# Ask SPOOFE! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861 "2001-10-17T00:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/1 "2001-10-17T00:27:58Z")
I was looking back over some old threads, mostly mine but a few other posters’ as well. SPOOFE used to be a big contributor to “G. Nome you are a fucking idiot”-type threads but that’s all in the past (or so he says). I noticed that Spoofe seems to have a little habit of discussing himself in cryptic terms sometimes. It’s as though he wants to reveal more if only someone would ask. So I thought I would. He may answer, he may not. 1. You seem to play “what lies beneath?” a lot Spoofe. There is a suggestion that “down there” in Spoofeworld may not be…up to scratch. Do you do this A) to attract “shy” women B) because you send photos on request? 2. Do you own a gun or do you have access to a gun? 3. Have you read Is Data Human? If not, why not? 4. In one of your website photos your face is covered in mud. Why? 5. If you never become a moderator what will you do? That’s all for now. May be other people could ask some as well. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/2 "2001-10-17T03:17:57Z")
1. Why is SPOOFE so smart, witty, and sexy? Was he born that way, or was it perfected through a lifetime of practice? 2. Do you still have your hair as long as I remember it? ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/3 "2001-10-17T03:29:29Z")
Sequential title fun: \*\*Ask SPOOFE! Do you EVER wash your feet? \*\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/4 "2001-10-17T03:38:37Z")
As far as I am concerned, **SPOOFE** has said a bit more about himself than anyone should ever have to bear witness to. I would direct you to a certain TMI thread that shall go unlinked here. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/5 "2001-10-17T03:38:52Z")
I’m game. Hey, **SPOOFE** shall I bring your little red case with me to Dopetoberfest? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Krispy\_Original](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/6 "2001-10-17T09:14:47Z")
Ok, I have one: SPOOFE, What is your favorite brand of lip balm? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/7 "2001-10-17T09:39:19Z")
Hey **SPOOFE** , are you in favor of Charlie Hustle being in the Hall of Fame? ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/8 "2001-10-17T09:54:29Z")
Seems like Spoofe might have done one line of Anthrax too many. You’re supposed to cut it first you silly. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/9 "2001-10-17T10:46:53Z")
Gah! My name’s in a thread title again! That always takes five years off my life when I see that… > [@](#): > > 1. You seem to play “what lies beneath?” a lot Spoofe. There is a suggestion that “down there” in Spoofeworld may not be…up to scratch. Do you do this A) to attract “shy” women B) because you send photos on request? Suggestion? Heck, I’ve flat out said it. In the TMI thread, I posted the exact size, in fact. But no, no pictures of “down there” in “SPOOFEWorld” (what an amusement park that’d be, eh?) will be forthcoming. I don’t want to break the camera. > [@](#): > > 1. Do you own a gun or do you have access to a gun? I do have access to a gun. I still live with me parents, remember? > [@](#): > > 1. Have you read Is Data Human? If not, why not? Nope. Never heard of it, actually. Is it any good? > [@](#): > > 1. In one of your website photos your face is covered in mud. Why? You’re probably referring to that freaky lookin’ pic in the “About Me” section (I plan on re-writing that… the bulk of it was written when I was still a snot-nosed High School kid, and I was depressed a lot more back then). That was actually just a boring ol’ pic of me making a silly face. Back then, I was new to using Paintshop Pro, and I had just gotten the hang of messing around with things like Hot Wax Coating and Solarization. > [@](#): > > 1. If you never become a moderator what will you do? Start a band called “The Shubdubs” (fifty SPOOFE points to anyone who recognizes this reference). Ashtar… > [@](#): > > 1. Why is SPOOFE so smart, witty, and sexy? Was he born that way, or was it perfected through a lifetime of practice? Lifetime of practice. Inadvertent practice, actually. Being a young, reserved kid back in Middle and High School, I developed emotional barriers that manifested themselves in haughtiness, abrasiveness, hyperactivity, and a desire to make with the laughs. And then I got zapped with a cosmic ray and mutated into SPOOFE. > [@](#): > > 1. Do you still have your hair as long as I remember it? Longer. It dangles down right in the middle of my shoulder blades now. KK… > [@](#): > > Ask SPOOFE! > Do you EVER wash your feet? Nope. Next question. 😃 Java… > [@](#): > > Hey, SPOOFE shall I bring your little red case with me to Dopetoberfest? Slap a string of Rosary beads upside my head and call my Jackson, I’m a lazy bastard, ain’t I? I keep meaning to pop on over there and snag it up, but my head is in the clouds (well, actually, _Counterstrike_). Yeah, bring it on down, and I’ll love you forever. Or if you can’t… well… I’ll still love you forever. Krispy… > [@](#): > > SPOOFE, What is your favorite brand of lip balm? Umm… the kind with Unguentine? Spooje… > [@](#): > > Hey SPOOFE, are you in favor of Charlie Hustle being in the Hall of Fame? No. Absolutely not. Never in a million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion years. Ever. Not on my watch, buster. Who’s Charlie Hustle? 'Nomer again… > [@](#): > > Seems like Spoofe might have done one line of Anthrax too many. You’re supposed to cut it first you silly. Ooh, thanks for telling me. I thought that it felt a little too strong. I kept coughing up blood really quickly each time I snorted. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/10 "2001-10-17T11:00:15Z")
Dear **SPOOFE** : You do know that you broke my heart when you took the _Calvin and Hobbes_ quote out of your sig, right? ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/11 "2001-10-17T11:51:21Z")
I’m glad for this thread because I’ve been trying to work out what I can do with 50,000 SPOOFE points (errr, be polite) – what’s the story, SPOOFE…what can I buy with 'em ? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/12 "2001-10-17T22:22:39Z")
> [@](#): > > You do know that you broke my heart when you took the Calvin and Hobbes quote out of your sig, right? I can’t stand a lady with a broken heart. I’ll have to bring it back post-haste. > [@](#): > > I’m glad for this thread because I’ve been trying to work out what I can do with 50,000 SPOOFE points (errr, be polite) – what’s the story, SPOOFE…what can I buy with 'em ? Well… er… nothing. SPOOFE points are worthless. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/13 "2001-10-17T22:35:57Z")
> [@](#): > > No. Absolutely not. Never in a million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion years. Ever. > Not on my watch, buster. Who’s Charlie Hustle? Gasp. Please tell me you’ve heard of Pete Rose. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/14 "2001-10-18T01:36:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > [Replying to: “If you never become a moderator what will you do?”] > Start a band called “The Shubdubs” (fifty SPOOFE points to anyone who recognizes this reference). Well, at first I was thinkin’ that you were making an obscure reference to Pink Floyd, who, early in their career, called themselves The Abdabs. Then I came across [this web page](http://www.csupomona.edu/~rbhumes/obwan.html), which is clearly Shubdubian in nature. So which is it, or am I off target completely? And I’d like to know two things: 1. Is your amputated Bo Diddley packed away for safekeeping? In salt? 2. If you threw a party and invited Al Gore, Eminem, Alan Greenspan, and the Pope, would you serve those little cocktail weiners, or would that be gauche? ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/15 "2001-10-18T01:40:51Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. If you threw a party and invited Al Gore, Eminem, Alan Greenspan, and the Pope, would you serve those little cocktail weiners, or would that be gauche? I can’t speak for the Pope, but serving those other “weiners” would just be in bad taste. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/16 "2001-10-18T01:53:46Z")
What is it with you and underpants? Every time I see you post the word “underpants”, I think you’re referring to me (yes, I _am_ self-centered, thanks for asking). It freaks me out. Kinda. A little. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/17 "2001-10-18T02:19:03Z")
What’s your favorute brand of toothpaste? ::wink wink:: ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/18 "2001-10-18T02:31:22Z")
**SPOOFE** : If you could be an aroma, what kind of gun would you buy; and would you erase your Read Think™? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/19 "2001-10-18T02:33:22Z")
Geez, I can’t type tonight. “Red Thing™”. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861/20 "2001-10-18T03:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Gasp. Please tell me you’ve heard of Pete Rose. Uh… ::rushes to Google… types in “Pete Rose”:: Yeah! I have! > [@](#): > > Well, at first I was thinkin’ that you were making an obscure reference to Pink Floyd, who, early in their career, called themselves The Abdabs. Then I came across this web page, which is clearly Shubdubian in nature. So which is it, or am I off target completely? Well, neither. A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away), the Beatles were on tour. The drummer (Ringo? I don’t have the story handy, and I’m terrible with Beatles lore) was ill, so they got a local guy to drum for them for the night. Anyways, after his experience playing with the Beatles, this substitute drummer started his own band called “The Shubdubs” that went nowhere. I’ll be nice and give you the SPOOFE points anyway, for trying so hard. > [@](#): > > 1. Is your amputated Bo Diddley packed away for safekeeping? In salt? Well, in liquified plutonium, actually. > [@](#): > > 1. If you threw a party and invited Al Gore, Eminem, Alan Greenspan, and the Pope, would you serve those little cocktail weiners, or would that be gauche? No, but I’d serve human weiners. Them’s tasty snacks, man. > [@](#): > > What is it with you and underpants? Every time I see you post the word “underpants”, I think you’re referring to me (yes, I am self-centered, thanks for asking). It freaks me out. Kinda. A little. “Underpants” is a funny word. In fact, I will go so far as to say that “Underpants” is the funniest word in the universe. Yes, it’s a fact. Also, there was an Internet list that took random quotes from Star Wars and replacd certain words with “Underpants” (such as “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the underpants” and “You don’t need to see his underpants.”) > [@](#): > > What’s your favorute brand of toothpaste? Colgate. It burns less. > [@](#): > > SPOOFE: If you could be an aroma, what kind of gun would you buy; and would you erase your [Red Thing]™? Well, I’d love to get my hands on an MP5… those’re decidedly cool. On the other hand, I’ve also grown quite a hardon for H&K’s G-36 system. And Accuracy International’s AW-50 rifle is downright evil-looking. I can’t choose!!! Argh!!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-spoofe/87861.md?page=2)