# Ask Michael Ellis³ **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010 "2003-08-09T11:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/41 "2003-08-11T05:29:32Z")
Here’s a question… **Czarcasm** did a fun little thing with the m’s up there (alliteration or something), but how could we respond in kind? **Czarcasm** ’s zany zebra? Silly **Czarcasm** sliding stuff? _and for the phonetically challenged,_ Can **Czarcasm** cut coupons? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/42 "2003-08-11T05:36:41Z")
Will anyone ever get **lightingtool’s** name right? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/43 "2003-08-11T12:40:44Z")
What happened to Michael Ellis? ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/44 "2003-08-11T15:06:52Z")
Who turned freddy krueger into an iceman that was killing people in Crystal lake? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/45 "2003-08-11T16:36:08Z")
Dude, where’s my car? ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/46 "2003-08-12T15:18:19Z")
In which state of matter does Michael Ellis prefer to exist? ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/47 "2003-08-12T17:31:45Z")
My co-worker chews with his mouth opened. He eats the same lunch everyday. Peanut Butter sandwhich and sliced apple. I hate hearing the sucking noises and the crunching 5ft away. What evil things can I do to him? ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/48 "2003-08-12T18:59:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*In which state of matter does Michael Ellis prefer to exist? \*\* Apparently not in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/49 "2003-08-12T20:27:45Z")
Paging Michael Ellis! Paging Michael Ellis! Please Pick up the White Courtesy Phone located by the Hertz Rental Counter. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/50 "2003-08-15T00:57:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Paging Michael Ellis! > > Paging Michael Ellis! > > Please Pick up the White Courtesy Phone located by the Hertz Rental Counter. \*\* Sorry to keep you waiting, but I’ve been on vacation for the past few days and only set up my dial up connection for my laptop this morning. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > **How did you get the 3 to do that in your thread title?** I used the Windows Character Map and picked out the superscript three. > [@](#): > > \*\* Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong? \*\* The same man who but the sham in the shamalamadingdong. Unfortunately, history has forgotten his name. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Are you really Michael Ellis, or are you just Michael Ellis in disguise? \*\* I am really Michael Ellis. Really. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*Are you some kind of attention-seeking whore? If so, what kind of whore are you? Are you a cheap whore? Would you provide some sort of wide variety of whoreish goods/services in exchange for what ever it is you seek? \*\* I am no kind of whore, sir or ma’am. \*\* > [@](#): > > Do you have have laserbeams that shoot out of your eyes like turquoise beams of sexually transmitted death? \*\* No. However, “Sexually Transmitted Death” would be an excellent name for a band. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dutchboy208 \* > \*\*Do you use your powers for good, or for awesome? \*\* For average. I think it makes a nice change from Good and Evil. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flood \* > \*\*When was the last time you saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show? \*\* Several years ago. It’s really overrated IMO. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lobsang \* > \*\*must there be an and? \*\* Probably. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lightingtool \* > \*\*Here’s a question… > **Czarcasm** did a fun little thing with the m’s up there (alliteration or something), but how could we respond in kind? > > **Czarcasm** ’s zany zebra? > Silly **Czarcasm** sliding stuff? > _and for the phonetically challenged,_ > Can **Czarcasm** cut coupons? \*\* Those are good enough, I think. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Will anyone ever get **lightingtool’s** name right? \*\* Dunno. Probably. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hebesphenomegacorona \* > \*\*Who turned freddy krueger into an iceman that was killing people in Crystal lake? \*\* Ross Perot. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Dude, where’s my car? \*\* Dublin, probably. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*In which state of matter does Michael Ellis prefer to exist? \*\* Negatively charged plasma. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Isabelle \* > \*\*My co-worker chews with his mouth opened. He eats the same lunch everyday. Peanut Butter sandwhich and sliced apple. I hate hearing the sucking noises and the crunching 5ft away. What evil things can I do to him? \*\* You could buy a squirt gun and fire it at his mouth while he chews, or maybe film him secretly and distribute the video on the internet under the title of ‘disgusting manners’. Apart from that, I can’t think of anything else right now. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/51 "2003-08-15T01:41:01Z")
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/52 "2003-08-15T01:41:52Z")
Did you get a feeling of deja vous? where is the with how? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/53 "2003-08-15T04:56:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hopefool \* > \*\*What would you do for a Klondike Bar? \*\* Many things. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lobsang \* > **Did you get a feeling of deja vous?** Tonight on _It’s the Mind_ we examine the phenomenon of deja vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we’ve lived through something tonight on _It’s the Mind_ we examine the phenomenon of deja vu on _It’s the Mind_ tonight on _It’s the Mind_ we examine the phenomenon of deja vu… > [@](#): > > \*\* where is the with how? \*\* Who did the what in the huh? ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/54 "2003-08-15T07:22:21Z")
In a world populated solely by Michael Ellises, who would be your Michael Ellis? Pre crisis, what were Superman’s animal sidekicks? Why do my monocles keep flinging themselves from my face in fits of rage? What is your age in dog years? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/55 "2003-08-15T09:54:25Z")
So, when given a table, what kind of hello can jack palance wibble? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/56 "2003-08-15T11:25:29Z")
Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/57 "2003-08-16T01:51:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan of Narnia \* > **In a world populated solely by Michael Ellises, who would be your Michael Ellis?** Kirsten Dunst. > [@](#): > > **Pre crisis, what were Superman’s animal sidekicks?** Don’t know, don’t really care. > [@](#): > > **Why do my monocles keep flinging themselves from my face in fits of rage?** Because you’re an evil supervillain/Nazi that’s about to be defeated. > [@](#): > > \*\*What is your age in dog years? \*\* 2.8 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lobsang \* > \*\*So, when given a table, what kind of hello can jack palance wibble? \*\* Bing tiddle tiddle bang. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison? \*\* Not yet, no. Have you ever seen a grown man naked? ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/58 "2003-08-16T02:22:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst is really a Michael Ellis? > [@](#): > > Don’t know, don’t really care. Why don’t you care? Don’t you enjoy and appreciate our questions, ready to answer things to the fullest with bibliographic footnotes and denotations? > [@](#): > > Because you’re an evil supervillain/Nazi that’s about to be defeated. No, I am simply a millionaire playboy spending my nights on the town, putting on the ritz. When I get into my limo, they start screaming epithets and quickly scramble themselves off my face. Perhaps I should redecorate my limo? > [@](#): > > 2.8 No arguing with that one! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/59 "2003-08-16T02:46:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan of Narnia \* > **Kirsten Dunst is really a Michael Ellis?** > [@](#): > > \*\*Why don’t you care? Don’t you enjoy and appreciate our questions, ready to answer things to the fullest with bibliographic footnotes and denotations? \*\* I just don’t really care about comic books or superheroes. I never have. That’s not to say I don’t like answering these questions. > [@](#): > > \*\*No, I am simply a millionaire playboy spending my nights on the town, putting on the ritz. When I get into my limo, they start screaming epithets and quickly scramble themselves off my face. Perhaps I should redecorate my limo? \*\* I’d suggest putting slices of smoked imported gouda cheese on the ritz, myself. Other than that, what is the interior of the limo like? > [@](#): > > \*\*No arguing with that one! \*\* [Monty Burns] \*Ex-\*cellent. [/Monty Burns] ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010/60 "2003-08-16T02:47:29Z")
Zounds! Damnation! Kirsten Dunst is _not_ a Michael Ellis as far as I know, I just really like her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-michael-ellis/194010.md?page=4)