# Ask Hitler a question or punch him in the mouth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303 "2014-09-12T16:29:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/1 "2014-09-12T16:29:27Z")
Inspired by the [other thread on Hitler](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733850) and the question on time-travel virus saving. So I’ve got a faulty time travel device that can send one of two things back to Hitler’s office any time after January, 1933. Either a letter containing a question the Fuhrer will answer truthfully - OR one of those [boxing gloves on a spring](http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/19726140/2/stock-illustration-19726140-boxing-glove-springing-out-of-a-box.jpg) that will smack him in the face. It won’t kill him, though. What do you want to send back? I’ll give you Hitler’s translated reply to your question OR the video of him taking a glove to the chops. You’ll make no profit from either though, I’ll need them back once you’ve watched or read them to prevent time paradoxes. Reason I ask is to find if most people prefer to punish evil from the past if they could, or understand it better if they could. I’m 99% sure I’m the only one on the poll who would want an answer to a question, my question would be sent to 1944; I’d ask him exactly how much he knew about what went on in his concentration and extermination camps. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/2 "2014-09-12T16:37:09Z")
Oh, and should have said it’s a parallel universe where Andy Warhol wore red underpants instead of green ones, so don’t be concerned about your choice altering history and the butterfly effect destroying our galaxy. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/3 "2014-09-12T16:40:20Z")
My question would be, “How vould you like a punch in der mouth, Hitler? !” ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/4 "2014-09-12T16:45:07Z")
My question “Do you realize that the course or action you have embarked on will end with a pistol in your hand, cyanide capsule in your mouth and the Russians nipping at your heels?” Not that it would change anything but… **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/5 "2014-09-12T16:50:39Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Oh, and should have said it’s a parallel universe \*\*where Andy Warhol wore red underpants instead of green ones, \*\*so don’t be concerned about your choice altering history and the butterfly effect destroying our galaxy. You make it sound like that would \*\*\*not \*\*\*destroy the galaxy… ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/6 "2014-09-12T16:52:21Z")
Along the lines of Capt Kirk’s question. “All of this is going to end in failure. Still planning on war anyway?” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/7 "2014-09-12T16:56:15Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > You make it sound like that would \*\*\*not \*\*\*destroy the galaxy… Maybe it does! Though otherwise in the timeframe we’re talking about everything else is as it is in our universe. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/8 "2014-09-12T17:30:32Z")
I’d ask him why he was such a dick. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/9 "2014-09-12T17:43:03Z")
instead of the boxing glove, could it be a boot to kick him in the nut(s)? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/10 "2014-09-12T18:05:42Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > instead of the boxing glove, could it be a boot to kick him in the nut(s)? I thought Himmler wore those boots. Hitler hairdos…Himmler boots…Goering bellies. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/11 "2014-09-12T18:17:38Z")
“What’s with the Michael Jordan mustache?” ---
**Author:** ![blue\_infinity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_infinity/32/2817_2.png) [@blue\_infinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_infinity)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/12 "2014-09-12T18:28:31Z")
“Dear Mr Hitler, did you know the entire leadership of the Wehrmacht are plotting against you?” ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/13 "2014-09-12T18:37:32Z")
Since my choice can have no effect on history, the best I can hope for is to gain new information that will be useful for the future. I’d be interested to know his true religious beliefs, if any. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/14 "2014-09-12T18:42:42Z")
“Yo, Adolph. Tell me a joke.” (It’s a riff on something my brother does. Anytime he meets someone he asks them to tell him a joke. Over the years he has asked hundreds of people; from vagrant panhandlers to CEOs to sports stars and common people. People tend to play along. He jots them down and keeps track.) ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/15 "2014-09-12T18:56:39Z")
Asking a question, without a doubt. Punching him in the face may server some with a sense of gratification for the horrible evils that he committed, but particularly considering we can’t affect history, all we can do is learn from it. We’re now faced with a potentially invaluable glance into the mind of one of the most pivotal people of modern times. He’s universally seen as one of the most evil people in history. So, if we have an opportunity to really understand his motivations, his though processes, or find a way in which we may have stopped in sooner, maybe that will give us some insight to prevent a similar events in the future. This is even more valuable because the OP posits that we will receive an honest answer, not just whatever he feels like saying, which may or may not have any real value beyond the resources we already have. That said, I’m not really sure exactly what the most valuable question might be. Ultimately, I’m interested in knowing what he realistically thought he’d accomplish. Sure, we know what he publically said, but I think there’s a lot more there. I’m interested in knowing exactly how much knowledge of the holocaust and other war crimes he really had and seeing how he felt about the parts he didn’t know about. Really, I think if I were presented with the opportunity, it would be worth consulting with historians to see what gaps of knowledge they’d want filled. Either way, even a largely wasted question, I think, would ultimately be far more valuable than even a solid and satisfying sock to the face. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/16 "2014-09-12T19:00:02Z")
“Hitler: Using only pencil and paper, what is the trillionth digit of Pi?” He has to answer, right? That should keep him busy. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/17 "2014-09-12T19:01:18Z")
How about “Where will you hide the gold?” It’s like the opposite of the Mastercard commercial questions: Understanding Hitler? Priceless. Punching him in the face? Priceless. Finding stashed Nazi loot? A billion dollars! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/18 "2014-09-12T22:26:35Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > instead of the boxing glove, could it be a boot to kick him in the nut(s)? Ha, that was actually my original thought. I changed it to a punch as I thought it would be even more one sided otherwise (although poll results are proving me wrong, quite surprising). ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/19 "2014-09-13T00:32:37Z")
1933 is probably a bit late, but it is worth a try. _Have you ever considered Architecture school?_ ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303/20 "2014-09-13T00:35:53Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > 1933 is probably a bit late, but it is worth a try. > > _Have you ever considered Architecture school?_ Lol yes! A full scholarship could save 20 million lives. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hitler-a-question-or-punch-him-in-the-mouth/698303.md?page=2)