# Ask the adoptee who now has the info to find his bio parents **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306 "2014-02-14T04:52:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/1 "2014-02-14T04:52:51Z")
My parents mailed me a document with information I can use to find my biological parents. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/2 "2014-02-14T04:56:20Z")
Is that something you want to do? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/3 "2014-02-14T05:02:43Z")
What’re your plans? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/4 "2014-02-14T05:10:44Z")
Absolutely! Asking my parents for the document was the point. My next step is probably going to the courthouse to get current addresses, or maybe just Googling them. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/5 "2014-02-14T05:21:22Z")
How old are you? Did your folks initially withhold info about your bio parents, or did they willingly give it to you when you asked? How long had you been thinking about getting in touch with the b-parent/s before now? Are you excited? I would be!!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/6 "2014-02-14T05:57:57Z")
Do you already know anything about them or the circumstances that led to your adoption? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/7 "2014-02-14T06:33:38Z")
Yup, I have no memory on not knowing I’m adopted (I’ll be 36 in 3 weeks) I had a paper with some info, but it got misplaced. My adoption was due to my bio parents fearing they couldn’t adequately care for me. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/8 "2014-02-14T06:42:14Z")
So, what do you know about them already? ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/9 "2014-02-14T06:58:07Z")
Good luck! I have contacted my Bio-Mum, but have hit a dead-end with bio dad. Have found the guy bio-mum says it was, but he denies knowing her. Dunno what I am going to do next. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/10 "2014-02-14T07:06:18Z")
I have their names, my mother’s maiden name, their jobs, where my grandmother lived. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/11 "2014-02-14T07:55:54Z")
Are you sure they’re still alive? Do you know if they want to be contacted (not sure that should be a consideration.) ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/12 "2014-02-14T09:16:25Z")
I hope it goes well for you. I’m like you in that I’ve always known I was adopted. I really don’t understand why some families try to keep it secret. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/13 "2014-02-14T09:28:17Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > Are you sure they’re still alive? Do you know if they want to be contacted (not sure that should be a consideration.) My adopted mother also gave a child up for adoption when she was young (which was how my parents came to meet) She looked for her daughter, only to be rebuffed. Daughter came back looking for her about 5 years after mum passed away ☹ ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/14 "2014-02-14T10:21:43Z")
Oops, I missed that this was an ‘Ask the…’ thread! Questions! How would you describe your relationship with your family? Do you feel that has driven your desire to find your bio parents? What is your main reason for wanting to find your bio parents? Are you hoping for a physical meeting with either bio parent? If yes, what are your expectations? How do you expect your life to be different after meeting them? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/15 "2014-02-14T14:24:53Z")
Do they know that you have their information? How do your parents feel about this? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/16 "2014-02-14T17:52:41Z")
I do kinda worry they’re deceased, which fuels my urgency to find them. The idea of me looking has always been with me, and parents have always been ok with it. I do plan a f2f meeting. Unsure how I’d handle rebuffing. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/17 "2014-02-14T17:53:09Z")
Have you tried using this website? > **[Can't Find Your Birth Parents?](https://www.adopted.com/)** > > Kelle - found her mother within 24 hours of registering on Adopted.com! Let us help you reunite with your biological parents. If BOTH parties (child and bio parent) want to find each other its a clearinghouse for the info it seems. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/18 "2014-02-14T18:59:55Z")
How old were you when you were adopted? Do you know you were adopted because you remember or because you were told? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/19 "2014-02-14T19:44:58Z")
I was formally adopted at 18 months, but my Mom and Dad had me basically by age 2 days. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306/20 "2014-02-14T21:55:22Z")
My therapist is worried my motivation for meeting my bio parents is to rub it in that I turned out ok, despite what they were told my life would be like. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-adoptee-who-now-has-the-info-to-find-his-bio-parents/681306.md?page=2)