# Ask the bastard from IT **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 16, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938 "2010-07-16T16:52:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/21 "2010-07-16T23:44:04Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > I store my favorite 3 terabytes of crap in my outlook in box. > Why is it so sluggish to load? > > I know its Friday and close to quitting time but I need you to get me a new computer. Have we met? ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/22 "2010-07-17T00:23:52Z")
So do you ever need to call tech support? ---
**Author:** ![cstamets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/958977/32.png) [@cstamets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cstamets)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/23 "2010-07-17T02:28:02Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > Have you ever wondered why the IT guy is such a prick? Why he’s so arrogant? Condescending? Sarcastic? Have you ever wanted to ask him “What’s you’re fucking problem?” Well. > > Now’s you chance. Don’t bother asking me how to fix your petty Outlook issues. I won’t answer, and it’s liable to get you bitch-slapped. Otherwise, the field is pretty much open. > > Ask away, Lusers. My IT guy keeps telling me he has to get his lart to fix an ID tent problem. I don’t understand technology speak. What is he saying is wrong with my computer? What do you mean the coffee I just spilled into my computer isn’t covered under the warranty? ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/24 "2010-07-17T02:41:59Z")
I called the IT help desk because an application I needed to use was “down for maintenance”(because it crashed overnight) and the ITiot told me to reboot _my_ computer. I had to explain to him that the application was being run on a server and I was trying to log on via a web browser. I don’t even think he was just fucking with me - he just had no clue what I was telling him. This same company took 5 days to figure out that they had mistyped my name in SAP, and that’s why I couldn’t access anything whatsoever on any computer. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/25 "2010-07-17T02:47:31Z")
Our IT guy is really nice. Just last week he brought in a flat of perfect strawberries to celebrate his son’s first birthday, and he fixes everything same day. Do you ever worry that you’ll be replaced by a robot? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/26 "2010-07-17T03:39:00Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I called the IT help desk because an application I needed to use was “down for maintenance”(because it crashed overnight) and the ITiot told me to reboot _my_ computer. I had to explain to him that the application was being run on a server and I was trying to log on via a web browser. I don’t even think he was just fucking with me - he just had no clue what I was telling him. > > This same company took 5 days to figure out that they had mistyped my name in SAP, and that’s why I couldn’t access anything whatsoever on any computer. I can answer this one. Departments like to design and/or buy their own little sets of programs for specific functions for their jobs. It’s great. Everybody’s happy. Not one of them has mentioned they use SkartMet LD 2003 to the helpdesk, who is unaware of it’s existance. So a ticket is made, phone calls to managers are made, emails fly. “WTF is this fucking software?” is usually the subject line. Find out that all the documentation was supposed to be sent from the designers to the helpdesk so we could make tech docs for it and become familiar. It wasn’t. Oops. This happens with regularity. Out of four large companies I’ve worked for it happens everywhere. SAP is designed by angry OCD driven Germans who hate concepts like “ease of use” and “quick loading times”. And don’t ask if it’s pronounced sap or Ess Aye Pee. No one knows. No one cares. ---
**Author:** ![nuggz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@nuggz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nuggz)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/27 "2010-07-17T03:43:55Z")
haha… I work at Radio Shack (dont hate me), and I get the dumbest questions EVER all of the time. And it is hard not to be arrogant/condecending to the people who dont know the difference between a SIM card and a MicroSD card, or the people who can’t figure out how to delete caller-id numbers. Also, way off topic (as if this isn’t already far enough off), the people who come in saying “I’m building a modular car with ultra-sonic headlights, which type of resister do I need?”. Fuck if I know. Find a schematic online and figure it out yourself, smarty pants. If I were an engineer or electrician, I surely would not be working for $10 an hour at “The Shack”. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/28 "2010-07-17T06:18:44Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > So do you ever need to call tech support? Yeah. I tell them I have done such-and-such, and if they ask me to do it again, I do. The 5-10 minutes it takes to go through the script before we get to the root of the problem doesn’t bother me. However, I am also one of those people who is patient with new service employees and kinks in the self-checkout machines that are beginning to crop up around here. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/29 "2010-07-17T06:53:27Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > SAP is designed by angry OCD driven Germans who hate concepts like “ease of use” and “quick loading times”. And don’t ask if it’s pronounced sap or Ess Aye Pee. No one knows. No one cares. According to one accountant–“Sorry Ass Program” ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/30 "2010-07-17T06:56:52Z")
> [@nuggz](#): > > haha… I work at Radio Shack (dont hate me), and I get the dumbest questions EVER all of the time. And it is hard not to be arrogant/condecending to the people who dont know the difference between a SIM card and a MicroSD card, or the people who can’t figure out how to delete caller-id numbers. > > Also, way off topic (as if this isn’t already far enough off), the people who come in saying “I’m building a modular car with ultra-sonic headlights, which type of resister do I need?”. Fuck if I know. Find a schematic online and figure it out yourself, smarty pants. If I were an engineer or electrician, I surely would not be working for $10 an hour at “The Shack”. Certainly, you’ve found your niche. Bless your little heart. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/31 "2010-07-17T07:44:10Z")
My current struggle with our IT guy is that he can’t set up a network correctly, so he keeps telling me that autohiding the taskbar and changing the Windows XP theme to silver means that all the problems I’m having trying to print to a network printer is my fault. Then he’ll swear up and down that I’ve changed the network settings when all I’ve done is install Firefox - which I’m allowed to do. We’re getting quote from another couple IT companies 🙂 whew! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/32 "2010-07-17T11:13:04Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > All you really need to know about bastards from IT can be found in this series: > [BOFH](http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/) > > 😃 Thanks, Chachi. We all know about the BOFH (we’ve got the Internet, too). ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/33 "2010-07-17T12:08:48Z")
> [@nuggz](#): > > haha… I work at Radio Shack (dont hate me), and I get the dumbest questions EVER all of the time. Wow, that’s…um…I can’t quite picture how that works. > [@](#): > > And it is hard not to be arrogant/condecending to the people who dont know the difference between a SIM card and a MicroSD card, or the people who can’t figure out how to delete caller-id numbers. Ha ha! People who know less than me are ignorant morons! > [@](#): > > Also, way off topic (as if this isn’t already far enough off), the people who come in saying “I’m building a modular car with ultra-sonic headlights, which type of resister do I need?”. Fuck if I know. Find a schematic online and figure it out yourself, smarty pants. If I were an engineer or electrician, I surely would not be working for $10 an hour at “The Shack”. Ha ha! People who know more than me are arrogant morons! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/34 "2010-07-17T13:27:55Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Wow, that’s…um…I can’t quite picture how that works. > > Ha ha! People who know less than me are ignorant morons! > > Ha ha! People who know more than me are arrogant morons! I like your style 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/35 "2010-07-17T13:42:26Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I like your style 🙂 Smeg’s got style Smeg’s got class All the ladies Wanna touch his hieney ---
**Author:** ![nuggz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@nuggz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nuggz)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/36 "2010-07-17T13:50:59Z")
**smeghead** , Ha ha! Did you miss the premise behind this thread? If you did, I can help. IT people are dicks because they have to deal with (what they consider) stupid questions/people all of the time. I was relating to this by stating some of the stupid questions I have to deal with at my rather basic, not too difficult, job. I’m sure anyone, at any job, deals with stupid questions and stupid people. You also have to deal with them on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/37 "2010-07-17T14:01:44Z")
> [@nuggz](#): > > You also have to deal with them on the internet. Yes, I do. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/38 "2010-07-17T16:07:21Z")
If we’re also talking about customer support, I just find it annoying when it turns out I know more about computers than the person I’m talking to, and when it turns they can’t help, they tell me to call another company. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/39 "2010-07-17T16:07:55Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > I can answer this one. Departments like to design and/or buy their own little sets of programs for specific functions for their jobs. It’s great. Everybody’s happy. Not one of them has mentioned they use SkartMet LD 2003 to the helpdesk, who is unaware of it’s existance. So a ticket is made, phone calls to managers are made, emails fly. “WTF is this fucking software?” is usually the subject line. Find out that all the documentation was supposed to be sent from the designers to the helpdesk so we could make tech docs for it and become familiar. It wasn’t. Oops. I get that, except that this is a purchased application that’s been in use for a at least a year by two departments (one of them being the massive internationally based Environment, Health and Safety department) and I know for a fact that the IT guys were given a process matrix in order to know who to contact/what to do in case this server went down (which it does a lot - there’s a problem with the overnight batch runs) and basically the guy I spoke to was just an idiot who couldn’t do his job. But in general, I get your point and that would annoy me too. In another story, I once worked somewhere were for some reason or other the Shared network drive would disappear from computers randomly, and since mapping it again is rather trivial, I called IT to simply ask for the name of the server so I could write it down once and for all and re-map it when needed. I thought that was a pretty clear request, but apparently they needed to come to the lab and look at the problem directly in order to help me. The guy then had to go back to the IT department to get the name of the server, so he could come back and map it… While he was doing that, I just transcribed the name and took care of it since. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938/40 "2010-07-17T17:55:26Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I called the IT help desk because an application I needed to use was “down for maintenance”(because it crashed overnight) and the ITiot told me to reboot _my_ computer. I had to explain to him that the application was being run on a server and I was trying to log on via a web browser. I don’t even think he was just fucking with me - he just had no clue what I was telling him. Could be that it changed IP addresses and the DNS has to update. Simplest way to get a user to do that is reboot. Got a problem at my work with an intranet app, where every so often, a computer loses the route and it decides to go look at the internet instead. Reboot fixes it. (Not gonna walk a user through command line work.) You might have been looking at the ‘old’ server. Or, you know, not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bastard-from-it/546938.md?page=3)