# Ask the Average Guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900 "2003-11-07T15:31:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/21 "2003-11-07T21:53:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*How long’s your penis? \*\* Ah, I just now realized the implication of your question. About 14 inches. Don’t feel bad though, if your not up to par. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/22 "2003-11-07T21:59:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The\_Immortal\_Mango \* > \*\*How best to dispose of a hundred thousand (ant) bodies defore the UN find out where I’ve hid them? \*\* Well, the wicker man approach worked pretty well for the Nazi’s, though the ashes can be a _bit_ of a telltale heart. Try vats of acid. Or concrete! Build a shopping mall with bodies in the concrete. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/23 "2003-11-07T22:05:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*Ah, I just now realized the implication of your question. About 14 inches. Don’t feel bad though, if your not up to par. \*\* WRONG! [5.877](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles155.html). You’re fired as the average guy. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/24 "2003-11-07T22:12:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*WRONG! [5.877](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles155.html). You’re fired as the average guy. \*\* It’s okay if you are underendowed! Like I said, noone will think any less of you with a 5.877 inch penis! Really! Now you can dig up all the spurious cites you want, it won’t change the facts. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/25 "2003-11-08T00:48:00Z")
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? What is the average guy’s favorite color? How many nude pictures of Bea Arthur do you own, and how many are autographed? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/26 "2003-11-08T04:34:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? > > What is the average guy’s favorite color? > > How many nude pictures of Bea Arthur do you own, and how many are autographed? \*\* 1. 98.4 Don’t argue with me! 2. Puce 3. Umm. I don’t uh. Know what you’re uh. talkin… Ahem. What were you saying? ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/27 "2003-11-08T04:38:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vetch \* > \*\*I have to varnish some mdf, do I need to seal it first? > > V \*\* Why varnish? MDF has no natural grain or surface features - usually you either veneer or paint the stuff. I did a multiple coat black laquer job on some MDF which turned out okay, but it did take WAY more laquer than I expected to cover properly. Bottom line - it probably couldn’t hurt to seal it first. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/28 "2003-11-08T04:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fuji Kitakyusho \* > \*\*Why varnish? MDF has no natural grain or surface features - usually you either veneer or paint the stuff. I did a multiple coat black laquer job on some MDF which turned out okay, but it did take WAY more laquer than I expected to cover properly. Bottom line - it probably couldn’t hurt to seal it first. \*\* WHO IS THE FUCKING AVERAGE GUY HERE!!! WHO!?!?!?!?! YOU EVER TRY TO MUSCLE IN ON MY TERRITORY AGAIN, I’LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!! Ok, what were we talking about? I need some coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/29 "2003-11-08T04:44:05Z")
Please don’t ban me for that. Joke, see? ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/30 "2003-11-08T04:49:09Z")
Hello Average Guy. When did you first realise you were average? I’m super macho, good-looking and way too intelligent for my own good, but I just wanna be average like you. Where do I begin? ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/31 "2003-11-08T05:34:34Z")
Why does it hurt when you pee? ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/32 "2003-11-08T05:35:43Z")
And I do mean _you_… not me. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/33 "2003-11-08T05:53:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fuji Kitakyusho \* > \*\*Why varnish? MDF has no natural grain or surface features - usually you either veneer or paint the stuff. I did a multiple coat black laquer job on some MDF which turned out okay, but it did take WAY more laquer than I expected to cover properly. Bottom line - it probably couldn’t hurt to seal it first. \*\* MDF is more absorbent because it’s Maximum Density Fiberboard. There’s just simply more to absorb. I’d suggest either lots of coats or a good sealant beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/34 "2003-11-08T06:38:24Z")
What is the difference between mean, median and mode. I always get that mixed up. ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/35 "2003-11-08T08:18:24Z")
I thought MDF was _medium_ density fiberboard? And Ilsa, sorry 'bout that 14" penis, it must suck to pass out from pseudo-blood loss whenever you get an erection. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/36 "2003-11-08T09:08:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*Are you trying to say that you don’t think Ilsa is a unisex name? \*\* Umm… yeah? Kinda? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/37 "2003-11-08T10:40:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*WRONG! [5.877](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles155.html). You’re fired as the average guy. \*\* Ah, but **Bruce\_Daddy** , that study doesn’t reflect that the average guy _lies_ about said length. And that the average length in said lie is … 14 inches!! ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/38 "2003-11-08T14:58:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Hello Average Guy. > > When did you first realise you were average? > > I’m super macho, good-looking and way too intelligent for my own good, but I just wanna be average like you. Where do I begin? 1)Wife Beaters 2)Miller Lite and (on special occasions) Bud Lite 3)Good looking is okay, as the average guy has a girlfriend or wife, but stop working out immediately. > [@](#): > > Why does it hurt when you pee? > > * * * Haven’t drunk enough water during the day. > [@](#): > > What is the difference between mean, median and mode. I always get that mixed up. Mean refers to the absolute averae of sample N (in (Delta X)/N=X bar. Median refers to the central pivotal value of set N (1,2,3,4,5) median=3. Mode is the relative maximum of sample N. The value range with the highest frequencey F. > [@](#): > > And Ilsa, sorry 'bout that 14" penis, it must suck to pass out from pseudo-blood loss whenever you get an erection. Well, I get by. > [@](#): > > Umm… yeah? Kinda? Mommy LIED? > [@](#): > > Ah, but Bruce\_Daddy, that study doesn’t reflect that the average guy lies about said length. And that the average length in said lie is … 14 inches!! What lie? ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/39 "2003-11-08T15:11:59Z")
According to the US Center for Statistical Stuff, the average American male has had 3.3 sexual partners. That average age of the female population is 35.2 years. This means that you have had sex with 3 partners 35.2 years old and one partner a child of 10.56 years. You sick pervert. You should be ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900/40 "2003-11-08T15:18:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racer72 \* > \*\*According to the US Center for Statistical Stuff, the average American male has had 3.3 sexual partners. That average age of the female population is 35.2 years. This means that you have had sex with 3 partners 35.2 years old and one partner a child of 10.56 years. You sick pervert. You should be ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself? \*\* I haven’t actually had any sexual partners. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-average-guy/211900.md?page=3)