# "Ask the \_\_\_\_\_" threads I hope to never see **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049 "2002-12-20T16:53:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/1 "2002-12-20T16:53:56Z")
There’s been a recent revival of the “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_” threads and the inevitable backlash against them. Just to have fun with this, what are some “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_” threads you hope to never see? Here are mine: Ask the Proctologist Ask the Undertaker Ask the Drug Addict Ask the Guy Who Watched Battlefield Earth (or some other excruciatingly deplorable movie) And Liked It (okay, this one may actually generate some amusing questions and answers) ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/2 "2002-12-20T16:56:41Z")
Ask the necrophiliac Ask the coprophage ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/3 "2002-12-20T16:59:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwc1970 \* > \*\*Ask the Undertaker > \*\* You don’t think that would be at least somewhat informative? I’m curious, because my husband works at a funeral home and I’m constantly having to answer questions about his line of work. It’s something I figured _someone_ would bring up eventually in all the ‘Ask the’ threads. You don’t think it would go over well? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/4 "2002-12-20T16:59:26Z")
Ask the Teenage Lesbian Zombie Tax Lawyer With Dreadlocks ---
**Author:** ![panache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c77e96/32.png) [@panache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/5 "2002-12-20T17:00:19Z")
Ask the philatelist ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/6 "2002-12-20T17:00:26Z")
Ask the man with a baby jesus butt-plug up his ass. ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/7 "2002-12-20T17:04:00Z")
Ask the turdburglar. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/8 "2002-12-20T17:05:56Z")
Ask The Two Computers, One Who Always Lies And One Who Always Tells The Truth ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/9 "2002-12-20T17:14:48Z")
Most of these are ones I’d **much** rather see than the ones we have. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/10 "2002-12-20T17:19:26Z")
Ask the leper. Ask the dead guy. Who else saw the thread title and immediately thought of Proctologist? ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/11 "2002-12-20T17:21:14Z")
Ask the Guy Without Internet Access ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/12 "2002-12-20T17:28:44Z")
Ask the gynecologist ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/13 "2002-12-20T17:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Xanax \* > \*\*Ask the gynecologist \*\* Sorry - I already have a list of questions for that thread… ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/14 "2002-12-20T17:32:36Z")
Ask the 50 year old guy who lives with his mommy and spends all day in his bedroom eating cold pizza, viewing internet porn and posting on message boards. Ask the trainspotter.\* Ask the guy who’s been sleeping with your wife for the last 5 years and is the father of at least one of your children. Ask the serial killer who’s sitting in a van that’s parked outside your house while running a sharp knife lovingly over the photos he’s been taking of you for the last month.\*\* Kal \*Might be covered by my first suggestion. \*\*Might be covered by my first suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/15 "2002-12-20T17:35:34Z")
Don’t Ask the Man from Opposite Land. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/16 "2002-12-20T17:42:07Z")
I was going to do “Ask the Liar” but it seemed to be too much effort for too few laffs. “Ask the Guy Who Starts a Thread and Then Abandons It” was less effort, but again, not much laffs. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/17 "2002-12-20T17:47:04Z")
Ask the Troll might be slightly amusing depending on who started it and how wacky the questions got. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/18 "2002-12-20T18:15:33Z")
Ask the kitten-drowner. Ask the Rush Limbaugh. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/19 "2002-12-20T18:46:48Z")
Ask the Masturbator Ask the Partial-Birth Abortionist Ask the Cannibal Ask the Beastiality guy Ask the guy who’ll just say “duh…I dunno.” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049/20 "2002-12-20T18:53:21Z")
Ask the clueless newbee might be worth a laugh [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-_____-threads-i-hope-to-never-see/144049.md?page=2)