# Ask the bisexual male teenager **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957 "2003-07-08T08:00:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/41 "2003-07-10T19:29:41Z")
Ah, but suppose this fictional person replies: “Sure I did. I had crushes on guys and girls. But when I actually tried to do something with a guy, I wasn’t as turned on as I thought I’d be. But when I was with a girl - wow! That’s why today, I’m exclusively attracted to girls.” ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/42 "2003-07-10T19:34:40Z")
Hey, Bricker… what’s the difference between posing this as a hypothetical question, and hiding behind a fictional person who’s acting as your mouthpiece, and actually asking the question? ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/43 "2003-07-10T19:37:40Z")
I don’t know what I’d say to that… ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/44 "2003-07-10T20:11:32Z")
Well, to jump in, I’d say that just because I’m young, doesn’t mean I’ve never messed around with a guy/girl/whatever. So to act as if the person has never experienced anything (regardless of \Aslan of Narnia\'s personal experiences are), is simply silly, because most teens, have, gosh, surprise, messed around, or had intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/45 "2003-07-10T20:13:42Z")
Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/46 "2003-07-10T20:24:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bricker \* > \*\*If someone were to come along and say to you: “Bah! You’re just a young’un. You don’t KNOW that you’re {straight | gay | bisexual } yet! You have to actually have sex of some sort before you know!” what would your response be? \*\* I came out at 17 to my family, nearly a year before I had sex for the first time. Coleen(the gestation unit) posed the same question to me. I just knew. The first time I had sex, it was with a man, and it was the right thing. ---
**Author:** ![Crivens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Crivens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crivens)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/47 "2003-07-10T20:43:00Z")
**Aslan of Narnia** , Are bisexual people (and you in particular) someone who is attracted to both sexes, or someone to whom the gender of the individual you are attracted to doesn’t matter? Does that make sense? I think there is a subtle difference. If i’m not making sense, tell me. I’ll spend a few minutes trying to word it better. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/48 "2003-07-10T20:51:11Z")
The difference, **MrVisible** is that I wouldn’t ask that question. If I had been asked that question myself when I was a teen without any actual flesh-on-flesh experience, I might have replied to such a question as follows: “Sure, I acknowledge that, although I fantasize about girls now, the possibility exists that when it actually comes time to experience intimate contact, things may change; tne years from now, I may find myself only attracted to men.” “But,” my teenage self would have continued, “I don’t see how that admission changes anything. Right now, my plan is to get with girls. If that changes, then it changes, and undoubtedly many things will change as I grow older, and I’ll simply have to plan to respond to changing circumstances as best as I can. But right now, the best information I have, based on my feelings and fantasies, is that I’m straight. Who knows what the future may bring?” So if **Aslan** were to adopt my answer, he might have responded to the fictional questioner, “The best information I have, based on my feelings and fantasies, is that I’m bi - but who knows what the future may bring?” But **Aslan** is not me, and is in no wise obligated to adopt my reasoning or conclusions. He may well have some utterly different take on the situation, which is what I was exploring. Does that answer your question, **MrVisible**? - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/49 "2003-07-10T20:57:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if you don’t know i won’t tell \* > \*\*Well, to jump in, I’d say that just because I’m young, doesn’t mean I’ve never messed around with a guy/girl/whatever. So to act as if the person has never experienced anything (regardless of \Aslan of Narnia\'s personal experiences are), is simply silly, because most teens, have, gosh, surprise, messed around, or had intercourse. \*\* Well, **iydkiwty** , I (or my fictional alter ego) didn’t make this assumption out of the blue. I had asked **Aslan** this specific question, and his response was that he hadn’t messed around with either a guy or a girl yet. So far from being “silly,” I’d argue that it’s a very well-grounded assumption, insofar as **Aslan** goes. Don’t you agree? - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/50 "2003-07-10T21:03:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crivens \* > \*\ ***Aslan of Narnia** , Are bisexual people (and you in particular) someone who is attracted to both sexes, or someone to whom the gender of the individual you are attracted to doesn’t matter? > > Does that make sense? I think there is a subtle difference. If i’m not making sense, tell me. I’ll spend a few minutes trying to word it better. \*\* As a semi-bisexual (Kinsey 5ish, I’m young and I drift 😉 ), my experience has been attraction to both sexes. Gender _is_ relevant in that attraction, because what is attractive in a male is not the same as what attracts me in a female. I can’t grasp how it could ever truly be _irrelevant_. But YMMV ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/51 "2003-07-11T01:59:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crivens \* > \*\ ***Aslan of Narnia** , Are bisexual people (and you in particular) someone who is attracted to both sexes, or someone to whom the gender of the individual you are attracted to doesn’t matter? > > Does that make sense? I think there is a subtle difference. If i’m not making sense, tell me. I’ll spend a few minutes trying to word it better. \*\* Perhaps you should word it slightly different, because the question doesn’t really make all that much sense to me. And Bricker has me confused. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/52 "2003-07-11T03:30:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan of Narnia \* > \*\*Perhaps you should word it slightly different, because the question doesn’t really make all that much sense to me. > > And Bricker has me confused. \*\* Let me see if I can rephrase Criven’s question, because it does draw a fine distinction. Some bisexuals I’ve spoken with in the past have stated that they fall in love with personality, not physique. Thus gender makes no difference for them. Others say that they are attracted to both genders. They find specific attributes attractive in a male, and different attributes attractive in a female. I suppose there’s a middle ground of finding certain physical attributes attractive in _both_ genders, but maybe thats placing too much grey in an already fine line. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/53 "2003-07-11T03:49:08Z")
If I understand correctly… What I find is that in general, what I want in a personality is usually the same for both sexes. I am attracted to some parts of the body, some more so in one sex than the other. I also prefer physical traits in one sex that I don’t for the other. Is that what you mean? ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/54 "2003-07-11T03:54:17Z")
Asexual people are people who are not attracted to either sex. If you’re attracted to both, I’d say it’s bisexual, even if it’s not a sexual attraction… which would clarify the funky business of whether it’s a sexual attraction or emotional, psychological, or even strictly physical but non sexual. Now… if you’re attracted to neither sex sexually speaking… then you’d be asexual. I think that’s the clearest I can comprehend it at the moment. [hijack]There’s a common silliness, and while it’s a joke, I think some people actually take it seriously, that bi people are attracted to ‘everyone’. Yeah, like straight people are attracted to every member of the opposite sex? Suuuure. 😉 [/hijack] I responded, as I did, because, given that it were a fictional person, the person would **not** know **Aslan of Narnia** ’s (whew) sexual history. Forgive me for that simple assumption… after awhile one gets so used to being assumed about, you become far too suspect and jumpy about it. My apologies. Someday I’ll get VB **not** confused with HTML. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/55 "2003-07-11T04:05:48Z")
Er… that you were referring to **all** teens. Many people have that viewpoint, oddly enough, which is why I was so touchy. Someday I’ll learn to make sense, too. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/56 "2003-07-11T08:23:25Z")
Okay. What would you do if you got word that the world was about to end in a week, two days, fourteen hours and eleven minutes, and you had a tiny spaceship which could only hold five people and seven houseplants but had no indoor plumbing whatsoever and the navigation system was messed up to the point where you might end up on either Mars or Oompaloompaland, but that mad scientist from down the block and his beautiful young daughter and handsome young son had a radical new idea for an interstellar drive, except in order to make it work everybody had to act like chimpanzees the whole time they were on the ship? ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/57 "2003-07-11T09:36:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\*Okay. What would you do if you got word that the world was about to end in a week, two days, fourteen hours and eleven minutes, and you had a tiny spaceship which could only hold five people and seven houseplants but had no indoor plumbing whatsoever and the navigation system was messed up to the point where you might end up on either Mars or Oompaloompaland, but that mad scientist from down the block and his beautiful young daughter and handsome young son had a radical new idea for an interstellar drive, except in order to make it work everybody had to act like chimpanzees the whole time they were on the ship? \*\* Well, I believe I would dismantle the rocketship, and rebulid it into a rocket pack that could travel thru the annals of space. Then, I would blast off into the sun, letting it’s heat melt me. Then I would rise out of the ashes of my former self, ignite the moon into it’s crispy, cut it up and serve Moon calamari to please the sun and the other celestial lords. Then, I would race back down to earth, and take all the people of the earth and teleport them to the moon, where they’ll live off of Baked Moon for the rest of the human races life. ---
**Author:** ![Crivens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Crivens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crivens)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/58 "2003-07-11T16:25:10Z")
Thank you **Priam** that was perfect. Yes **A O N** that was what I was asking. I think from your answer you are “attracted to both sexes”. Erm, another question… Do you believe in a God? If so, can you describe him? e.g: The doctrinal Christian God, or something different? Is this something you’ve ever discusses with anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/59 "2003-07-11T22:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crivens \* > \*\* > Erm, another question… > > Do you believe in a God? If so, can you describe him? e.g: The doctrinal Christian God, or something different? Is this something you’ve ever discusses with anyone? \*\* No, I don’t believe in god, or any other christian stuff. It is very interesting to study, though. I’d say that I’m atheist, but I’m willing to believe in most things with sufficient proof. I’ve discussed God with a preacher at the church I used to go, and I didn’t find that what she was saying was what a god, if one existed, would act like. ---
**Author:** ![Crivens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Crivens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crivens)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957/60 "2003-07-11T22:52:52Z")
How would a God act? (This will be my last question on the subject, before we break out in a **Great Debate** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bisexual-male-teenager/186957.md?page=4)