# Ask the accupuncture patient!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826 "2001-11-06T18:16:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/1 "2001-11-06T18:16:40Z")
I know, this is what you’ve all been waiting for! Your personal guide to the most mystical of Eastern medical practices! _Yo, Fats, man, lemme tell ya my story._\* I’m a scientist by training. Degree in chemistry, degree in education, degree in educational measurement and statistics. Scientist to the core. None of this New Age Yanni crap for me. I also suffer (and I mean SUFFER) from alergies. I react horribly to ANY antihistamines (as in heart stoppage kind of stuff) and have been on prescription drugs for my allergies for quite some time. I really want this allergy stuff gone. I haven’t taken a clear breath through my nose in 12 years. I’m open to new things. So… I’ve been getting acupuncture treatments for a while (5 treatments so far) for allergies. While it seems to be helping, I must consider that it’s also closing in on winter and my allergies go soft during the colder months. Now’s your chance! Ask me anything regarding my treatments. I’ll answer all when I can. Go on, stick it to me. I know you’re on pins and needles to get started. (or you can just needle me about my non-scientific treatments.) Enough of the puns, let’s get started! ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/2 "2001-11-06T18:17:42Z")
Well, to answer the first, unasked question, the treatments may have affected my ability to code. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Qis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Qis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qis)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/3 "2001-11-06T18:46:38Z")
how deep do the pins(needles?) go in? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/4 "2001-11-06T19:08:13Z")
If they stick you in the wrong place, does it hurt somewhere else (accutorture)? ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/5 "2001-11-06T19:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*how deep do the pins(needles?) go in? \*\* Depends. Each needle is approximately 1 1/4 inches long (not counting the “handle” part. In metric, that’s something like 8.973 giga-liters or something. Imagine this needle length divided into to equal lengths (called fen). My acupuncturist inserts needles anywhere from 2 to 4 fen, depending on the situation. (that’s about 1/2 to 1 cm deep) > [@](#): > > **what happens if u flex your muscles after they stab you** Actually, I’ve done this. Not a real “muscle beach” flex, but raised my arm (to scratch my head) with needles in it. Sometimes I feel nothing (especially forearms) but sometimes it feels a bit owie. I always get one in the muscle between my thumb and index finger. If I wiggle my fingers or raise my thumb, I can feel it. It’s not a sharp pain at all. I can sort of explain it as a sharp soreness kind of like pushing on a bruise. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/6 "2001-11-06T21:46:58Z")
My girlfriend is an acupuncturist. Consequently, if I ever let on that _anything_ is wrong, I get “the treatment.” (As soon as she comes back from her run she’s going to torture the sore throat out of me.) My question is this: Have you had the “CV” (Conception Vessel) points done yet? (These are the points between your navel and your groin that make you pray for a quick death.) How often are you willing to submit to this? I argue against it bitterly, but she insists it’s what keeps me in the absurdly oversexed condition that she’s accustomed to. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/7 "2001-11-07T01:48:50Z")
Okay, I’m just recovering from my ordeal, which was inflicted on me because I made the mistake of letting on that I’ve had a sore throat for a while. This one hurt more than any of the others. Jesus. The points in my [feet](http://www.mudd.dhs.org/geene/acc6.jpg) make it a little hard to walk for a half-hour or so after the needles come out. As usual, though, the [CV points](http://www.mudd.dhs.org/geene/acc1.jpg) hurt more than I care to describe. She says that this is because I drink too much coffee, “do too much sex”, and consume too much sacred ghee, but I’m pretty sure that it’s because I have _fucking needles_ sticking into my vital organs a couple of inches. > [@](#): > > **Ethilrist:** If they stick you in the wrong place, does it hurt somewhere else (accutorture)? Actually, that’s what happens when they hit the _right_ spot. For example, there’s a point which is called stomach 36, (which is a few inches below the knee, oddly enough,) which causes a sharp pain around your ankle. Nerves are funny. [sub]I will never hear the end of it if I don’t include an obligatory link to The Female’s acupuncture [page](http://www.npsnet.com/holimed/acuPrinc.html).[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-accupuncture-patient/91826/8 "2001-11-07T15:31:09Z")
**Ethilrist** , practitioners are very careful and knowledgeable. They stick the needles in the right place. As **Larry Mudd** stated, however, often the placement of a needle “creates” a profound sensation elsewhere. When I get a needle in the top of my shin muscle (below and outside of the knee) I often feel it all through my lower leg and ankle. When I get an “in-and-out” on my wrist (as opposed to a “leave-in”, I can feel it mostly between my thumb and index finger. **Larry** , I’ve never had CV points done, and from the sound of it, I may never want to. Of course, everyone handles the needles differently. I don’t feel anything at the insertion site (except ears – ouch), and in very few sites do I feel the “other site” thing (just the two I’ve mentioned). My practioner treats a fireman who screams so loudly at insertion that she has to schedule him after hours – when the rest of the office is empty! From the picture you posted, it looks like you have a needle in “Happy-Calm” (the one on the top of the foot). I find this site neither. 🙂