get to cum. What should I do? Get more girls? I suppose I could masterbate, but I hate to let a good erection go to waste. Is there anyway I can keep these girls going? They seem to just loose energy after about the third hour or so. Then they start complaining about how sore they are. “My vagina aches”, “my jaw hurts”, “I can’t walk”… Wah, freaking wah! What about me!!? > > Please help me Dr. **aha**! > > \*\* Oh my. ---
**Author:** ![Cyndar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/22 "2000-12-14T12:23:43Z")
I’ve met Bear. His comment, I must say, could possibly be true. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/23 "2000-12-14T13:40:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > \*\*Dear Dr. aha, > Last night I dreamed I was being chased by a giant vibrator with a light it the top of it. What does this mean ? > \*\* I have had a similar dream, only it’s hot dogs chasing donuts through the Holland Tunnel. What in the world could it possibly mean??? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/24 "2000-12-14T13:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brynda \* > \*\*Ok, dammit, I will be the first to ask a serious question: > > What causes differences in amount of semen produced? > > uh…no reason, just curious. > > \*\* Finally a breath of fresh air. Frequency my dear. The frequenter the ejaculation the less ejaculate is left to disperse. That is of course until the body is given a break so that it can manufactor more of the stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/25 "2000-12-14T13:49:10Z")
I’m still working on it, aha. Hey, do you have a break for the holidays? Wanna come to Michigan & enlighten all of us? We’re planning a fest…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/26 "2000-12-14T13:51:54Z")
Dr. aha: There’s this dork on the board who says circumcision is evil and that circumcised men are going to destroy the planet out of sexual frustration. How can I prevent myself from causing nuclear catastrophe? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/27 "2000-12-14T14:09:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Brynda \* > > \*\*Ok, dammit, I will be the first to ask a serious question: > > > > What causes differences in amount of semen produced? > > > > uh…no reason, just curious. > > > > \*\* > > Finally a breath of fresh air. > > Frequency my dear. The frequenter the ejaculation the less ejaculate is left to disperse. That is of course until the body is given a break so that it can manufactor more of the stuff. \*\* Thank you, Dr. Aha. That would _ahem_ make sense. ::blushes:: ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/28 "2000-12-14T14:19:47Z")
The mermaid: > [@](#): > > I have had a similar dream, only it’s hot dogs chasing donuts through the Holland Tunnel. > > What in the world could it possibly mean??? Means you need to have a snack before bedtime. I mean what else could it mean? 😃 There’s this dork on the board who says circumcision is evil and that circumcised men are going to destroy the planet out of sexual frustration. How can I prevent myself from causing nuclear catastrophe? Just put on a turtle neck sweater and hide below ground until this all blows over. In the meant time call me, we’ll do lunch. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/29 "2000-12-14T14:21:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*I’m still working on it, aha. > > Hey, do you have a break for the holidays? Wanna come to Michigan & enlighten all of us? We’re planning a fest…😃 \*\* You bet! Can I bring my “little friend”? heh heh you know the one. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/30 "2000-12-14T14:28:09Z")
As Dr. Aha is in the middle of a counseling session, I’ll be filling in for him: > [@](#): > > My girlfriend lives 5000 miles away, but I want to have sex tonight. What should I do? Mr. Montfort, meet Mr. Hand. Mr. Hand, meet Mr. Montfort. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/31 "2000-12-14T14:34:35Z")
Dr. Aha: I’m not able to “finish” my sexual coupling unless Western Union is blaring out of my 8-track Hi-Fi. I don’t think anything is wrong, but Mrs. Nipples is somewhat bothered by it. Also, I think I’m growing a vagina. This, by no means is a problem. I just thought I’d tell as many people as possible. Now, I will go and fuck myself. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrho12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@Pyrrho12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrho12)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/32 "2000-12-14T14:43:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*Dr. aha: > > There’s this dork on the board who says circumcision is evil and that circumcised men are going to destroy the planet out of sexual frustration. How can I prevent myself from causing nuclear catastrophe? \*\* Believe it or not, this is not just a problem that circumcised men have. I know because… well, without talking about the status of my own penis, just get a close friend or pet to check your apartment every once in a while to make sure that you aren’t secretly hiding away huge stockpiles of uranium. Most major cities have a mad scientist support group. Telephone them immediately if you feel the urge to vaporize any large chunks of real estate. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/33 "2000-12-14T14:56:26Z")
Dear Dr. **aha** , I have a 3rd nipple. Most men have found this to be rather sexy and have gotten immense pleasure from suckling and fondling it. My current SO is turned off by it. He makes me wear a shirt to bed so he doesn’t have to look at it and won’t even come close to touching it. Sould I have it removed or should I find a new SO? ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/34 "2000-12-14T15:49:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > My girlfriend lives 5000 miles away, but I want to have sex tonight. What should I do? > > Mr. Montfort, meet Mr. Hand. Mr. Hand, meet Mr. Montfort. \*\* [Spicoli]Aloha, Mr. Hand![/Spicoli] ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/35 "2000-12-14T15:57:18Z")
Dear Dr. aha Now my keyboard is all sticky. What should I do? Signed, Worried at Work Kalamazoo, MI ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/36 "2000-12-14T16:20:27Z")
Dear Dr. Aha, First, some background: I come from a large family with a checkered background. One of my brothers is currently serving time in the state prison because he is an ax murderer. Another is on the run because he was accused of fondling a nun. My father was involved in smuggling incriminating chads out of Florida recently. Mom is on a first name basis with the sailors of three different warships, from the US, Canadian, and British navies. One sister has an unhealthy attraction for large barnyard animals, and the other one is a frequent contributor to the SDMB. Recently I met a lovely young girl, and my heart is all aflutter. She is kind, sensitive, and she seems to think the world of me. I feel I don’t deserve to be with her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m afraid that she’ll reject me if she finds out about my sordid family. My question is, should I tell her about my sister the Doper? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/37 "2000-12-14T17:15:14Z")
Dear Dr. Aha, What happened to my eyesight? Signed, Secret smile but squinting ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/38 "2000-12-14T17:23:11Z")
Dear Dr. Aha, Why are porno movies more than two minutes long? Why aren’t they called porno _shorts_? Also,can you recommend a title to a porno soundtrack on cd, so I could \*set the mood \*? Signed, Movie _buff_ ---
**Author:** ![jovius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@jovius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovius)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/39 "2000-12-14T17:39:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bear\_Nenno \* > \*\*Dr. **aha** , > I had sex with these three girls last night until they passed out. I still did not get to cum. What should I do? Get more girls? > \*\* Get more girls who are over 18 next time… Better stamina. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461/40 "2000-12-14T17:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bear\_Nenno \* > \*\*Dr. **aha** , > I had sex with these three girls last night until they passed out. Binaca, anyone? > [@](#): > > What should I do? Why not try the \*JimmyNipples Getting more Ooopmh \*Sexual Aid: \*I’m not able to “finish” my sexual coupling unless Western Union is blaring out of my 8-track Hi-Fi. \* Perhaps listening to the Five Americans on your headphones will increase your listening pleasure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-dr-aha-sex-therapist/45461.md?page=3)