# Ask the 50's Dad... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 20, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546 "2005-09-20T15:51:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/41 "2005-09-20T19:48:44Z")
Dear 50s Dad, Some friends and me were talking about where we go to church. One guy said his family is Athiest. What kind of church is that? Signed, Good Christian Boy ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/42 "2005-09-20T19:57:57Z")
Dear 50’s Dad, I heard Pop complaining to Mom that some family called the “Nigras” or something like that are going to move into our neighborhood and destroy it. Who are these Nigras, and do they have special powers to tear down houses? – Scared In The Basement ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/43 "2005-09-20T20:16:18Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Dear Fifties Dad, > > I heard my dad say that no good American man would ever turn down a cold beer. But I like whisky better. Am I a communist? If so, how can I straighten out? Dear **Regallag\_The\_Axe** , There’s nothing wrong with Whisky, young man. I thik an upstanding young man like yourself is entitles to choose Whiskey over Beer. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/44 "2005-09-20T20:18:40Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Dear 50s Dad, > > Some friends and me were talking about where we go to church. One guy said his family is Athiest. What kind of church is that? > > Signed, > Good Christian Boy Dear **Good Christian Boy** , _ **Athiest** _ is just another word for Communist, son. But remember, just because this boy’s family are Communists doesn’t mean he is. Find out if this young man listens to rock n roll, and please write back. Good luck, and Godspeed. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/45 "2005-09-20T20:23:23Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Dear 50’s Dad, > I heard Pop complaining to Mom that some family called the “Nigras” or something like that are going to move into our neighborhood and destroy it. Who are these Nigras, and do they have special powers to tear down houses? > – Scared In The Basement Dear **Scared** , 50’s Dad doesn’t know much about the “Nigras”, either, but remember: it’s up to us to be good citizens, and when we meet new people we’ve got to put our best foot forward, and hope that they will, too. You should give these folks a chance, and as long as their not Communists, or listen to rock n roll music, you shouldn’t worry. Much. I mean not any more that you’d worry about anything else you don’t really understand. Which is _a lot_. Good luck, son. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/46 "2005-09-20T20:28:25Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Dear **Scared** , > 50’s Dad doesn’t know much about the “Nigras”, either, but remember: it’s up to us to be good citizens, and when we meet new people we’ve got to put our best foot forward, and hope that they will, too. You should give these folks a chance, and as long as their not Communists, or listen to rock n roll music, you shouldn’t worry. Much. I mean not any more that you’d worry about anything else you don’t really understand. Which is _a lot_. Good luck, son. What _is_ a Communist? You keep talking about them, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. What do they look like? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/47 "2005-09-20T20:35:24Z")
Dear 50’s Dad: You keep speaking about not listening to Rock and/or Roll music. Must what if it is Pat Boone or Ricky Nelson? Signed, Confused ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/48 "2005-09-20T20:36:13Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > What _is_ a Communist? You keep talking about them, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. What do they look like? Dear **MRS** , A Communist is someone who hates America and Americans, and our Democratic way of life. They look just like you and me, but they listen to rock n roll, drive tiny cars, and criticize our fine government (when they’re not plotting to overthrow it). They also have a predeliction towards being Actors and University Professors, and they usually abstain from alcohol (they’re hop-heads, every one). They also don’t believe in God, but they _do_ worship the Devil (in most cases, at least). I can’t stress enough the danger they pose to our fine Country and our Way Of Life. Berware, young lady! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/49 "2005-09-20T20:40:32Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Dear 50’s Dad: > > You keep speaking about not listening to Rock and/or Roll music. Must what if it is Pat Boone or Ricky Nelson? > > Signed, > Confused Dear **Confused** , **50’s Dad** doesn’t listen to much _modern music_ (I prefer the old standards), but I have it on good authority the Pat Boone is no Communist - he’s a fine, upstanding young man. As for Ricky Nelson, **50’s Dad** has trouble grasping why a young man would look so…feminine. He may indeed be a Communist. Probably safest to avoid him, wouldn’t you say, son? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/50 "2005-09-20T20:40:47Z")
Dear 50’s Dad; i think my neighbor might be a commie, he’s driving one of those tiny Japanese cars, and doesn’t seem to enjoy the Great American Pastime of Baseball, he _does_ like Apple Pie though, should i be checking our water supply for the presence of flouride? what branch of our government would be best equipped to deal with this threat? Sincerely; General Jack “D” Ripper ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/51 "2005-09-20T20:43:12Z")
**50’s Dad** is taking a break from the rigors of Advice Columnizing. I’m going home to spend some time with my wife and children. We’re having Pot Roast! My favorite. Please feel free to continue sending your questions. I’ll respond first this in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/52 "2005-09-20T20:45:45Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Dear 50’s Dad; > i think my neighbor might be a commie, he’s driving one of those tiny Japanese cars, and doesn’t seem to enjoy the Great American Pastime of Baseball, he _does_ like Apple Pie though, should i be checking our water supply for the presence of flouride? > > what branch of our government would be best equipped to deal with this threat? > > Sincerely; > General Jack “D” Ripper Dear **Jack** , It sure sounds like he’s a Communist to me. And you sound like a very insightful fella, so you should trust your instincts. Call your local PD. Your town’s finest are well equiped to deal with the “Red Threat”. Good luck, fine citizen, and remain diligent. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/53 "2005-09-20T20:49:43Z")
Dear 50’s Dad, Thanks, Dad! You are right about Communists and Rock’nRoll music. And more, they’ve infiltrated FOLK music, too! So says the Rev. Billy James Hargis, and he has the Lord on his side (the Christian Lord, that is, we all know the other lords are false idols). I just bought this book, [“Rhythm, Riots and Revolution,”](http://www.conelrad.com/media/atomicmusic/sh_boom.php?platter=22) which is: > [@](#): > > AMERICA’S MOST NEEDED BOOK > > The Book That Can Put Out The Fire Of Red Inspired Youth Revolution. > Read the unvarnished facts in “Rhythm, Riots and Revolution”…How the American Reds are using music to destroy our youth…Morally and Patriotically! > > It took TWO YEARS to write this book that proves beyond any shadow of doubt: (1) the communist use of RHYTHMIC-HYPNOTIC music; (2) the communist use of BEAT music; (3) the communist use of FOLK music; and (4) the communist use of ROCK ‘N’ FOLK music. > > This book proves that the riots in Berkely… the insurrection at Watts… were in part inspired by the jungle beat Communist planned music, and personally directed by the “generals” of this ungodly “communist music” crowd. > > Today’s youth possess the power to destroy the United States of America and well they may… unless the truths of this book can reach them in time! You can buy this valuable book everywhere fine tomes are sold. Just Google for the title (in quotes). Thanks, 50’s Dad, for saving me from hell and the Communists! I’ll never listen to godless folk music again! But what about jazz? Is that OK for white people to enjoy? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/54 "2005-09-20T20:51:36Z")
Dear 50s Dad I think your adivce to **DeVena** may be only half right. You know that all the great chefs are men, and that her husband may actually find it relaxing to cook after a hard day on Madison Avenue or Main Street. I think **DeVena** should get her hubby one of those big Chief Cook and Bottle Washer aprons and a tall chef hat and let him cook any time he wants. Of course, she should use her extra time those evenings to make herself extra-pretty and maybe give him a “special” dessert. What do you think? ---
**Author:** ![leandroc76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@leandroc76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leandroc76)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/55 "2005-09-20T21:16:19Z")
Dear 50’s Dad, I was listening to Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy Show on the radio. I heard a couple whose last name is Rosenberg and they were wanted. I live right next door to these people. What should I do? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/56 "2005-09-20T22:41:08Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Dear **Good Christian Boy** , > _ **Athiest** _ is just another word for Communist, son. But remember, just because this boy’s family are Communists doesn’t mean he is. Find out if this young man listens to rock n roll, and please write back. Good luck, and Godspeed. Dear 50’s Dad, I ask Timmy if he listens to rock ‘n roll. I don’t know if this tells you anything but he something about Big Bopper and Buddy Holly. I don’t know if that means anything but I know nobody with those names lives here in Mayfield. He also said I’d look good in “Chantilly Lace” and asked if I wanted to go to his house and play with his wienie. I told him that it’s wasteful to play with food like hot dogs. Do you think I should keep on playin’ with him 50’s Dad? Signed, Still A Good Christian Boy but Keeps Thinking About Playing With Wienies ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/57 "2005-09-20T22:45:08Z")
Dear 50’s Dad, What really happens at lodge meetings? My dad tries to keep it secret, but I know that at lodge meetings he wears the long, white robes that are hidden in his closet. Please fill us in on what dads do at these things. My big brother can’t wait to join! ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/58 "2005-09-20T23:14:33Z")
Dear 50s Dad, I’m sad that I wasn’t able to serve in World War Two like Uncle Johnny did. I’m also sad that you didn’t serve either. I bet you would have killed a million Communist Nazis. I want to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill, too. I’m going to be 18 in 1968. Do you think that there’ll be any way for me to shoot some Communists then? I mean, real legal-like, and not like when you and Uncle Johnny got drunk and started shooting at those Communist rock n’ rollers? Thanks, J.T. Davis ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/59 "2005-09-20T23:31:46Z")
Dear **50’s Dad** : I heard that a girl can get “in the family way” by swimming in a public swimming pool. I don’t want that to happen to me! Is it true? If so, I am never going to the public swimming pool again! What if it’s too late? Will I get sent away? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546/60 "2005-09-20T23:41:40Z")
Dear **50’s Dad** i hear we will have flying cars and personal helicopters in the far, far future time of 1999, if that’s true, i’m gonna party , what would you reccomend for responsible adult refreshments for the 1999 party, and should i have my personal robot serve my guests… oh, and how can we prevent our pesonal robot servants from becoming communists? how can you tell if someone is a commie, is there a blood test or something that needs to be done, i’m suspicious of my boss at work… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-50s-dad/322546.md?page=4)