# Ask me anything.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 30, 2005, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175 "2005-09-30T09:29:41Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/1 "2005-09-30T09:29:41Z")
Ask me any question at all, and I will answer you.
However, if it’s a question with a factual answer, I can’t promise you I’ll be right. In fact, I probably won’t be. So that’s the disclaimer right there. I’m not going to look up any answers so your best bet is to probably just keep the questions light hearted. 😛
Consequently, if it’s a question that is: Illegal or immoral or too personal or any other kind of question that I can’t answer…I still will, but don’t expect a serious answer. 😉
Last thing. I’m not a doctor, or lawyer, or anything really. Telling you out front I’m not, so if your question is along those terms, again, I’ll answer, but only with what I think/my opinion is.
What I AM is just bored and wondering what kinds of questions I’ll get. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckler_of_Swashing)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/2 "2005-09-30T09:37:53Z")
Where do all my socks go?
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/3 "2005-09-30T09:41:49Z")
> [@Buckler of Swashing](#):
>
> Where do all my socks go?
To that great Sock Heaven in the sky. But only the left ones. The right ones all hide in various parts of your home. You’ll find a couple: One under the box under your bed, one in the confines of that couch with the pillows on it, one behind the toliet, and one, of all places, under your car seat.
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### Author:  [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/4 "2005-09-30T09:44:59Z")
Who shot first?
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/5 "2005-09-30T09:54:58Z")
> [@Small Clanger](#):
>
> Who shot first?
What shot second?
Oh man, I just kill myself…
But seriously, you’ll find that Bob shot first. How could you not have known this?
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### Author:  [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/6 "2005-09-30T10:03:15Z")
Who is Bob, and why is he shooting at people?
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/7 "2005-09-30T10:15:47Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#):
>
> Who is Bob, and why is he shooting at people?
Bob is who shot first, and he’s shooting because he’s a professional photographer.
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### Author:  [@qubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qubed)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/8 "2005-09-30T11:25:20Z")
> [@Idle Thoughts](#):
>
> To that great Sock Heaven in the sky. But only the left ones. The right ones all hide in various parts of your home. You’ll find a couple: One under the box under your bed, one in the confines of that couch with the pillows on it, one behind the toliet, and one, of all places, under your car seat.
Wait? There are left socks and right socks?
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### Author:  [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/9 "2005-09-30T12:17:20Z")
> [@Idle Thoughts](#):
>
> But seriously, you’ll find that Bob shot first. How could you not have known this?
Thank you for fighting my ignorance today. I had no idea it was Bob. Cripes, I thought it was the chicken, and not the egg.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/10 "2005-09-30T12:20:11Z")
I’m Bob, but I’m not shooting at anyone.
Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop? When you’ve answered that, who put the ram in the ram-alama-dingdong?
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### Author:  [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/11 "2005-09-30T12:24:16Z")
"Socks"was one of Bob’s dogs. It was pecked to death in a fight with a chicken. Having lost Socks, Bob shot the chicken.
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### Author:  [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/12 "2005-09-30T12:24:28Z")
Yeah, **Bob**.
Who was that man? I like to shake his hand…
**Idle Thoughts** Where do my idle thoughts wander to, just before sleeping?
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/13 "2005-09-30T12:28:33Z")
Who’s on first?
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### Author:  [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/14 "2005-09-30T12:48:31Z")
This one’s been bugging me for ages…
Why is a cook’s bedpan like an overwound clock?
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/15 "2005-09-30T12:56:52Z")
> [@alanak](#):
>
> Wait? There are left socks and right socks?
But of course.
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop? When you’ve answered that, who put the ram in the ram-alama-dingdong?
The same man who made my baby fall in love with me.
> [@gum](#):
>
> Idle Thoughts Where do my idle thoughts wander to, just before sleeping?
In a special collection box that I have where I can easily access them. So think more about what you were thinking about on the night of August 25th.
> [@Malacandra](#):
>
> Who’s on first?
Exactly.
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#):
>
> Why is a cook’s bedpan like an overwound clock?
Well, they both have c’s, o’s, n’s, d’s, k’s and e’s…
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/16 "2005-09-30T13:01:33Z")
If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long will it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
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### Author:  [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/17 "2005-09-30T13:02:02Z")
Are scalar weapons for real?
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/18 "2005-09-30T13:16:15Z")
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long will it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
1.5 seconds. But only if the pickle had one seed in it. (which, after I was done with it, it would)
> [@Small Clanger](#):
>
> Are scalar weapons for real?
Yes, but it only works on dogs.
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### Author:  [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/19 "2005-09-30T17:05:40Z")
Why is Six afraid of Seven?
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-me-anything/324175/20 "2005-09-30T17:10:04Z")
Where is **[CynicalGabe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6638739#post6638739)**’s checkbook? If you’re right, I’ll split the reward with you.
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