# Ask Hulk. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422 "2003-02-03T02:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/81 "2003-02-06T19:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cliffy \* > \*\*PUNY HUMANS ASK IF HULK HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE! HULK LOVE BETTY! WHY CAN’T PUNY HUMANS LEAVE HULK ALONE! HULK SMASH! \*\* That would be because the National Enquirer says: HULK EASY! HULK HAVE SEX WITH ANYTHING THAT MOVES! ---
**Author:** ![MachineHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@MachineHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachineHead)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/82 "2003-02-06T23:46:29Z")
Hey. I have not had any acess to the internet the last few days. That is why I have not been able to answer. Thanks **Cliffy** ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/83 "2003-02-07T00:25:37Z")
Given Hulk recent triumph at Carnegie Hall, would like Hulk opinion about conducting matter: In Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony, final movement Presto (bar 433 to the end), would Hulk conduct this section in 4, given a tempo marking of eighth note = 116, or would Hulk choose the more conventional tempo of approximately quarter note = 90 and therefore conduct in 2? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/84 "2003-02-07T01:08:49Z")
HULK’S HAND TOO BIG TO HOLD PUNY CONDUCTING BATON! BESIDES, HULK HATE OBOE! OBOE SOUND LIKE PUNY WHINY PRINCESS! HULK SMASH!! ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/85 "2003-02-07T04:38:49Z")
So, Hulk, where can I get a pair of pink bunny slippers like the ones Betty gave you? ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/86 "2003-02-07T05:06:41Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Jeff Lodoen_ > **The hulk gains 900 pounds of “extra-dimensional” mass. He must have a denser hide than Asgardians and they do OK. Beyond that the hulk has a healing ability. Wolverine sliced him open in his grey days, no biggie. On a green day I don’t think he can be cut.** Actually I think these days the healing factor is given greater emphasis these days. Specifically, I recall a scene from _Incredible Hulk_ #397 when Vector of the U-foes used his gravity control powers to literally tear the flesh from the Hulk’s bones, leaving him little more than a skeleton. He regenerated the missing mass in seconds. Granted, this was the high-browed Hulk/Banner amalgam, but I got the impression he was just as strong as the original Hulk. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/87 "2003-02-07T05:08:23Z")
Hmm… Seems like these days I’m repeating things these days. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/88 "2003-02-07T06:35:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*HULK’S HAND TOO BIG TO HOLD PUNY CONDUCTING BATON! BESIDES, HULK HATE OBOE! OBOE SOUND LIKE PUNY WHINY PRINCESS! HULK SMASH!! \*\* It’s okay, Hulk. Please calm down. We really like you. You’ve always been one of my favorites. Every time you holler “It’s clobberin’ time,” it cracks me up. How did you come up with that line, anyways? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/89 "2003-02-08T00:09:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*\*It’s okay, Hulk. Please calm down. We really like you. > You’ve always been one of my favorites. Every time you holler “It’s clobberin’ time,” it cracks me up. How did you come up with that line, anyways? \*\* RAAAAAAAAAAGH! HULK HATE THING!! PUNKY PUCKY DO THAT ON PURPOSE! HULK SMASH!! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/90 "2003-02-08T00:11:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Terrifel \* > \*\*Granted, this was the high-browed Hulk/Banner amalgam, but I got the impression he was just as strong as the original Hulk. \*\* HULK WITH BANNER’S BRAIN, JUST AS STRONG? GRRRR! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS! PUNY BANNER-BRAINED HULK NEVER GET MAD – HULK GETS STRONGER WHEN HE GETS MADDER!! HULK SMASH PUNY BANNER-BRAINED HULK! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/91 "2003-02-08T00:39:42Z")
Hmm, a cogent and peruasive argument. I concede the point, Hulk. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/92 "2003-02-08T00:41:51Z")
Don’t listen to Pucky, Hulk, ol’ boy. Some of us can’t stand you. I, for one, think you are one of the lousiest characters Marvel ever created and that’s saying something when you consider characters like Razorback and Sabretooth. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/93 "2003-02-08T01:36:46Z")
HULK SMASH RAZORBACK AND SABRETOOTH! ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Dave\_Stewarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Dave\_Stewarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Dave_Stewarts)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/94 "2003-02-08T04:52:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*The green Hulk was deaf bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno, Standing 6’5" tall and weighing almost 300 lbs…I see his auntie alot as she comes into the shop I work. Ill be sure to tell her you say Hi, Hulk. > > So Hulk, why was Bruce Banner’s name was changed to David Banner? \*\* Apparently because “Bruce” was considered too gay, back in the 80s, so they changed it to the incredibly manly, sexually charged and devastatingly charming name “David”. I have two questions for the Hulk: 1. are you still mad at Freddie Prinze Jr? 2. if Bruce Banner was so smart, what was he doing at a nuclear test site when the Bomb was about to go off? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/95 "2003-02-08T06:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cliffy \* > \*\*HULK NOT THOUGHT ABOUT IT VERY SERIOUSLY BUT HULK THINK HULK WOULD ARGUE ELECTOR IS OFFICER OF STATE, NOT FEDERAL SOVEREIGN AND THAT WITHIN BROAD LIMITS IT IS RESPONSIBILITY OF STATE TO CHOOSE ELECTOR UNDER APPLICABLE STATE LAW AS ILLUMINATED BY STATE LEGISLATURE AND SUPREME COURT! EITHER THATM OR HULK SMASH! \*\* Another wonderful opportunity for Hulk to mention that he voted for Nader ruined. ---
**Author:** ![MachineHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@MachineHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachineHead)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/96 "2003-02-08T07:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by First Amongst Dave Stewarts \* > \*\*Apparently because “Bruce” was considered too gay, back in the 80s, so they changed it to the incredibly manly, sexually charged and devastatingly charming name “David”. > > I have two questions for the Hulk: > > 1. are you still mad at Freddie Prinze Jr? > > 2. if Bruce Banner was so smart, what was he doing at a nuclear test site when the Bomb was about to go off? \*\* 1)Why would hulk be mad? 2) Puny banner was in a buliding several miles away. He only went they’re when rick jones was seen near it. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/97 "2003-02-08T07:47:25Z")
C’mon, wouldn’t **you** be mad at Freddie Prinze Jr.? ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Dave\_Stewarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Dave\_Stewarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Dave_Stewarts)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/98 "2003-02-08T11:20:25Z")
Hulk _is_ mad at Freddie Prinze Jr, according to a recent issue of Ultimate Avengers. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/99 "2003-02-09T07:10:08Z")
Hulk: You haven’t answered my previous question so let me restate it: 1. If you had something valuable that you wanted to keep secret, what would you do with it? 2. Also, if you collected classic cars from defunct auto companies and you had a 1954 Rambler [like the one pictured in this web article,](http://uwadmnweb.uwyo.edu/AMS/webct_mall/submitted%20papers/Michelle%20M%20Lockwood.htm) what would you call it? ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422/100 "2003-02-09T07:30:32Z")
Hi, Hulk, long time reader, first time poster. I’d just like to say that your cousin’s a total hottie, but I’ve always wondered about the whole “super strength” thing, expecially in light of the (cross universe but still relevant) essay “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex”. It’s not like I wouldn’t be willing to risk a shattered pelvis for a night with Jennifer, but I’m wondering if the problem’s ever come up in the past and the guys at Marvel just kind of swept it aside. Also, I’ve invented a recipe for a drink called a “Jennifer Walters”: 2 oz. 100 proof vodka 1 oz. Blue Curacao Pour over ice into a Pilsener glass, top with lemonade. It’s tall, pretty, green, and extremely powerful. Do you think she’d appreciate the gesture? Hmm, I should probably ask something about you, too… nah, I got nothin’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-hulk/152422.md?page=6)